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Original poster

What does this message from Husbands Mistress mean?

155 replies

zennor123 · 29/03/2021 10:45

HI
My Husband had an affair he says he ended at the end of 2018 this girl text me yesterday saying:

The joke is on you I have already had your husband I just got bored with sharing. He is pretty good in the bed and out the bed yet he doesnt want you.

DO you guys read this that they are still sleeping together and she has given him an ultimatum of that she stopped seeing him?

OP posts:
altiara · 29/03/2021 19:12

Text her back "You must have wrong number. My husband passed away 7 years ago".

I’d be tempted to write back, "You must have wrong number. My ex- husband’s gay”.

But, not if you texted her first.

EarthSight · 29/03/2021 19:37

@lighteincastlewindow

Text her back "Sorry, which one are you?"

Definitely do this. Take the wind out her sails

That's good.

Also, why is he still your husband? :/

Norwaydidnthappen · 29/03/2021 19:55

I would say she’s bitter it ended but if it’s been 2-3 years since it ended, I’d also be questioning why she’s suddenly contacting you now. Sounds like he may still have been in contact with her and it’s only just ended recently. I wouldn’t stick around personally, he’s a sleaze.

Bluntness100 · 29/03/2021 20:24

Text her back "Sorry, which one are you?"

Well that’s not going to work if the op texted her first. Which it seems hugely likely she did.

I’d also be questioning why she’s suddenly contacting you now

It would appear she was responding to the op texting her. The op seems reticent to confirm on that fact. She may just be busy.

Op, this was Years ago, if you think he’s still with her, then deal with him. Texting her, or being abusive to her, isn’t going to stop him. Or her.

And I’m sorry but if you think he’s still over the side, If it’s not her, it’s someone else. The issue is him. He’s the one cheating on you.

ismiseeire · 29/03/2021 20:55

I’d also be questioning why she’s suddenly contacting you now. Sounds like he may

It's clear that she has not contacted the OP. It's clear that the text is in response to the OP.

Have you ever texted anyone, 3 years later, to say 'the jokes on you'. No you don't. That was in response to something that the OP sent her.

It doesn't make sense as an isolated text. It was clearly in response to texts from the OP.

user1481840227 · 29/03/2021 21:42

@zennor123

Thanks everyone... I have felt he is still seeing her...When he said it was over and wanted to mend the marriage I had to stop asking him about this girl every day as it was making thinsg worse. He always maintained that he was not in contact anymore.

I cant confront him anymore as it leads nowhere. I also dont want to ask her outright if they are still 'together' as she will just gloat she seems really spitefull and nasty even though I have done nothing to her at all never even met her and it was my family that was disrupted and hurt by tier behaviour.

I just want to know the truth. My husband has been withdrawn again and unhappy again in the last few weeks so thats why I thought that maybe she had said to him right make a choice.

Obviously it will be divorce time if its all been a lie.

The disgustingness of it all is he works at the hospital on nights and she used to drive at 3am to meet him for sex in a car for 20 mins on a break......... after i had cooked and fed him and we all waved goodbye as he went to work saying love you daddy. ....

You get a message like that and you can't confront him?????? Well then it should be already divorce time whether he is lying or not.
ismiseeire · 29/03/2021 21:59

The affair is not ongoing as the other woman has responded saying that she in fact dumped him. I'd stop messaging her or you might get an harassment charge against you. She is gone. She is done. It is over. However, you do not seem to trust your DH anymore (understandably). Do you think that you can recover from this?

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 29/03/2021 22:36

@ismiseeire

I’d also be questioning why she’s suddenly contacting you now. Sounds like he may

It's clear that she has not contacted the OP. It's clear that the text is in response to the OP.

Have you ever texted anyone, 3 years later, to say 'the jokes on you'. No you don't. That was in response to something that the OP sent her.

It doesn't make sense as an isolated text. It was clearly in response to texts from the OP.

I disagree that it's clear that the OP texted first.

Yes, she might have done but equally it might have been as I said - that the HUSBAND got back in touch and told her that he'd told the OP that he'd finished it with her, so she decided to stir the pot by sending the message, including telling the OP that her husband had lied even more to her by saying he had ended it.

Bluntness100 · 29/03/2021 22:39

You get a message like that and you can't confront him??????

I can see why she can’t if she’s been contacting this woman and potentially abusing her. Which seems likely given the response the op has got from her.

Bluntness100 · 29/03/2021 22:41

Yes, she might have done but equally it might have been as I said - that the HUSBAND got back in touch and told her that he'd told the OP that he'd finished it with her, so she decided to stir the pot by sending the message, including telling the OP that her husband had lied even more to her by saying he had ended it

You’ve missed the point, it’s the way it is written which states it’s mid text conversation. It’s not an opening volley. It’s clearly a mid conversation one.

Leigh12x · 29/03/2021 23:03

If you’ve texted her first it’s likely she’s retaliating and is saying something she knows you’re insecure about. Block her number and if you truly can’t get over what your husband did to you then it’s definitely time to call it quits.

In all honesty, if I had an affair with a man and three years later she messaged me an abusive text and I knew she had ‘forgiven’ him as such, I’d probably say something nasty back too.

Closetbeanmuncher · 29/03/2021 23:11

he says he ended at the end of 2018

Well its safe to say that's a load of bollocks for a start.

NotMyPremium · 29/03/2021 23:22

How on earth did she get your number?

QuestionEverythingOrBeASheep · 29/03/2021 23:34

@CuriousaboutSamphire

Text her back "Sorry, which one are you?"

OK, maybe not!

But it doesn't sound as though your husband has been totally honest with you!

I would totally do this ^ Petty maybe it it would knock her down a peg or two, evil little cow.

You are worth more than this, regardless of promises of I'll never do it again, it was only one etc etc etc etc ....

Once a cheat, always a cheat, sorry. A cheat is also a big fat liar, remember that!

AramintaLee · 29/03/2021 23:37

Hi OP. How did you come to receive this message from the OW? Did she send it out of the blue or did you message her first?

If it was out of the blue then that would be a strange thing to send someone after 2-3 years... and I would think he'd only knocked the affair on the head recently. She comes across very bitter. That message was meant to cause maximum pain.

Onthedunes · 29/03/2021 23:39

It sounds as though this did not end in 2018.
It also sounds as though he made a choice and picked you.

It also sounds like this woman is clearly not intimidated by you and therefor would make you feel very unsafe, your husband has been a twat by becoming involved with someone who clearly is bordering on bunny boiler teritory. This would annoy me more than the affair the fact he has not protected you in any way shape or form.

I would end it, who the hell needs this kind of trouble bringing to your doorstep, I'd actually push him to go and leave for the psycho.

LouiseBelchersBunnyEars · 29/03/2021 23:47

It doesn’t make sense, does it?

I agree with PPs, that’s either a response, in which case, what did you text?
Or put on your socials?

Other possibility is drunk texting

firedog · 29/03/2021 23:50

@lighteincastlewindow

Text her back "Sorry, which one are you?"

Definitely do this. Take the wind out her sails

Hilarious
dane8 · 30/03/2021 00:00

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

OldWomanSaysThis · 30/03/2021 00:23

Sounds like it was an ongoing affair and when he became withdrawn a few weeks ago, she was putting pressure on him to pick and chose.

caringcarer · 30/03/2021 00:43

I would block her number and divorce him. It is crazy to let the horrid pair make you sick with sorry. You can trade up to someone far nicer and leave the pair of cheats to each other. They won't be happy because they both know the other will cheat.

SecretRedhead · 30/03/2021 06:10

@zennor123 how did she get your phone number? It sounds like she was replying to something you said. Did you message her first?

LadyEloise · 30/03/2021 09:57

It would be easy enough to get the wife's mobile number if you are a mistress and your lover isn't hiding his phone from you, I think.

EpochTime · 30/03/2021 14:48

Saying 'the joke is on you' is not a typical opening message out of the blue. I agree with pp that it is likely to be a response to a message previously received. Another option is that OW saw OP and MM laughing at some point - maybe a coincidental meeting in passing - and felt angry enough to send that sort of message.
Whatever the cause, it's a nasty message but it does indicate that the affair is no longer happening.

RantyAnty · 30/03/2021 15:55

Considering his odd behaviour, I suspect she gave him an ultimatum to leave you and your DH said no and now she's angry.

If you haven't messaged her, I do LOVE the response of:

"Sorry, which one are you?"