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Original poster

What does this message from Husbands Mistress mean?

155 replies

zennor123 · 29/03/2021 10:45

HI
My Husband had an affair he says he ended at the end of 2018 this girl text me yesterday saying:

The joke is on you I have already had your husband I just got bored with sharing. He is pretty good in the bed and out the bed yet he doesnt want you.

DO you guys read this that they are still sleeping together and she has given him an ultimatum of that she stopped seeing him?

OP posts:
Kelly345 · 29/03/2021 13:15

Perhaps ask yourself what sort of things he must have told her about you to make her gate you so much. You shouldn't even be in the same house as this man regardless of exams. Please find some dignity and just leave it throw him out.

Naillig222 · 29/03/2021 13:15

Her message is so bitter and nasty that I'd put my money on him ending it and her not being happy about it.
She's trying to get you to leave him by implying that it was her who ended it and saying he still doesn't want you. Why would she be like that if she was bored and ended things?

That said, this sounds a lot more recent that your husband is saying.

Kelly345 · 29/03/2021 13:15

Hate not gate. They really need an edit button on here.

Totallyfedup1979 · 29/03/2021 13:17

I’m sorry you are going through this op.

I would not text her back, it would give her the satisfaction of knowing that you’d read her spiteful message.

I would hold my head up high. Do not be afraid to ask your husband outright. He will not tell you the truth, but his reaction will tell you everything you need to know. He caused this problem and you shouldn’t have to tread on egg shells around him so as not to upset him.

seensome · 29/03/2021 13:19

Don't let her words hurt you, she's projecting how he's made her feel, he is scum though and not worth fighting for.
Hope you find a job soon as the exams are over then you can kick him to the kerb.

ContractClockAndCrucible · 29/03/2021 13:23

👍 Just send this. Get through your exams and kick him out. You deserve better.

idrinkandiknowthings · 29/03/2021 13:38

Wow. I was a OW but I'd never in a million years have contacted his wife, either during or after the affair.

TinkerPony · 29/03/2021 13:42

Forward text to the rat and instruct that he stay at hospital accommodation.
Wind up the ow 'sorry which one are you?'
Play them both at their dirty games especially that it seem to have been ongoing and unfortunately the stupid man too late decide he had enough of ow.
Feck that bs. No way.

chocorabbit · 29/03/2021 14:00

@JoyOrbison

Text her back "You must have wrong number. My husband passed away 7 years ago".

Op, you are way above him, wishing you all the best Wine

Or alternatively say that you divorced 4 years ago so she will think that he has been lying that he still is with his wife and it will cause fights.

Or best to wait for your exams.

CodMouth · 29/03/2021 14:04

Text back “The jokes on you, he’s got herpes.”

ismiseeire · 29/03/2021 14:06

It sounds like that's a response to a text you sent her. What did you text her?

Lunificent · 29/03/2021 14:11

I would turn the fact that it’s not convenient for your to split till May to your advantage. Use the time to process the information, to grieve, find some more evidence and organise your new life.

Maze76 · 29/03/2021 14:13

Bide your time. Be totally selfish, if you need to stay put in the house and maintain the status quo until after your exams etc.. then do so.
Do not respond to the text.. that’s making it easy for her:him.
Remember he will want to save face, so he will find a way to turn the breakdown of the marriage on you in some way. Silence is your friend- do not engage with her and, as hard as it may, for now, do not broach the subject with him.
You learn more from sitting back and observing- trust me I’ve been where you are. Good luck

BurgundyBells · 29/03/2021 14:21

That's not an out of the blue message from her - did you text first op? If so, that was unwise.

However I'd definitely say that's the message of a woman scorned, it's dripping with anger, bitterness and jealousy. I'd say its more likely he's dumped her - although I suspect there's a lot more that you've not divulged such as why you've messaged her after all this time.

B33Fr33 · 29/03/2021 14:26

Ignore the message as whoever sent it obviously is looking to stir up shit. Play your cards close to your chest.

Get tested though. Get your goals sorted as your priority.

LindaJoh · 29/03/2021 14:39

I don't know who I feel more sorry for...you was oblivious to all this, but now it's out in the open 🤷🏼‍♀️ what next kick him out leave him,
Or this silly woman, it's gone this long he's still not in a relationship with her.
Or this excuse for a man, useless piece of crap, less than nothing.
Please please don't listen to anything he as to say, it all means nothing.

ThatOtherPoster · 29/03/2021 14:58

It sounds like that's a response to a text you sent her. What did you text her?

That's not an out of the blue message from her - did you text first op?

I’ve been asking this. OP hasn’t responded, which may mean she did text first - which would be totally understandable! I’d be very tempted - but maybe feels a bit embarrassed about doing that?

Lweji · 29/03/2021 15:06

So I can only see it ending in divorce really. But I would still like to know the truth.

Some things are not worth pursuing.

Knowing won't change your lack of trust in him, nor his bad behaviour towards his family.

Bluntness100 · 29/03/2021 15:20

@ThatOtherPoster

It sounds like that's a response to a text you sent her. What did you text her?

That's not an out of the blue message from her - did you text first op?

I’ve been asking this. OP hasn’t responded, which may mean she did text first - which would be totally understandable! I’d be very tempted - but maybe feels a bit embarrassed about doing that?

Yes I think this is likely, because you don’t just suddenly send that text. That’s part of a conversation, where the woman has retaliated on whatever was said to her,

Without the full story people can’t really judge.

ismiseeire · 29/03/2021 16:25

Given that I believe that it's a response to a text you sent her, probably telling her that she's a joke or something, I would say that it has in fact ended as she's saying that she ended it effectively, rather than agreeing that he ended it (because you implied he had?). She's also agreeing with you that he's good in bed, so goodness knows what you sent her first! Please do tell us what you sent, as it will give more context.
I would say, it has ended, and if you are still being tormented and having to text her as you can not trust him anymore, for your sanity, I would just go for divorce. A life of misery and distrust will be awful for you. You would be better off alone and at least not living with that doubt all the time.

Cokie3 · 29/03/2021 16:36

@ismiseeire RTFT The OP has never texted her, spoke to her, or even met her. It came right out of the blue.

Itlod1982 · 29/03/2021 16:48

I don't think it's in response to anything. I think the OW is sick & twisted....something hasn't gone her way and she's gone psycho and trying to get payback on OPs DH by stirring up trouble for him!
To me it's sounds like something she's written when drunk and angry and wasn't making sense to her at the time

ismiseeire · 29/03/2021 16:50

[quote Cokie3]@ismiseeire RTFT The OP has never texted her, spoke to her, or even met her. It came right out of the blue.[/quote]
And you swallowed that? The text makes no sense unless as a response to a text from the OP. If she's never spoken to her, how did she have her number? How did she know who it was? The text didn't start off with 'Hi, this is Sharon, the woman who fucked your DH in 2018'

Bluntness100 · 29/03/2021 16:54

[quote Cokie3]@ismiseeire RTFT The OP has never texted her, spoke to her, or even met her. It came right out of the blue.[/quote]
That’s not what rhe op said, she said she’d done nothing to her and had not met her.

That text is clearly in response to something. No one starts a text with just “the joke is on you” .

The op hasn’t denied she texted first, and I suspect she has, and unpleasantly and this woman has eventually responded with this. It’s retaliatory.

ismiseeire · 29/03/2021 16:58

100% on the money Bluntness.