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Original poster

What does this message from Husbands Mistress mean?

155 replies

zennor123 · 29/03/2021 10:45

HI
My Husband had an affair he says he ended at the end of 2018 this girl text me yesterday saying:

The joke is on you I have already had your husband I just got bored with sharing. He is pretty good in the bed and out the bed yet he doesnt want you.

DO you guys read this that they are still sleeping together and she has given him an ultimatum of that she stopped seeing him?

OP posts:
Wanderlusto · 29/03/2021 11:44

@lighteincastlewindow

Text her back "Sorry, which one are you?"

Definitely do this. Take the wind out her sails

I third this. Only way to go really xD
Original poster
zennor123 · 29/03/2021 11:45

thankyou anybody that helps I am heartbroken about all this .

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 29/03/2021 11:47

Find your anger, @zennor123

With him.

Whatever you decide to do has to be based in the truth. No matter how hard that truth is to hear you need it and nobody who loves you would deny you the right to make a fully informed decision.

Flowers
Purplecatshopaholic · 29/03/2021 11:49

Whatever he was getting up to with her, defo did not end in 2018. Sorry op, I hope you are ok.

singleagain22 · 29/03/2021 11:49

It sounds like she is bitter and angry.

I would say your husband had ended it.

Possibly not 3 years ago unless she really bears grudges.

Itsalonghaul · 29/03/2021 11:56

I don't think you should assume it is still carrying on, I would actually message her back and ask her why she feels like this when they split up so long ago. You need to know.

If she says it was recently, ask for photos and proof. It won't take you long to work out whether he was with you/at home or not.

Once a cheat always a cheat. I am sorry op. How bloody awful for you Flowers

Alcemeg · 29/03/2021 11:57

So sorry OP.

Ask your husband what it means?

SmashedAvocado · 29/03/2021 11:57

Did you find out about the affair from this message or did you already know? Sounds like he’s either just ended it or recently been in contact with her telling her you have found out.

She sounds like trash (obviously he is too).

Itsalonghaul · 29/03/2021 11:58

I certainly wouldn't be relying on HIM for the truth.

This is not about her, she could be anyone. Anyone at all.
This is about the truth, and your relationship with him, and whether he has been honest with you.

Bluntness100 · 29/03/2021 11:58

Is this part of a conversation op? Did you text her first? That is in now way a starter message. That’s a response to something.

Original poster
zennor123 · 29/03/2021 11:59

Thanks everyone... I have felt he is still seeing her...When he said it was over and wanted to mend the marriage I had to stop asking him about this girl every day as it was making thinsg worse. He always maintained that he was not in contact anymore.

I cant confront him anymore as it leads nowhere. I also dont want to ask her outright if they are still 'together' as she will just gloat she seems really spitefull and nasty even though I have done nothing to her at all never even met her and it was my family that was disrupted and hurt by tier behaviour.

I just want to know the truth. My husband has been withdrawn again and unhappy again in the last few weeks so thats why I thought that maybe she had said to him right make a choice.

Obviously it will be divorce time if its all been a lie.

The disgustingness of it all is he works at the hospital on nights and she used to drive at 3am to meet him for sex in a car for 20 mins on a break......... after i had cooked and fed him and we all waved goodbye as he went to work saying love you daddy. ....

OP posts:
Itsalonghaul · 29/03/2021 11:59

Assuming anything at this stage is the worst thing you can do.

You need to get to the bottom of what has happened, and then slowly consider your options and whether you wish to carry on or not (depending on what you find out)

Bluntness100 · 29/03/2021 12:03

Op did you text and ask her? As said. That’s not a starter random message that’s a response to something.

lalafafa · 29/03/2021 12:04

She’s being spiteful. I’d block and ignore her. Screenshot the message then send it to your partner, ask him what it means.

Knittedfairies · 29/03/2021 12:05

Why did she have your number?

Kelly345 · 29/03/2021 12:06

Oh come on! He's been withdrawn and unhappy in recent weeks then all of a sudden you get a text like that? Wake up. You need to show him the message. It's pretty obvious they are still in contact.

ThatOtherPoster · 29/03/2021 12:06

I just want to know the truth.

I don’t think we ever get the truth out of cheats, as they’re obviously liars.

What’s stopping you splitting up? What are you frightened of?

Original poster
zennor123 · 29/03/2021 12:07

I found a burner phone on top of my daughters wardrobe in July 2018...i took the phone and my 4 year old to the park to look through it....when we returned home he had left and went to live in hospital accomodation then came back 4 weeks later. ....

he has tried in the beginning with us and the children more and put in more effort until Septemeber when he began acting the same withdrawn cold and just angry all the time.

I just cant seem to provife stability for my children like this. So I can only see it ending in divorce really. But I would still like to know the truth.

OP posts:
Wheresthebeach · 29/03/2021 12:07

Sorry OP. From your update I think you know in your heart that this has still been going on.

You'll probably never get the truth from him and don't let that stop you from doing what you need to in order to be happy and find a relationship with someone who deserves you. They rarely confess.

harknesswitch · 29/03/2021 12:07

I'd ask her. Ok she may gloat but she's (and your dh) the one that should be ashamed not you. As her for proof that she's been seeing him. At least then you'll have proof when you confront him.

For me there'd be no second chances. Use this time to get your house sorted, see a solicitor so you know where you stand and then kick his cheating ass our

ThatOtherPoster · 29/03/2021 12:07

And what prompted her to send this message? “Well the jokes on you” doesn’t sound like something anyone would say out of the blue.

BluebellsGreenbells · 29/03/2021 12:07

Marriage should be based on love respect and honesty

You have none of those

Whether he’s having an affair or not, you clearly aren’t happy. Why cling to a sinking ship?

Dindundundundeeer · 29/03/2021 12:08

It’s clearly been a lie

Wanderlusto · 29/03/2021 12:09

Could it be him messaging pretending to be her so that you don't contact her for the truth as you think she is nuts? So then you cant find out the extent of the affair.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 29/03/2021 12:09

Given your later posts you'll never know the whole truth, I suspect. Assume whatever you will and tell him to sod off!

You'll mend soonest if you get this done with quickly, a bit like ripping off a sticking plaster!

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