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Original poster

What does this message from Husbands Mistress mean?

155 replies

zennor123 · 29/03/2021 10:45

HI
My Husband had an affair he says he ended at the end of 2018 this girl text me yesterday saying:

The joke is on you I have already had your husband I just got bored with sharing. He is pretty good in the bed and out the bed yet he doesnt want you.

DO you guys read this that they are still sleeping together and she has given him an ultimatum of that she stopped seeing him?

OP posts:
Itlod1982 · 29/03/2021 12:33

@zennor123 so sorry to hear you're going through this.
Sounds so similar to what I went through 6 years ago and it was tough but I've never been happier.

I'd just ask the OW. She might well gloat but at the end of the day she's the lowest of the low as she knew he was married so who cares what she thinks. And after your ex is out of the picture you'll never need to hear from her again.
It should be easy enough for her to prove with screenshots of his messages. Giving her the satisfaction of you asking will be worth it of you can get to the bottom of this.

Personally I think you should leave your ex-H anyway but if you have this proof it gives him absolutely no come back at all and you'll not spend years doubting if he was still cheating or not.

If you do ask the OW I'd drop into the conversation that she's been one of many and at least that might wipe any smug smile off her face. Also when you do kick your H's husband ass out, there's a chance he'll go running to her so that might put a stop to that!!

Sending big hugs Thanks

ShaneTheThird · 29/03/2021 12:34

Im sorry op you need to divorce the bastard this is no way to live. A burner phone in 2019 which he walked out on his children over for a month? An angry bitter message after supposedly 3 years!? Where did she get your number? Hold tight for your exams. In all honesty with his moody behaviour i think he might out himself in the next 2 months but if not dont hold out hope of ever knowing the full truth. Just know if its not her its someone else or many someone elses.

PurpleRainDancer · 29/03/2021 12:36

@TaraR2020

I'd also suggest that if that's the kind of woman he cheated on you with, he's punching wayyyy above his weight with you.

Hope you're ok, op Flowers

This absolutely
ShaneTheThird · 29/03/2021 12:36

I disagree with pps saying text the mistress. Dont do that. Either way the marriage is over and you will never know the full truth. Dont give her the satisfaction of letting her gloat and belittle you plus she will probably lie to you as well anyway.

CirqueDeMorgue · 29/03/2021 12:37

@CuriousaboutSamphire

Text her back "Sorry, which one are you?"

OK, maybe not!

But it doesn't sound as though your husband has been totally honest with you!

I'd do this...

She sounds terribly classy, OP.

Itsalonghaul · 29/03/2021 12:41

You are better woman than me if you can live with not knowing. I couldn't. I would get in touch with her, you can always pretend you don't care and you are simply wanting to know the truth. For peace of mind and closure I would need to know, whatever pain or gloating.

Focus now on your exams, do not let anything or anyone stand in your way. Once they are done, you can deal with him.

He does not deserve you.

Changemaname1 · 29/03/2021 12:41

Sounds like sour grapes yeh but if this ended three years ago I’d be wary that something had been happening ( and ended ) again since then as seems a long time to still be bitter about someone ?

RightOnTheEdge · 29/03/2021 12:43

I don't think you will ever get the truth out of either of these two OP. I know it's hard not to know and want to find out every detail but you know he's a cheat and a liar maybe just try to somehow let that be enough.

Even if she just got drunk and decided to send you that and it did finish years ago I don't think that you will ever have happiness or peace of mind in this marriage. You deserve so much more.

I wish you lots of good luck for your exams.
Don't let them ruin it for you. Concentrate on the exams for the next few months and then you can better sort your life out.
Keep your head high you are worth so much more than either of them Flowers

SpringTimeDream · 29/03/2021 12:47

Brilliant

"Text her back "Sorry, which one are you?"

Seriously though @zennor123 sit down and find out what has been going on, however, since he has had an affair he is a not to be trusted shite and so would you believe him anyway.

HollowTalk · 29/03/2021 12:48

I think something has happened very recently for her to send that message.

I couldn't get past a partner who was shagging someone in the car park in the middle of the night. And you should judge a man by the company he keeps - if this sort of woman is what he goes for, I'd let him go. Wait until the time suits you, though.

nitsandwormsdodger · 29/03/2021 12:53

Yep sounds like it ended because she didn't like sharing not because he valued his marriage with you
She sounds young and rough
You say girl was she underage?

nitsandwormsdodger · 29/03/2021 12:54

...also she's drunk texting
All this time later which is tragic

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 29/03/2021 12:55

Sounds to me as though they may have stopped seeing each other 3 years ago, when he said, but that SHE ended it, not him.
And the message she's sent now would indicate that he has contacted her again to pick up where they left off.

IF that is the correct reading of it, then beware - because it looks like he's making a move to leave this time, as the message would indicate that she didn't want to share so would only have him back if he left you.

However, if you feel that they've been seeing each other all this time, then you're probably right - and she's just forcing his hand into leaving you sooner rather than later because he's dithering.

Either way, your marriage is done for, I'm so sorry. Thanks

JoyOrbison · 29/03/2021 12:55

Text her back "You must have wrong number. My husband passed away 7 years ago".

Op, you are way above him, wishing you all the best Wine

PhillipPhillop · 29/03/2021 12:55

Yes I agree with sending the which one are you text. Good luck op, if you can't get a truthful word out of him you are better off on your own.

nitsandwormsdodger · 29/03/2021 12:59

Apart from the cheating he is cold and not making effort with the kids so bin him and move in you deserve to be with someone who cherished you

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 29/03/2021 13:01

You'll never get the truth out of either of them. She'll lie - she's already shown that she's spiteful and nasty so I wouldn't believe a word from her and your husbands a liar and a cheat.

I'm so sorry OP - you deserve so much better.

Finish your exams and get yourself into a position where you're financially stable like you want and then leave him. You and your children deserve so much better than this.

whetherpigshavewings · 29/03/2021 13:01

sounds like she got dumped and is bitter about it.

A laughing reply would be my very first choice. I'd deal with him after.

Blindstupid · 29/03/2021 13:01

I’m sorry you’re going through this OP. I think you need to think of yourself and forget about whether he is actually still seeing her .... it sounds as though you’re still having a miserable time even though things are supposedly over between them, you don’t trust him .. so you need to work out if you can continue feeling like this regardless of the actual situation. You’ll never believe what he says anyway if you confront him ... I’d look at the bigger picture and decide how you can live without trust etc

starfishmummy · 29/03/2021 13:01

Stybstrong nd finish your exams and then think about what you want to do.

Hailtomyteeth · 29/03/2021 13:01

Silent fury for now.
Get ready for your exams and in your spare time plan your escape.
If you need a solicitor (married, property) see one, without letting him know.
You don't need 'proof'. You don't need 'the truth'.
You need a secure basis for living your life. So... he has to go.

AndeanMountainCat · 29/03/2021 13:05

Text back: U OK HUN

Then dump your scumbag husband!

Abcdefghi88 · 29/03/2021 13:05

So sorry OP, you deserve better!!

raincamepouringdown · 29/03/2021 13:10

I agree with others: focus on your exams, get your ducks in a row, and then kick his sorry arse to the kerb.

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 29/03/2021 13:12

@nitsandwormsdodger

Yep sounds like it ended because she didn't like sharing not because he valued his marriage with you She sounds young and rough You say girl was she underage?
Young and rough? Oh would you prefer old posh and horsey is that better? OW age and class are immaterial. OP husband has literally screwed both women. Lying, stringing them both along
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