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Original poster

What does this message from Husbands Mistress mean?

155 replies

zennor123 · 29/03/2021 10:45

HI
My Husband had an affair he says he ended at the end of 2018 this girl text me yesterday saying:

The joke is on you I have already had your husband I just got bored with sharing. He is pretty good in the bed and out the bed yet he doesnt want you.

DO you guys read this that they are still sleeping together and she has given him an ultimatum of that she stopped seeing him?

OP posts:
Letsrunabath · 29/03/2021 12:10

You need to text her, ask why she sent the message after 3 years.

Original poster
zennor123 · 29/03/2021 12:10

I am in the middle of my exams and cannot take over the finances until may when i finish and can look for work for the house thats why we are still 'together'. I am not really frightenend of leaving him I just am not in the position to for a few week x

OP posts:
YoniAndGuy · 29/03/2021 12:10

Obviously it will be divorce time if its all been a lie.

Why not 'obviously' divorce time now then?

Dery · 29/03/2021 12:11

““I just want to know the truth.”

I don’t think we ever get the truth out of cheats, as they’re obviously liars.”

This. Don’t hold out for knowing the truth. There’s a reasonable chance you will never know it. You can’t trust your DH. That’s all you need to know.

YoniAndGuy · 29/03/2021 12:12

@zennor123

I am in the middle of my exams and cannot take over the finances until may when i finish and can look for work for the house thats why we are still 'together'. I am not really frightenend of leaving him I just am not in the position to for a few week x
Ah apologies, cross posts.

Definitely leave him. Your descriptions of what he did are vile.

Yep, head down, let him think he's in the driving seat then - bam! Have a nice life cooking your own dinner with no one to wave you off to work, loser.

Dery · 29/03/2021 12:12

Concentrate on your exams. You can decide what to do when you have the headspace to think about it.

tuttifuckinfruity · 29/03/2021 12:12

I hate to bring it up, but if he has still been sleeping with her, cheating during covid / lockdown brings a whole new dimension of selfishness to me.

Meeting in hospital car park at 3am for sex on his breaks? Eeuurgh. During covid - double eeuurgh 🤢

I hope you're ok. If I was you I would harden my heart, start gathering evidence, making plans then confront him.

You already know he's a cheat. The only way you can stay with a cheat IMO is if they are seriously repentant and never give you cause to doubt them again. He sounds like a grumpy liar.

ThatOtherPoster · 29/03/2021 12:12

What prompted the message?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 29/03/2021 12:13

@zennor123

I am in the middle of my exams and cannot take over the finances until may when i finish and can look for work for the house thats why we are still 'together'. I am not really frightenend of leaving him I just am not in the position to for a few week x
Then spend the next few weeks concentrating on getting yourself in a good place. Paperwork and all the other little ducks.

You don't have to let him now anything has changed, that you have had this text. Just focus on what is best for you!

HaveringWavering · 29/03/2021 12:13

She is probably drunk and hard to tell what the message means. However you need to leave him. Regardless of what has been happening since 2018, do you really want to be with a man who uses his work breaks for sex in a car? That is disgusting.

justanotherneighinparadise · 29/03/2021 12:15

Well she’s a nasty bitch isn’t she? I think that message speaks volumes about the type of person she is and the fact your husband has dragged this negativity into your lives would be enough reason for me to walk. I’m so sorry OP, what a cunt he is.

enjoyingscience · 29/03/2021 12:17

You’ll never know the full truth, sadly.

The message reads weirdly though - like she was drunk when she wrote it. So there’s a chance it’s sour grapes, but equally, do you want this millstone round your neck of never getting the truth and always wondering?

Strength to you OP.

AryaStarkWolf · 29/03/2021 12:19

Hard to say really, although if she had ended it maybe she wouldn't have been bitter enough to message you? What i would wonder though is did he end 3 years ago, odd that she'd message now after all that time has passed

Princessbanana · 29/03/2021 12:20

Take your few weeks, do your exams to better your life and your children’s life! Ignore him all the way through, one word answers, just make him feel like you know without telling him. Go to a solicitor and get advice as you may be entitled to stay in your house! They in May, either leave if you have to or put him out! Tell him that you know everything and try to start moving on with your life. It looks an uphill battle but you can do it. Do you have family or friends for support?

AryaStarkWolf · 29/03/2021 12:21

I also dont want to ask her outright if they are still 'together' as she will just gloat she seems really spitefull and nasty even though I have done nothing to her at all never even met her and it was my family that was disrupted and hurt by tier behaviour.

I don't think you could trust her to tell you the truth anyway judging by the message she sent you

LongTimeMammaBear · 29/03/2021 12:21

This sounds like sour grapes. Don’t respond. Just block the number

If you can put up with living together until you finish your education in May when you can be more financially (and deal with the emotional gal out), try to stick it out for these two months but make your plans to leave.

The affair may or may not have continued but as your DH and your relationship is broken down regardless, leave. If it’s not this lady, could be another hence don’t engage with this lady at all but plan to move on, on your own terms/timeline.

Best of luck to you

Manxiety · 29/03/2021 12:23

She is probably your best hope of getting the truth OP - and especially at the moment, while she's angry. It doesn't really matter what she thinks. I would feel it would be worse for her to feel you know what he does but allow or put up with it. Ask her what's been going on and for proof. If she can prove it you have your answer, if she can't - it's unlikely to be still going on. Just behave with dignity then you'll be the better person.

Seafog · 29/03/2021 12:23

He is a cheating skeet, you already know that, and he isn't filling you with joy.
As long as you know you have your eye on a date to put him out, and don't let him sleep with you or fall for his bamboozle, you will come through this.
Flowers

SleepingStandingUp · 29/03/2021 12:24

I'd assume they split, then got back together Sept time, she's given him some sort of ultimatum recently and he's "picked" you so she's bitter.

Get your exams smashed and leave his dirty ass

How did she get your number?

2bazookas · 29/03/2021 12:27

I think she's a disappointed dumped bitch trying to take her revenge.

Show it to DH and tell him " You have ONE CHANCE ONLY to deal with this. IF you ever see this tart again; if I EVER hear from her again, her messages will be forwarded to all your family members and all your work colleagues and all our friends. And my solicitor.

It's all up to you."

Mmn654123 · 29/03/2021 12:27

@CuriousaboutSamphire

Text her back "Sorry, which one are you?"

OK, maybe not!

But it doesn't sound as though your husband has been totally honest with you!

Love that idea!
Abfabfanjo · 29/03/2021 12:28

I'd text a line of crying with laughter emojis and ignore any further communication with her.

Then I'd confront DH with the news that the marriage has run its course, and it's time for him to fuck off permanently for hospital accomodation.

CommanderBurnham · 29/03/2021 12:29

Sour grapes. I reckon. If she's dumped him then she wouldn't have messaged you. It's a revenge text I reckon.

Mmn654123 · 29/03/2021 12:31

You deserve better than him.

Definitely text her ‘sorry, which one are you?’

And then finish your exams and walk away with your head held high.

Justilou1 · 29/03/2021 12:33

Do you have a car or a shed? I’d be going through those looking for another burner phone. Otherwise it’s in his locker at work. Arse. I’m so sorry. You really don’t deserve this. His behaviour alone is enough reason to bail out.

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