New neighbour wants me to be friends with his wife

[AlTempleton]

New neighbours moved in a few months ago. I saw the husband not long after they had moved in and we introduced ourselves and exchanged pleasantries.

I didn't meet his wife for a while, but then about a month ago I was cleaning my car and they both came out with their baby and came over to introduce the wife. He did all the talking - told me her name, that she's a SAHP, she doesn't know anyone here - and she stood there nodding and smiling as he spoke, but not actually saying anything herself. He explained her English is limited but she'd love to make some friends, she's very lonely at home alone when he's out at work, and that I should go round for tea with her once restrictions are over. I said something noncommittal like "that's very kind" and left it at that and didn't think anything more of it.

However I've just bumped into him again, this time on his own, while I was coming back from walking my dog, and he reminded me about having tea with his wife and reiterated again how lonely she is. He also said we can go in each other's gardens from next week. I said something like, oh well work's very full on at the moment but thanks, that's very nice of you.

I have a feeling now though that he's not going to drop it and that he's got me lined up to be a friend for his lonely wife. This is probably really mean of me, but I just don't want to. I'm working full time and I have a generally busy life, but also I just don't want the pressure of being the person who has to resolve this stranger's loneliness. I've only met her that once when he brought her out to meet me, but I have bumped into him loads of times as he's gone out to work, gardening or he's going for a run. I only ever see her sat at her living room window staring out. It feels like I've been earmarked to resolve the issue of her never going out.

I want to very politely shut this down as I don't want to have to vaguely keep saying things like "work is full on at the moment" every time he brings it up because I think that's not going at stop him asking me, particularly when restrictions are lifted.

Any ideas please? (Or am I just a horrible person??)

@AlTempleton

you might need to switch off the radio buttons under the notifications bar as well (@mentions and the I'm Watching buttons)🌹

@Whatamess582

Yeah sorry. My bad. Profuse apologies. Should have read 34 pages of messages... won’t make that mistake again

@Whatamess582 why did you post without reading the thread and then go to the very last page? Was it to see the responses to your post?

@Veterinari seems like you have some burgeoning anger issues. Have you tried mindfulness... 😘

@Whatamess582 Be kind.

@Whatamess582

Having been ‘the wife’ in this situation, imagine it would be so nice for her to have a contact. You don’t have to be ‘friends’ and have weekly coffee mornings and Tupperware parties. Just have 1 cup of tea with her, let her know you’re always around if she needs you. Honestly, No one likes being forced into a friendship and she is probably feeling awkward and cringey about it all too.... but she will also massively appreciate the effort and kindness. The husband is being a bit pushy but he loves his wife and is trying to help her. I think your desire to shut it down is a bit unkind and unneighbourly. She lives in your community and is trying to integrate. Be kind.

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

@stackemhigh yes that’s exactly what it was.... you hit the nail on the head.

Have a good day jumping on people who make an honest mistake on a mumsnet thread. 😄

@Bouny

Here is a great recipe for choc chip cookies which I found on here (200 g of choc chips though I’d say 😬)

110g/4oz unsalted butter, softened
110g/4oz golden caster sugar
110g/4oz light muscovado sugar
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla essence
170g/6oz plain flour
½ tsp baking powder
¼ tsp salt
150g/5oz chocolate, cut into small chunks

Preheat the oven to 190C/375F/Gas 5.
Beat the butter together with the sugar. ith a fork beat the egg together with the vanilla essence and add this to the butter mixture.
In a bowl, mix together the flour, baking powder and salt. Add this to the butter and egg mixture and blend well. Mix in the chunks of chocolate
Make the cookies: line four baking sheets with non-stick baking paper.
Using your hands, form the dough into walnut-sized balls and arrange on the baking sheets spaced well apart.
Bake in the oven for 10 minutes. Allow to cool for a few minutes and then transfer to a wire rack.
🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼

I was reading this recipe and got to the last line of it and my brain read this as "...then transfer to a wine rack" and for the life of me I couldn't work out why you would want to transfer chocolate chip cookies to a wine rack...but there you have it and I need to have more coffee, clearly as I seem to have lost the power to read coherent sentences!

I don't know. I don't know the rules of being kind. Cos cold-hearted.

Vipers are, you'll fit in well.

Ahahahahahahahahahaha. This thread is hilarious, thanks for the entertainment OP! The BeKind mob baying for blood are priceless. Do they even realise their rank hypocrisy? I guess not, they’d have to read the thread first.

Chin up OP, it’s not you, it’s them

@Whatamess582

Yeah sorry. My bad. Profuse apologies. Should have read 34 pages of messages... won’t make that mistake again

It is 'your bad'

It is extremely easy to see the OP's posts in any thread. That way you know what is going on and others don't have to read your twaddle fascinating insights.

Give it a go.

[quote Whatamess582]@stackemhigh yes that’s exactly what it was.... you hit the nail on the head.

Have a good day jumping on people who make an honest mistake on a mumsnet thread. 😄[/quote]
So you’re not interested in reading other people’s posts or even just all of OP’s posts, yet you were desperate to see responses to your own post?! Who does that?!

@GrumpyHoonMain

What’s the harm in having a cup of tea with her every once in a while and cooing over the baby? Once things ease she’ll find her own friends anyway.

OFFS!!

Oh, and @AlTempleton - if your neighbour does approach you again when you're by yourself, you need only take a leaf out of his book and say "No thank you" to whatever suggestion he puts forward to you. What's good for the goose is good for the gander (not that you are a gander or anything but if you'll just go with the saying )

@BaronessBomburst

🐕💐🏃🍰

@FlaviaAlbiaWantsLangClegBack

Here’s the link in case it’s still going tonight then

www.mumsnet.com/Talk?call=Preferences
The notification settings are at the bottom.

Thank you! I've now sorted it and turned off notifications. And deleted a billion emails from my inbox

[quote Newestname001]@AlTempleton

you might need to switch off the radio buttons under the notifications bar as well (@mentions and the I'm Watching buttons)🌹[/quote]
Ah - thank you. Done

@EmpressWitchDoesntBurn

@FortunesFavour

Ahahahahahahahahahaha. This thread is hilarious, thanks for the entertainment OP! The BeKind mob baying for blood are priceless. Do they even realise their rank hypocrisy? I guess not, they’d have to read the thread first.

Chin up OP, it’s not you, it’s them

Thank you

@DartmoorDoughnut I will, thank you. X