Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 ··· 30 31 32 ··· 39 40

Original poster

New neighbour wants me to be friends with his wife

1000 replies

AlTempleton · 28/03/2021 10:09

New neighbours moved in a few months ago. I saw the husband not long after they had moved in and we introduced ourselves and exchanged pleasantries.

I didn't meet his wife for a while, but then about a month ago I was cleaning my car and they both came out with their baby and came over to introduce the wife. He did all the talking - told me her name, that she's a SAHP, she doesn't know anyone here - and she stood there nodding and smiling as he spoke, but not actually saying anything herself. He explained her English is limited but she'd love to make some friends, she's very lonely at home alone when he's out at work, and that I should go round for tea with her once restrictions are over. I said something noncommittal like "that's very kind" and left it at that and didn't think anything more of it.

However I've just bumped into him again, this time on his own, while I was coming back from walking my dog, and he reminded me about having tea with his wife and reiterated again how lonely she is. He also said we can go in each other's gardens from next week. I said something like, oh well work's very full on at the moment but thanks, that's very nice of you.

I have a feeling now though that he's not going to drop it and that he's got me lined up to be a friend for his lonely wife. This is probably really mean of me, but I just don't want to. I'm working full time and I have a generally busy life, but also I just don't want the pressure of being the person who has to resolve this stranger's loneliness. I've only met her that once when he brought her out to meet me, but I have bumped into him loads of times as he's gone out to work, gardening or he's going for a run. I only ever see her sat at her living room window staring out. It feels like I've been earmarked to resolve the issue of her never going out.

I want to very politely shut this down as I don't want to have to vaguely keep saying things like "work is full on at the moment" every time he brings it up because I think that's not going at stop him asking me, particularly when restrictions are lifted.

Any ideas please? (Or am I just a horrible person??)

OP posts:

Thread gallery

DartmoorDoughnut · 30/03/2021 07:32

@DartmoorDoughnut

Oh my fucking god!!!

OP went round with a bunch of daffs and her husband and invited both of the neighbours around for tea and cake the neighbour DH said no thanks and shut the door!

I mean seriously how difficult is it to just read the OP’s posts even if you don’t RTFT?!

unicornpoopoop · 30/03/2021 07:45

I wonder what the comments would be if there was a lonely man insisting a woman go round and spend time with him 🤨

Original poster

AlTempleton · 30/03/2021 07:47

MNHQ won't allow the thread to be deleted, so we're stuck with this until we have 500 posts telling me to be kind and go round, and another 500 posts telling the first 500 that I did go round

OP posts:

Nanny0gg · 30/03/2021 07:47

@Skyblu

Firstly, you don’t have to ‘save’ her. You’ve blown this out of all proportion in your own head. You’ve got a new neighbour, she doesn’t know anybody and she’s lonely. Her husband is just trying to help his wife, and thought you look like a friendly person. That’s it. That’s all it is. Just have a cup of tea in the garden with the woman. Would it kill you to reach out some kindness? You don’t have to be her best friend & saviour. Just a cuppa & 30 mins with a new neighbour. Help someone who is feeling lonely/isolated because of lockdown & in strange new place. That’s what they did years ago, in the war, neighbours were nice to each other, people looked out for one another. The world needs more of that! But if you’re too busy, then you’re too busy. Let’s hope you never need the kindness of a stranger for 30 mins.

You didn't read the OP's posts did you?

Nanny0gg · 30/03/2021 07:49

@AlTempleton

MNHQ won't allow the thread to be deleted, so we're stuck with this until we have 500 posts telling me to be kind and go round, and another 500 posts telling the first 500 that I did go round

Then they should put a stonking great banner on here telling people to read your posts!

Veterinari · 30/03/2021 07:51

@Skyblu

Well thank goodness you turned to give advice on an OP that was posted two days and 500 posts ago without reading any updates

After all there's no chance the thread would have moved on in that time is there?

Still as long as you got to stick the boot in to the OP, that all that matters isn't it.

Veterinari · 30/03/2021 07:52

@AlTempleton

MNHQ won't allow the thread to be deleted, so we're stuck with this until we have 500 posts telling me to be kind and go round, and another 500 posts telling the first 500 that I did go round

Hang in there @AlTempleton

CuriousaboutSamphire · 30/03/2021 07:57

Would THIS be a realy good time for a biscuit recipe?

Sugarygoodness · 30/03/2021 08:04

You must go round, and drink tea FROM a daffodil. Only this level of weirdness will free you. Also, wear a grossly inappropriate frilly flamenco dress.

LittleMissNaice · 30/03/2021 08:05

Wait. I know you OP. Aren't you the one who lives at number thingymagig round the corner? The one with daffodils in the garden and the Spanish neighbours? No pampas grass? Thought I recognised you. 👋

there, you've been outed. They'll have to delete it now

rookiemere · 30/03/2021 08:05

@CuriousaboutSamphire cake not biscuit recipe RTFT

CuriousaboutSamphire · 30/03/2021 08:06

Original poster

AlTempleton · 30/03/2021 08:17

@CuriousaboutSamphire

Would THIS be a realy good time for a biscuit recipe?

Yes please. In fact, get the thread filled up with recipes and anything else you can think of

OP posts:

Alcemeg · 30/03/2021 08:19

@AlTempleton

MNHQ won't allow the thread to be deleted, so we're stuck with this until we have 500 posts telling me to be kind and go round, and another 500 posts telling the first 500 that I did go round

OK, quick let's make up the numbers.

@Sugarygoodness — what excellent suggestions.

OP, for pity's sake, you must have a heart of ice. 763 messages and you still haven't been persuaded to show even a glimmer of human decency. Spring is in the air, you could at least pick some flowers for the poor woman. Why not just spare 30 minutes of your so-called "precious time" just to offer a cup of tea? Don't expect to get past those Pearly Gates if this is the sort of callous behaviour you expect to get away with in this life. Just warning you.

Original poster

AlTempleton · 30/03/2021 08:20

OP do come back and give us an update

Ha ha do you think I'm a masochist?? I mean, I know I said I would, but that was two days ago when I still had a thread of humour left in me. I woke up to about 25 emails from MN this morning with all the tagging and updates. After this thread reaches its 1000 posts I'm having a digital detox and perhaps some intense therapy I'm never coming on here again!

OP posts:

Sugarygoodness · 30/03/2021 08:23

You could start leaving daffodils in increasingly strange places. One carefully posted through the letter box one day, the next, a heart shape of daffs on the doormat. Maybe one under the windscreen wiper?
Maybe a barbie dolll without a head, and a DAFFODIL poking out its neck hole.

BuiltForComfortNotForSpeed · 30/03/2021 08:28

. I wanted to leave you a bunch of flowers OP, then I spotted this and thought it was even better!

sonjadog · 30/03/2021 08:30

No, you promised to update! I want to know if he asks again or not.

clarehhh · 30/03/2021 08:35

Steer clear be polite and exchange greetings when you see in street otherwise before you know it they will want you to take her to Dr to translate etc.

Original poster

AlTempleton · 30/03/2021 08:41

@BuiltForComfortNotForSpeed

. I wanted to leave you a bunch of flowers OP, then I spotted this and thought it was even better!

If you could let everyone know how to do that daffodil icon, perhaps we could all fill the thread up with daffodils? Set me free from this flagellation a bit quicker?

OP posts:

Mmn654123 · 30/03/2021 08:43

@clarehhh

Steer clear be polite and exchange greetings when you see in street otherwise before you know it they will want you to take her to Dr to translate etc.

Ah so the daily cup of tea with the lonely neighbour will result in Op learning fluent Spanish, not the neighbour learning English.

Well now that changes things. Op, you might miss out on an educational opportunity here if you don’t act fast. Free daily Spanish tuition. What an offer!!! And in return you just have to occasionally stand on the other side of a screen translating, while the neighbour has her smear test. Maybe go along to her covid vaccination with her. But you’ll have a whole new language! You can go to Peru!

Original poster

AlTempleton · 30/03/2021 08:44

🌷🌷🌷 I don't have a daffodil icon (ironic, I know) but I do have pretty spring tulips

OP posts:

Original poster

AlTempleton · 30/03/2021 08:46

@AlTempleton

🌷🌷🌷 I don't have a daffodil icon (ironic, I know) but I do have pretty spring tulips

Oh they look like little vaginas on stalks 🌷🌷🌷

OP posts:

Mmn654123 · 30/03/2021 08:46

Original poster

AlTempleton · 30/03/2021 08:47

@Mmn654123

Thank you. Here's a tulip 🌷

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 ··· 30 31 32 ··· 39 40

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is not accepting new messages.

Swipe left for the next trending thread