An insult or normal behaviour?

[Jamesworks2hard]

Hi all, I hope I'm putting this in the right place. I don't know what to make of this, is it normal or should I feel offended?

With us hopefully heading towards getting back to some form of normal, I decided to get back onto a dating site, but not the one I used last time. I wrote out my profile, added a few pictures and did everything I'd done before and what is within the rules and regulations on the site. This was at 10am this morning.

I've just logged in and started to browse through the ladies within my selected age group and found about 20% of them had blocked me! I felt mortified and it upset me somewhat. I'm no Greek god, but according to my friends, I have what's called a friendly face with kind eyes, I take that as a compliment.

Are there any other guys on here who use them and would you say that what's happened to me is normal or over the top?

Have you double checked what you've written in your bio for anything dodgy/accidentally off putting?

When I was OLD there were some things I'd automatically block.

Are any of your pics of you shirtless and leaning against a car/wearing sunglasses indoors/hiding your manhood with a guitar? Have you said you're good at massage?

And if there were multiple "lol" "rofl" types or text speak in a bio.

There are just 4 pictures of me looking at the camera lens and doing nothing, no face pulling or gurning, my profile is written in perfect English, (spell checked and all in order). I've said nothing awkward, overtly sexual or loaded with innuendo. There's no mention of my likes/dislikes, but there is a small amount of humour thrown in to lighten it up, but nothing that would be classed as rude, deviant or even slightly risque.

I just don't understand it.

Do you work too hard James?
I’ve not tried old but surely it’s part of the process to weed out people you don’t fancy. Anyway, hopefully someone with some experience will come along soon.

Hair in your first photo and bald in the rest?

I dont know about 'blocking' but I've right swiped loads of ppl and then changed my mind later on after having a good look at their profile.

20% isn't much if blocking is just changing their mind.

Other guys, on Mumsnet? Who are you asking?

blocked, blocked or you mean the equivalent of right swipe? The latter is normal, can't like everyone. But I don't think I've ever actually blocked someone I had never talked to.

Maybe they're just weeding out the ones they're not interested in? Possibly thinking you're just not their type so preventing any unwanted messages from you. Probably not personal at all.

You say you were looking at women in your selected age group. Was this group around your own age? Just asking as if you were looking at women significantly younger than you (or older) you may not be of interest to those women.

Don't let it put you off!

If you are going for much younger women you will get blocked by most I would think?

Women on dating sites owe you precisely nothing. They may simply not fancy you, they may be looking for something you don't offer. They may have matched with someone else.

What do you mean by blocked? I've only ever done Tinder and that is just a case of matching or not. I would swipe left (reject) about 9 out 10 profiles for various reasons. I was looking for a partner, not starting a group. I would then 'reject' a further 3 out of 4 on chat and 2 out of 3 on meeting. None were necessarily doing anything wrong. Just not suited to me. Dating is a numbers game.

Any woman blocking/rejecting you early is doing you a favour as she is saving later agonising and anguish when chats/meets/relationships inevitably go wrong.

If you want, you could post your bio here so we can give feedback on how women may react to what you say. Its not always easy to think of pitfalls you may be falling into for the opposite sex.

The only people I have blocked is those that have been difficult or rude in interactions, or exes and people I work with.

Are all your exes on the same site?

I've had no hair for over 10 years and now always keep it short, when it does grow, it's patchy and I look like fox on chemo with mange.
I've not actually tried to send anyone a message yet, but the ones I'm on about have either blocked me (and it states that) or it says, " does not want to continue the conversation".

I'm 60 and have put my search to look for 54 to 62 year olds, I wouldn't say I'm looking for someone too you, plus I'm a young at heart guy.

As it's been mentioned, I'll copy and paste some of my profile for you to see, if it needs changing, please suggest what I should add/remove, it's below.

Very much an outdoors guy, cycling, a bit of gym, walking the dog, salmon fishing and finding new pubs/bars to try different food, beers and ales. I love going to concerts and the cinema, but one of my greatest loves, is people watching, a form of entertainment that offers so much scope for fun and humour. As humans, we go about life doing just what we shouldn't. If a sign states, "wet paint", we find we have to touch it to find out if it is, a simple instruction, but why do we not believe what we see?

If I wake up every day, that's a goal, waking up the day after is an aspiration.

My musical tastes are far and wide, electric to eclectic and from classical to experimental, I dip a toe in so many camps, but my favourites are electronic, rock, prog rock, ambient, blues, guitar blues, dance/disco and Cajun/Zydeco/Bluegrass/Country.

I enjoy cooking and creating/modifying food to share, I'm fed up with making meals for one, I do make a mean muffin though.

As for sports, football, rugby, golf are not for me, they are ball sports, much too slow, for me it has to have 2 wheels and go 200mph, so MotoGP, Superbikes and the Isle of Man TT it is then. I also like cycle racing, the Giro d' Italia, Tour de France and La Vuelta.

I have no objection to date a lady taller than myself, it'll give me a chance to wear my heels!

I've got one Rolo left, who want's it?

I have no objection to date a lady taller than myself, it'll give me a chance to wear my heels!

I've got one Rolo left, who want's it?

I would get rid of the above and just have a pleasant "looking forward to meeting you" sign off.

Don't be too hard on yourself, op! There is someone wonderful out there for you, it just takes time.

What's your opening line when you contact them? It should be more than 'hi' but friendly and respectful.

Otherwise it's just a waiting game, someone will talk to you.

When I was dating many years ago pre internet times visual attraction was the first thing, which you can't do much about either your attractive to a woman or your not.

I'd be put off by fact you'll date someone 6 years younger but not 6 older it would seem weird to me & sexist like it's okay for women to have an older model but not men.

I'm not too sure about the "people-watching" section. It's not offensive, but it come across slightly off-key, like you feel a little superior or enjoy watching people look foolish. I'd scrap that bit if I were you.

people-watching could be taken as a reference to voyeurism,
get rid of that.
and try to be more straightforward; i don't think the roundabout/ ?jokey way of talking about sports works.
just say i like motor-racing etc.
frankly you sound a bit annoying, but it's probably the trying too hard to be entertaining/ funny.

drop all that. just state likes/ interests.
unless you feel it would be misleading not to include it because it is the way you actually talk, in which case i would find all that off-putting.

Hmm, I've never done online dating, and the thought horrifies me. So fair play for putting yourself out there. I don't think there's much massively wrong with your profile - a couple of minor cringes others have mentioned. The big turn off for me would be the "waking up is a goal, waking the next day is an aspiration" bit. I'd cut that out completely - it screams lack of ambition and laziness, and I genuinely don't think that's what you intended. Good luck!

The people watching is creepy AF.
Sorry. not sorry

Also get rid of the cycling and fishing chat unless it's a true passion of yours.

It’s wants not want’s. Minor point I suppose but I have a thing about apostrophes and would probably not be interested a profile which used want’s.

“ one of my greatest loves, is people watching, a form of entertainment that offers so much scope for fun and humour. As humans, we go about life doing just what we shouldn't. If a sign states, "wet paint", we find we have to touch it to find out if it is, a simple instruction, but why do we not believe what we see?“

This whole paragraph puts me off completely. People watching reads potential stalker and the ignoring wet paint sign makes you seem immature and lacking respect for others property.

Fishing, definitely the fishing.

and I thought you said the English was perfect...