An insult or normal behaviour?

[Jamesworks2hard]

Hi all, I hope I'm putting this in the right place. I don't know what to make of this, is it normal or should I feel offended?

With us hopefully heading towards getting back to some form of normal, I decided to get back onto a dating site, but not the one I used last time. I wrote out my profile, added a few pictures and did everything I'd done before and what is within the rules and regulations on the site. This was at 10am this morning.

I've just logged in and started to browse through the ladies within my selected age group and found about 20% of them had blocked me! I felt mortified and it upset me somewhat. I'm no Greek god, but according to my friends, I have what's called a friendly face with kind eyes, I take that as a compliment.

Are there any other guys on here who use them and would you say that what's happened to me is normal or over the top?

Thank you all for the pointers, I'll be rejigging the whole thing tomorrow, (well, now today). I'm sorry to offend anyone with my apostrophes, with having Fibro, sometimes things can be a bit foggy.

@Jamesworks2hard

I've had no hair for over 10 years and now always keep it short, when it does grow, it's patchy and I look like fox on chemo with mange. I've not actually tried to send anyone a message yet, but the ones I'm on about have either blocked me (and it states that) or it says, "** does not want to continue the conversation".

I'm 60 and have put my search to look for 54 to 62 year olds, I wouldn't say I'm looking for someone too you, plus I'm a young at heart guy.

As it's been mentioned, I'll copy and paste some of my profile for you to see, if it needs changing, please suggest what I should add/remove, it's below.

Very much an outdoors guy, cycling, a bit of gym, walking the dog, salmon fishing and finding new pubs/bars to try different food, beers and ales. I love going to concerts and the cinema, but one of my greatest loves, is people watching, a form of entertainment that offers so much scope for fun and humour. As humans, we go about life doing just what we shouldn't. If a sign states, "wet paint", we find we have to touch it to find out if it is, a simple instruction, but why do we not believe what we see?

If I wake up every day, that's a goal, waking up the day after is an aspiration.

My musical tastes are far and wide, electric to eclectic and from classical to experimental, I dip a toe in so many camps, but my favourites are electronic, rock, prog rock, ambient, blues, guitar blues, dance/disco and Cajun/Zydeco/Bluegrass/Country.

I enjoy cooking and creating/modifying food to share, I'm fed up with making meals for one, I do make a mean muffin though.

As for sports, football, rugby, golf are not for me, they are ball sports, much too slow, for me it has to have 2 wheels and go 200mph, so MotoGP, Superbikes and the Isle of Man TT it is then. I also like cycle racing, the Giro d' Italia, Tour de France and La Vuelta.

I have no objection to date a lady taller than myself, it'll give me a chance to wear my heels!

I've got one Rolo left, who want's it?

I met my H on POF and am in your age range .

"but one of my greatest loves, is people watching, a form of entertainment that offers so much scope for fun and humour. As humans, we go about life doing just what we shouldn't. If a sign states, "wet paint", we find we have to touch it to find out if it is, a simple instruction, but why do we not believe what we see?' I don't like this bit.
Mind you my H and I love to people watch . Maybe just reword eg someone to watch life with ? I have no idea what the "wet paint " thing is about .

"As for sports, football, rugby, golf are not for me, they are ball sports, much too slow, for me it has to have 2 wheels and go 200mph, so MotoGP, Superbikes and the Isle of Man TT it is then. I also like cycle racing, the Giro d' Italia, Tour de France and La Vuelta" This makes you sound like a sports bore . It's OTT. You can of course say it but maybe tone down ? No need to say what you don't like .

"I have no objection to date a lady taller than myself, it'll give me a chance to wear my heels!" Are you very short ? Why are you saying this? Height doesn't bother me but then I'm short and the best sex I've ever had has been with shorter guys .

I'm so sorry but I would not have been interested in this profile. It sounds a bit like you are looking for someone as an "add on ". The music bit too is in too much detail I think too . You need something to chat about ...How about a bit with " I'm looking for someone to ...enjoy life with ...a new chapter in my life ... ? Your post IS all about your likes. It is also " who WANTS it?" and yes you don't need that statement . I would say have another go and best of luck .

The way you are writing here is much more straightforward and pleasant and you seem really nice. Maybe you are actually hiding your nerves under a banterish style but it comes across a bit fake. Just saying what you like more briefly and referring to the woman you'd like to meet to share it all with will do the trick.

I agree with the comments above but also paused at:

'If I wake up every day, that's a goal, waking up the day after is an aspiration'

wondering if that was code for having major health issues.

I think being blocked by 20% isn't too bad actually. That leaves 80% available for you to message. OLD is a numbers game. Most people on dating apps swipe no on probably 80% of profiles, some swipe no on 95%. As there are thousands of profiles on there that still leaves more than one could ever date or even chat with. You can't expect to be everyone's type.

Agree with the comments on people watching - it's very common so no need to go into detail.
Waking up every day - god no, I'd think there was something wrong with you and it contradicts your life, which is seemingly full of interests/pursuits.
The heels - no!
Rolo - no thanks.
Age preference - why 6 yrs younger but only 2 older?

Also, try more than 1 dating site. It's all a numbers game.
Good luck!

i LOVE to edit, so have had a go at your bio - i agree with others, the people watching thing sounded rather odd and the heels bit might be a red flag for a lot of women... I rejigged some of your grammar a bit and added the physical appearance bit as i think that's what most women really want to hear... do with it what you will and good luck!

Very much an active guy - a bit of gym, walking the dog, salmon fishing and cycling. I enjoy finding new pubs/bars to try different food, beers and ales and love going to concerts and the cinema.

My musical tastes are far and wide, electric to eclectic and from classical to experimental, I dip a toe in so many camps, but my favourites are electronic, rock, prog rock, ambient, blues, guitar blues, dance/disco and Cajun/Zydeco/Bluegrass/Country.

I get a bit fed up making meals for one but I do really enjoy cooking and make a mean muffin!

As for sports - for me it has to have 2 wheels and go 200mph, so MotoGP, Superbikes and the Isle of Man TT. I also like cycle racing, the Giro d' Italia, Tour de France and La Vuelta.

I don't put restrictions on physical appearances and am more interested in warmth of character... so - I've got one Rolo left, who want's it?

gah - missed fixing the 'want's' in last sentence... should read 'wants' ;)

Well I think it's OTT to block someone for looking at a profile. The only time I've ever done that (as a female) is when a man looks at my profile again and again, and repeatedly 'likes' me (Match). This makes me uncomfortable, so I block them. It doesn't sound like you have done anything wrong though, so don't take it to heart and best of luck!

If you created your profile at 10am yesterday, contacted nobody, but then logged in and searched 12 hours later and found some had blocked you, then that surely indicates that those members have something set so that people outside of their criteria can contact them.

Depending on the site, they may have it set to:
Do not receive messages from men older than 60
Do not receive messages from men who have children
Do not receive messages from men who have joined in the last 24hrs (you wouldn't believe how many new spam accounts are created every day by bots)
Do not receive messages from men who aren't a paid member
etc etc

Also the line about wet paint - to me that reads as if you're hinting that you're married and want an affair. (As in, you know you shouldn't touch something, but you do anyway!) If you mean to say you're always trying new things, just say that.

Also agree with PPs about the "every day is a goal" thing, that sounds really heavy. If there's a back story about surviving a serious illness etc, then either put that in your profile, or just don't mention it until you've started talking to someone.

‘I have no objection...’
Lucky lucky ladies that you will not object about their physical characteristics! Go get those heels tiger 🙄

Take out the heels. I'd block based on that reference in case you actually liked wearing heels . Oh and the rolos statement is naff.

@alexdgr8

people-watching could be taken as a reference to voyeurism, get rid of that. and try to be more straightforward; i don't think the roundabout/ ?jokey way of talking about sports works. just say i like motor-racing etc. frankly you sound a bit annoying, but it's probably the trying too hard to be entertaining/ funny. drop all that. just state likes/ interests. unless you feel it would be misleading not to include it because it is the way you actually talk, in which case i would find all that off-putting.

I came here to say this!

The heels thing is presumably a joke but I'd be wondering if you were hinting you're a transvestite.

@MarshmallowAra

The heels thing is presumably a joke but I'd be wondering if you were hinting you're a transvestite.

@MarshmallowAra

The heels thing is presumably a joke but I'd be wondering if you were hinting you're a transvestite.

That made me spit my coffee

@Sugarandteaandmum

I completely agree with your observation

You probably haven't done anything wrong, you are just not what they are looking for or maybe trigger memories of other types they have met or didn't like.

I think I may have come across your profile before...or it's just very similar to the cringy ones I've seen!

I prefer the more factual profiles and get put off by humour actually. When you say that these women are blocking you, is that after you've messaged them? The thing you said about chemo isn't right - very poor taste. They have probably read your messages and don't want to hear from you again. I always block straight away if I receive a message from a man who says weird things, or a man that will repeatedly message after no reply. It's intimidating. And I wouldn't hesitate to block a man who wasn't man cup of tea looks wise.

The motorbike bit wouldn't put me off because I love MotoGP etc. Leave that in, you want to find someone that shares that interest too.

I think it’s good you came to MN for advice on this. You’ve had lots of helpful suggestions here. Also as a couple of PP have mentioned, the age thing bothers me (but as you say, you’re not aiming for significantly younger women so that’s good). But I think there’s a sense of entitlement around saying you’re happy to have a partner who’s 6 years younger but not 6 years older. There’s something quite off-putting about that.

What site is it?

I like @Christoncrutches rewrite. Try that.

Is anyone else wondering why women in here are helping a man hide his red flags? 😂

@nolovelost

I think I may have come across your profile before...or it's just very similar to the cringy ones I've seen!

I prefer the more factual profiles and get put off by humour actually. When you say that these women are blocking you, is that after you've messaged them? The thing you said about chemo isn't right - very poor taste. They have probably read your messages and don't want to hear from you again. I always block straight away if I receive a message from a man who says weird things, or a man that will repeatedly message after no reply. It's intimidating. And I wouldn't hesitate to block a man who wasn't man cup of tea looks wise.

Chemo?