He did the mash. The Geller mash.

[StuckInPollyannaMode]

Thread 4. Wow. Thank you for putting up with my ramblings thus far, and for all the support - I couldn't have done it without you all.

Previous thread here

I can confirm he has purchased a masher. He sent me a picture of it and asked if it was alright

I had help putting them together 😂😂

No way would my cat let me crochet every night, nor the (lap) dog tbh.

My cats are incredibly stupid. This one is a proper lap cat. She likes to snuggle into bed with me under the duvet 💕 she’s only allowed when the husband is at work 5 nights a week

I think my DH would have a purple coronary if he knew what was in my will. Still, I am comfortable I can get squashed by a bus knowing that my lifelong scrimps can't be hijacked if when he remarries, and will go to my DDs.

I haven't really thought about DH outliving me as he's 12 years older and has a chronic condition but if I married again I'd be sure to protect the DCs.

De lurking finally. Will is 100% important. Don't want to have an accident and Geller get it all

Mind you I've never told DH that my death in service is earmarked for my boys. Hopefully I won't die in service though.

Just want to say that if you are going to set up a trust for your kids, be very wary of lawyers running the show. My mother set up a Testamentary Trust with very clear instructions about what it was for and how she wanted it run for my kids. The executors were the lawyers she had set up her will. They took their cut, took two years to acknowledge any correspondence re the trust and then refused to comply with any of my mother’s wishes. Perfectly legal, as it is their right as the executors to do what they want. We sought legal advice, and discovered that in not acknowledging our correspondence at all, they had breached some code of conduct. While we were in the process of seeking legal advice, however, they handed the file to another company that took another three months to “set up a new file” and “look over the notes” and we have paper and email trails from them stating that they will pay school fees that never eventuate, then we have to wait another year, etc... Each phonecall, email, etc, costs my kids trust money. This is how they make their money and it is deliberate incompetence. Prior to the time this trust winds up, we are going to have to show where we have had to repeatedly chased and chased and demand repayment. It’s exhausting. Utterly exhausting.

@RandomMess your brain didn’t fail you it is @Mumblechum who does the wills.

And I’m sorry you’re far away from me as I think you would make a great Gin companion

Oh! And @StuckInPollyannaMode thanks for the Polly recommendation, much appreciated 👍

Will absolutely is important. My H died intestate, and we were still married, so I got everything. Pretty sure that wasn't what he wanted, given that we were divorcing at the time. I feel no guilt, it's for our DDs.

@pointythings - awesome!

justilou1 it was. Between his old school US life insurance policies and his savings, we ended up financially secure. Plus mortgage free house. A fair reward for putting up with 7 years' worth of alcohol fueled awfulness. I feel sad for him, don't get me wrong - he was a thoroughly decent guy when we married. But ultimately he chose drink over us, it cost him everything and it's left my DDs with some permanent trauma. So no guilt from me.

Well, I’m happy that you and your kids are financially secure!!!

But it just goes to show that making a will matters when you want specific things to happen. Which reminds me I also need to make a will.

Definitely Mumblechum who does the Wills, I think her username is actually Mumblechum0 though. Her Company used to be called Marlow Wills but I don’t know if that’s still the case

I think she might have moved onto @mumblechum1 now

😂 poor mumble probably fed up of being tagged in will posts!!

My DF has told me not to bother with life insurance so now I’m doubly confused add to that the sodding boiler has given up but either way I definitely need to do a will

*DartmoorDoughnut the kind of life insurance my husband had was the kind you hear about in American films, where you kill your spouse to get a big lump sum (as long as the policy has been in place an x amount of time). I'm not even sure they do those any more. One of his policies was set to not pay out if he lived to be 65, but the other wasn't, and he was only 58.

@justilou that’s awful! Total betrayal, what scumbags

[quote timeisnotaline]@justilou that’s awful! Total betrayal, what scumbags [/quote]
That's the problem - people and organisations will do their utmost to get out of paying. Life insurance companies in the US are notorious for it. In my case, one paid up without a murmur within 6 weeks of getting the paperwork. The other set a private investigator on me, demanded resubmission of almost every document despite acknowledging the ones I sent were genuine, insisted on speaking to the coroner in my country and then stalled and stalled for 9 months, saying 'no decision has been made yet'.

In the end I threatened them with a lawsuit - and made it very clear Air that because I was an Air Force widow, I had access to free legal representation. That made them cave in weeks, but it was still stressful.

@swampytiggaa

This is the blanket I crocheted starting at first lockdown but had to take a break due to breaking my arm. It’s pretty much made out of odd balls and ends of balls. So it was decluttering really 😂😂

That's beautiful. I want an Odd Ball Blanky

Unfortunately I have no knitting skills.

@pointythings I totally get that level of scumbag re paying out of life insurance- insurance policies are up there with used car salesmen really. But this is a whole next level- her mother’s assets, owned by her mother, are being prevented from being paid out to the children who are trust beneficiaries as per her wishes. That’s professional delinquency.
I’m in the process of setting up a testamentary trust ourselves for our dc, fortunately the executors will be family who will be free to engage lawyers /accountants to support them, although some are lawyers anyway and all are competent.

These bastards are simply parasitic bastards. No other word for it. Am furious, but unfortunately don't have the funds to take them on. Would be loathe to try - they pretty much wrote the laws here where I live regarding Testamentary Trusts in the first place. Arseholes.

Feeling very tearful this morning.

I just want a hug. From my mum, from my friends. This time last year I was still in the vaguely excited stage of lockdown, no idea what was coming and with the six worst months of my life ahead of me. I feel so guilty that I didn’t protect the kids sooner. Parents evening last night and they are both struggling with their confidence (yes he did manage to log on) and from the comments the teacher made they are parroting his words about not being able to do something, even though they are perfectly capable of doing it.

I’m worried about money and buying a house. I fear that I’m too vulnerable for the FWB thing but it’s all that’s keeping me going right now, and I’m keeping it in perspective.

I just want the deal done. And then I can move on. I fear that his lack of response is another power play over me.

I ran yesterday, doing Pilates today, eating loads of veg and fruit and doing al the right things.

But my heart is so heavy.

Just got to keep going, right?