Hi everyone,
I will try to keep this as short as possible!
Myself and my husband have been together for 18 years. We have two children together. In our 30's. We enjoyed a positive loving intimate relationship before the children came along. Thereafter, we still loved each other. But my sex drive took a massive nose dive. I didn't want sex. Wasn't interested in it and had no desire for it. Pretty much ever. My husband still very much wanted me sexually. I often rejected his advances and made excuses. I even used the children as a way to get out of having sex and distanced myself from him emotionally and physically in fear of him thinking that I wanted intimacy. I hated that I didn't want it. But I just didn't. And I expected him to just accept it. He often told me how unwanted he felt and would express how he just wanted to be close to me. But this was largely ignored by me. Anyway, fast forward a few years, I discovered he was having an affair. We are a few years past this point and have worked through a great deal of issues during this time. There has been lots of anger, upset, guilt, regret. But we are now in a good place. We communicate. And the intimacy between us is like it was many many years ago. I still hate his affair but I have moved past the blame and the anger stage. This takes me onto my question. I have reflected a lot of the last few years and I have done a lot of soul searching. Whilst I totally blame my other half for his affair, I have given a lot of thought to the role that I may have played. I did not want him sexually. I rejected him and made him feel unwanted and undesired. We were pretty much in a sexless relationship. What are peoples thoughts on affairs for sex in these sorts of situations? Is there ever any justification?