Drinking in the morning - everyone does it, right?

[fedup078]

Even when they have young kids?
Totally normal yes?

Well he's just told me to ask around. Don't fancy asking my friends so here we are
I'm being told this is totally normal and everyone does it, so why shouldn't he.

Alcoholism is a disease. I’m not saying you shouldn’t leave or whatever but he’s not drinking in the morning because it’s a laugh people.

My alcoholic father drank in the morning. No, it's not normal.

No. It messes you up for the rest of the day.

Maybe on a very special occasion such as a wedding/honeymoon. Otherwise it's usually only alkies that do that.

You need your in-laws to bring the kids back and take their son with them. Otherwise he'll use whatever delay tactics he can and he'll hide his drinking even more.
I often wondered why the kettle was cold when I got up in the morning. My DP got up earlier than me. Yep, he was drinking larger.

It was perfectly normal for my alcoholic father to drink from the moment he got up. Thankfully he's nearly one year sober, but he spent many many years drinking. It made a miserable life for me, my sister, but especially our mum. I wouldn't have blamed her if she left him. He's very lucky she never did and we're all much happier for him giving up the drink. It got to the point where he was hospitalised on deaths door. He's lucky to be alive. Do not let your partner down play it. It's not normal.

Growing up the child of an alcoholic is no joke. I am now teetotal and have been for 17 years because I could have ended up going the same road as my late dad. He died of booze, fags and depression after being unemployed for more than a decade. It was heartbreaking that he put drink ahead of us, his kids and his wife. My mum heroically kept the family going financially and emotionally but it took a terrible toll that reverberates on me and my brother to this day. I wish now looking back that I had been kinder to him and shown him more love, because he must have been incredibly unhappy but at the time it was so awful. Once we were driving through town and he collapsed on a zebra crossing in front of the car - it was 11am and he was jaundiced drunk. So horrible. Good luck OP.

[quote MNWorldisCrazy]@Aimee1987 Kenco do a box of latte sachets which have Baileys flavouring in them but without any alcohol - so so nice!! [/quote]
Ohh you may have made my weekend....heading of to edit my online shop now.

Christmas Day, at the airport going on holiday or weddings are acceptable times to drink before noon. Otherwise not! We usually have a glass of wine on Sunday lunchtimes or in the afternoon in the summer, but the smell of a used wine glass in the morning is truly something horrible!

My ex-partner drank from about 10 or 11am on a Saturday morning. No kids, so whenever he got up. This would usually be a can of Fosters which he used to tell me "didn't count" because it was "practically water". He wouldn't drink tea or coffee or water because he "didn't like the taste". Lots of gaslighting. I was boring and he absolutely, definitely "was not an alcoholic". My family and friends were delighted when we broke up.

Only Christmas morning.

It was for my alcoholic ex husband

Be absolutely firm, OP. He needs to go or you need to start living separately until you can sell the house. Tell his parents, don’t keep his dirty little secret.

And another one who might have had Bucks Fizz for breakfast at Christmas one time. Otherwise, god no, no booze before 6pm.

@TrixieMixie

Growing up the child of an alcoholic is no joke. I am now teetotal and have been for 17 years because I could have ended up going the same road as my late dad. He died of booze, fags and depression after being unemployed for more than a decade. It was heartbreaking that he put drink ahead of us, his kids and his wife. My mum heroically kept the family going financially and emotionally but it took a terrible toll that reverberates on me and my brother to this day. I wish now looking back that I had been kinder to him and shown him more love, because he must have been incredibly unhappy but at the time it was so awful. Once we were driving through town and he collapsed on a zebra crossing in front of the car - it was 11am and he was jaundiced drunk. So horrible. Good luck OP.

I'm so sorry about your Dad @TrixieMixie, it's a terrible illness.

Yes, I have a cup of tea when I get up

"Your friends are alcoholics if they are drinking alcohol regularly (weekly is regularly) before lunchtime"

I think this is honestly the silliest thing I have read on MN this week (and believe me there has been some competition).

a) saying they are 'alcoholics' is in itself daft - the term is outdated and meaningless.

b) to so CONFIDENTLY diagnose that these people are "alcoholics" because they have a drink before the witching hour of noon once a week?

Nuts.

Erm, no thats' not normal

Normal if you are an alcoholic.

I don't drink alcohol at all but when I did (1st 15 years of my adult life) I never drank in the morning.
My father who was borderline alcoholic didn't even drink in the morning.

Previous partner alcohol issues probably did drink in the morning yes.

Sorry op

Ex-dp was like this. He didn’t drink in the morning but he drank every night, usually starting at the pub then coming home for more. He’d pick up booze from an off-licence on his way home and would often bring wine for me which I hadn’t asked for in an attempt to make his own drinking look “normal”.

Leaving him was the best thing I ever did.

Unless we’re out for lunch, or have friends round for lunch, not until the sun’s over the yard arm. Which = after 6 pm in this house.

Plus of course Buck’s Fizz any time after about 10 am on Christmas Day.🥂

Not normal - what was he drinking and what does he drink in your presence?
Yes children of alcoholics do not fare well in life.
He’s minimising and lying.
You cannot control this and it’s not your responsibility to fix.

My parents are alcoholics, but even they don't drink in the morning.

There's no way the wine you can see is the extent of it if you could tell he was half-cut by 9.30am the other week. There might well be something else he's drinking secretly. If he crashes out later, I'd have a hunt. Not that you need "evidence" for your sake, but it might help to persuade him to leave if some of his lying is exposed. I'm a recovering alcoholic btw. Here's some places to try where I used to hide vodka bottles. I feel the shame and disgust coming back just writing it, but 6 years ago now I used to hide them:

In sports bags under the bed; the gap under the bath behind the plastic enclosure; in an old mouthwash bottle in the bathroom cabinet; inside shoes in the wardrobe; the back of cupboard under the stairs, bottom of clothes drawers; under old blankets, coats, etc....

I agree with the poster who said about getting his family to come and get him if you can to stay with them. Obviously totally depends on his relationship with them and how you feel about it.

You know this already, but there's no helping him until/unless he realises he needs the help.

Odd occasion like others said - Christmas etc ive done it but more than that nope killed my Father and in a very horrible way that’s left me with nightmares.