Dating Thread 200 - Spring is in the Air, Ghosters Beware

[cravingthelook]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

I know I've no idea what I was thinking

@BLTLover you shouldn't just have thought 'WTF?', you should have torn 10,000 strips off him for violating his DD by sending a naked video of her to a stranger.

You've had a lucky escape, not sure she has

Not dating related but I get my covid jab tomorrow 😊

Cried down the phone to @cravingthelook earlier. Crap day at work and feeling stuck and that I can't progress in the events sector. I feel like giving up but that's not me. I need to reasses, make some minor CV tweaks and keep on hoping.

I did tell him it was inappropriate. I should have blocked then. I do think now that poor child.

Thanks @dropthedeadhorse - hopefully we'll all find what we want and we do support each other.... including the few guys that join in here too.

Am I ok to interrupt ?
I was briefly on this thread just over a year ago - aged 51 and on every dating site going .....Oh I encountered them all ! (Mr 5ft2,Mr Paranoid,Mr Player,Mr Kinky,Mr Married) I also met some lovely men and had some very pleasant evenings (and a few naughty ones) At times my self esteem was in shatters and at others it was like having a part time job (all that messaging ).It did give me a few funny stories to tell !
To cut a long story short (and after 58 dates) I met my Mr Right 12 months ago...
We'bubbled' over lockdown and due to the current covid situation things moved forward quite quickly (although its still a LDR) ...
He's absolutely wonderfully perfect (well maybe a little untidy) but makes me very happy !
Please don't give up or feel you are 'passed it '...yes OLD is hard work at times but there is hope ....

Good Luck !

Is anyone dating in Liverpool? I wonder if weve ever spoken to the same men

Hello peeps, paid for tinder gold for 1 month out of noseyness. 1200 likes, none i fancy. The moral, dont waste your money!!!

Hi can I join? I’m OLD on Bumble & Tinder. Just had to block a way too intense guy, Mr Audi who I actually quite liked! I’d met him once and over 2 weeks regular messaging. But I was suspecting he was starting to love bomb me :( I’ve been out of an abusive relationship with a narcissist for a year and wary. Anyway it’s hard as I now find it difficult to differentiate between a guy being kind & enthusiastic and a love bomber - but I told him that 10 days in it was getting a bit much (he’d already mentioned engagement ring/trip away etc!). I’ve ended up telling him to do one after he woke me up at 4.30 in the morning by sending me 17 pages of screenshots of our Bumble chat to my WhatsApp. Phone was muted but all the buzzing woke me up! Bloody creep!
I have a date on Thursday with another iron Mr Design, who I really fancy, and a phone chat tomorrow with another, Mr Casino who I’m not sure about as he’s been in & out of relationships since divorcing in 2008.

58 dates. Hmm. How many did Mr Right need to meet you, out of interest @Rejectthetossers ?

58 dates!!! There's not even 58 men where I live 😆

Sad thing is I've probably come close to 58 in the last year and a half.... no signs of a good match

Still on 'no messaging' Mexican standoff with Mr HT

@HairyArsedMan

58 dates. Hmm. How many did Mr Right need to meet you, out of interest *@Rejectthetossers* ?

I think it was ..... about 5 or 6 .

I was OLD for about a year -He had only been doing it for a few weeks and didn't take it quite as seriously .

Why do you ask ?

@bangheadhere40

58 dates!!! There's not even 58 men where I live 😆

I had to keep widening my area...

@Rejectthetossers
I had to keep widening my area...
My favourite quote in a while on here

@Rejectthetossers I ask because I'm approaching a similar number of dates and coming to the conclusion that If I'm not the solution, then I must be the problem

I'm probably not that far off that number of dates in the last 18ish months, and I have had similar thoughts to you too @HairyArsedMan

I pay for the apps, as I'm impatient and also have had better results getting likes when I boost my profile at certain times. The thought of buying a lifetime subscription really depresses me, but actually it probably would have been cheaper in the long run given how much I've spent so far on there.

I paid to see my 100ish likes on Tinder the other day, and also did a few boosts which have got me quite a few more likes, and it saves so much swiping if I can see the people who have liked me.

It's interesting to see the comment earlier that a guy paying for membership would put them off - I find it's the opposite way round for me, I assume a woman is taking it more seriously and wants to meet someone for a relationship if she pays for a subscription, rather than just dipping her toe in to see what's out there in the vast swamp that is OLD.

I probably spent a bit too much time on the apps over the weekend, and now have 30 matches on Tinder - of which about 10 replied to my initial message, and I was chatting to 5 or so over the weekend. Those have pretty much all gone quiet now, although I do have a date arranged for Wednesday, and a couple of possibles for the weekend.

I've had a few chats on Hinge over the weekend, of which one seems keen to meet, and I think another may want to as well. Bumble has been rubbish - 2 matches sent me "hey" messages, and neither have replied to my slightly more thoughtful and in-depth replies.

And finally one match on OKCupid who I seemed to get on really well with over the weekend, but I've not heard anything back since Saturday so it seems like another ghosting. It's always the ones I like the look of the most who disappear after a couple of messages :(

Widening my area made me nearly choke on my coffee.Brilliant 😄

No widening of areas for me,just a few chats on tinder that fizzle out,mainly as they're over 20 miles away and I'm hoping a miracle happens and someone local pops up.Who I also find attractive and they like me.

I did get chatting to a guy in the village take away and he said he has an allotment in the village so I may have a nose down there,especially as planting time must be soon 😃 Also the local fb page has a churchyard tidy up day,so I have offered.maybe some nice single men mowing and strimming?!

@TheCatWithTheHat I agree with you, I see someone that paid is taking it a bit more seriously.

So Mr Plumber is back. He is saying he was ill and a total knob and he likes me. He asked me if I was seeing anyone and said I have 2 FWB (SAS and HT). He said but honestly are you looking for a bf? I said of sorts yes.
He said he's fed up with all the dating and looking for a gf. He said I have my pick and he just wants to see me again.
I told him I'm cautious about even meeting him again.
I told him I'll let him know when I'm free at the weekend.
I really just want to see Mr HT

WTF is wrong with me

I think I have only been on about 20 first dates in the last 2 years.
Most of my chats don't convert to dates. A good 99% of them just fizzle out.
I really struggle with converting a chat to a meet. I don't mind asking if they want to meet for a drink etc so it's not as if I always leave it up to the potential to suggest meeting.

I have already widened my area, my radius is rather large. It doesn't seem to help though...as you need to find someone with an equally large radius.

@Dancerinthemoonlight

I’m similar numbers. I think with chats that they aren’t really taken that seriously

or often people have one chat iron they’re really keen on meeting and the rest are just making up the numbers a bit?

I find often the guys who have been really smooth and really determined to keep chatting/meet ASAP are motivated by sex not dating.

Tbf I know I’ve just left chats I don’t think it’s really that significant until you meet in person (and even then it takes time to see if there’s something real there).

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not meeting someone for a while, or not having many dates for a while.

I've been on 9 dates in 3 years, one become a fwb for a year, the other i dated for 6 months.

So WTF is wrong with me?

Other than the obvious trauma that I'm getting therapy for.

I had 6 first dates last year in 5 months July-Nov, 3 progressed further incl Mr TG currently 4 months.
Spoke to loads more, mainly weirdos 😁