He is as close to ideal as I've ever met. I've only known him for a short time really, but he's the real deal. I have trusted friends who have vouched for him. He's NOT a love bomber. Not one red flag. Not even a baby pink one. He is honest, caring, upstanding, attentive, he goes out of his way to make me feel special and to make time for me. He tells me my ex is "fucking stupid" and "must have been on crack" to let me go. He has turned down other dates / women for various incompatibility reasons but calls me a unicorn because I'm "impossible to find". I'm beautiful, fantastic, unique. He turned down various affair offers throughout his entire marriage despite it being rocky because it "wouldn't be right" (I know that should be a given but let's face it... is it fuck). He tells me he would be so proud to be with me, he hates seeing me upset. He wants to commit to me and give me everything I "deserve". He accepts all the faults I've pre-warned him about! He's listed about 10 different places he wants to take me to when the world reopens from an amusement park to Norway. He makes me laugh until I'm crying. We have similar humour, interests and outlooks, we both want a simple and non dramatic life. To have fun. He has an impressive, rewarding career. He is in great shape, he has a nice face. A lot of the things I prefer such as light stubble, brown eyes, good teeth. No baggage. He has the emotional intelligence a lot of men are completely incapable of understanding. I like kissing him, he's good in the sack (before lockdown... we'd had a few 🍷). Not clingy. Not possessive.
I don't "unfancy" him... but I don't fancy him. I don't look at him and think "I'm so jealous at the thought of you with anyone else". I care about him. But as far as sexual attraction goes I just think "meh". It's fucking shit. If I could fall for him I could finally be happy after years of one horrendous heartbreak after another from wankers who didn't give enough of a shit about me. Personality is 80% but it's not everything, you need the physical spark as well. Yes there's an option to settle but I don't think I could for very long, it just wouldn't be enough without the other part plus he deserves better than that. Someone who is really in love with him. I couldn't lie to him like that or fake passion. Why is it so utterly impossible to find that 50/50 connection? It's so annoying!! If I could press a magic button I would 😒