Failed date asked for his scarf back... two months later?

[dothem]

I was dating a guy back in November, things were going well I thought, but then I realised he was putting zero effort in. I was given his scarf one day but completely forgot to give it back so I rang to tell him, he didn't pick up. So I text to say "hey sorry I have your scarf", he ignored it.
Then he cancelled our date last minute saying he was too busy, and made no effort to reschedule. So I decided to bin him. Why spend time with someone who won't put any effort in for you?

Then two months after me texting to say I didn't want to see him again, and receiving a huge wall of text in response, he text again "Hey do you have my scarf still?". Now I know I should probably have posted it back, back then, but it's a bit random to ask now. I know it's not a point, but this guy was always tight fisted with money (split the bill on what we've eaten kinda thing), which I completely get, but when you realise his holiday home is worth £5mil, you get the picture that he is wealthy..

I'm thinking of ignoring the text, and just sending the scarf back to his flat in London. I think he's probably at home with his family, but that's not my issue is it?

Oh, like he did? Dignity is so last yah

It's not a race to the bottom. No need to behave like a twat just because you think someone else did.

Hold your head high???

Wait til you ignored by many online dates and then see if you would be willing to bother with all that nonsense.

Ignoring someone isn't behaving like a twat. It's moving on and not wanting to engage

I meant ignoring someone who has messed you around

Unless it's big enough to wind 8 times round both of you & a passing elephant, it'd go in a Jiffy bag, surely. Stick on a couple of stamps & shove it in the post box.

I'm not sure I'd even block him, unless he then started being a pest about something else.

He doesn't seem to have actually done anything wrong except that the two of you dated for a bit then decided it wasn't working.

I'd see no reason not to be perfectly pleasant to him.

& then if he starts trying to reel you back in then you block him. No drama or bum wiping on scarves required!

Are you the protagonist from Taylor Swift's "All Too Well"? 🧐

@Silenceisgolden20

Hold your head high???

Wait til you ignored by many online dates and then see if you would be willing to bother with all that nonsense.

Who says I haven’t been? You have no idea what my dating experiences are. Regardless, I pride myself on my behaviour, and in being dignified and reasonable. Someone else acting badly isn’t a reason for me to drop my standards.

Look, the guy didn't like the OP very much. Didn't fancy her maybe. Perhaps he thought her boring. Perhaps she had bad breath, I don't know! So he didn't put effort in and let it fizzle. He didn't behave badly, from what she said.

The scarf is his property. I would think she was a complete and utter lunatic if she didn't behave in a normal dignified way and send it back.

Like half of you on here. Are you for real? Are you all so perfect that no guy would ever dump you and ask for his stuff back??

Again, i don' think not engaging with him is dropping standards. It's moving on and not bothering.

Gosh how to over think something, 50% of replies think they are script writers for EastEnders or something!
I guarantee that the main loser from any perceived mind games will be the op, get away from the drama and send it back.
Having the last word through shitting on someone's scarf really is the worst suggestion I've seen on here so i hope for that person's sake it was a joke.

@sammylady37

*sammylady37 Gosh some of you are so petty, spiteful and immature.

It’s his scarf. Send it back to him. Behave with dignity and class.
Oh, like he did? Dignity is so last yah*

No, but irrespective of how he behaved, the op can and should act with dignity. Him having behaved badly doesn’t mean it’s ok for her to do so, and her doing so would only make her as bad as him- presumably she aims for higher standards for her own behaviour.

In general I treat people how I would like to be treated. I like to know I can hold my head up high and haven’t resorted to frankly petty and stupid behaviour.

Life is far too short to be getting this het up about a scarf luv xo

@Silenceisgolden20

Again, i don' think not engaging with him is dropping standards. It's moving on and not bothering.

It’s also holding onto property that isn’t hers and refusing to return it to its rightful owner

Reply, sorry it's taken me a while to respond I was trying to figure out what scarf then I remembered, if that's you ??, sorry I've mislaid it and no idea where it is, I vaguely recall thinking I'd post it back but I'm not sure if I did. Then block!

Property I'm sure he can live without and put down to experience.
I really won't put myself out there for someone who ignored me for 2 months
And my standards are fine.

But hey if you would, you would.
Let the Op decide herself.

Maybe she could tell him he can collect it somewhere. (Not her home address)

Ask him for his address and send it back.

No need for any further drama.

@Silenceisgolden20

Property I'm sure he can live without and put down to experience. I really won't put myself out there for someone who ignored me for 2 months And my standards are fine.

But hey if you would, you would.
Let the Op decide herself.

Well, he’s asked for it back. So he clearly wants it back.

Would you expect him to keep contacting her after she dumped him? She texted him saying she wanted to finish it, he replied and they’ve had no contact since- why would they?? If he’d kept texting her, people would be calling him an unhinged stalker who couldn’t accept being dumped. It’s not like there wasn’t a line drawn in the sand after their brief dating spell, so it’s not like he’s been ghosting her for the last two months.

And the op asked for opinions, so I’m giving her mine. Clearly, she will decide for herself, she is a competent adult.

Is just post it and message him to say is done it. Then I'd block

Would people really pretend they couldn't remember it after 2 months? What bullshit 🙄

@EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall

Is just post it and message him to say is done it. Then I'd block

Would people really pretend they couldn't remember it after 2 months? What bullshit 🙄

They clearly don’t realise that doing so will show themselves up as being not over the perceived hurt from 2 months ago. The more casual and cavalier they appear to be, the more clearly contrived it obviously is, a mere 2 months later. Different story if it were 2 years later!

Christ, people are just having a bit of fun with some of the responses on here, people need to chill out a bit. I'm sure OP is sensible enough not to wipe her arse with the scarf and get him to purchase it back from Ebay plus p&p. Blimey.

Dont know you keep replying to me Sammy.
You're the one making a lot of assumptions bringing standards into it.

I dont care what she does

Tell him you will leave it on your doorstep tomorrow for him to collect.

What??? Ignore the text and bin the scarf 🤣🤣

@Silenceisgolden20

Dont know you keep replying to me Sammy. You're the one making a lot of assumptions bringing standards into it.

I dont care what she does

Because you’re replying to me/the comments I’ve made...