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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Failed date asked for his scarf back... two months later?

137 replies

dothem · 02/02/2021 09:36

I was dating a guy back in November, things were going well I thought, but then I realised he was putting zero effort in. I was given his scarf one day but completely forgot to give it back so I rang to tell him, he didn't pick up. So I text to say "hey sorry I have your scarf", he ignored it.
Then he cancelled our date last minute saying he was too busy, and made no effort to reschedule. So I decided to bin him. Why spend time with someone who won't put any effort in for you?

Then two months after me texting to say I didn't want to see him again, and receiving a huge wall of text in response, he text again "Hey do you have my scarf still?". Now I know I should probably have posted it back, back then, but it's a bit random to ask now. I know it's not a point, but this guy was always tight fisted with money (split the bill on what we've eaten kinda thing), which I completely get, but when you realise his holiday home is worth £5mil, you get the picture that he is wealthy..

I'm thinking of ignoring the text, and just sending the scarf back to his flat in London. I think he's probably at home with his family, but that's not my issue is it?

OP posts:
Marineboy67 · 02/02/2021 12:42

Dizzy 1234 you beat me to itGrin

Ianar · 02/02/2021 12:44

"I was given his scarf one day" = he lent you his scarf one day?

If so then you should return at your own expense. It was your responsibility to remember to give it back.

His wealth and anything else is irrevalant. It's his property.

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 02/02/2021 12:49

Just post it back after all it is property.
You finished it not him and although he might been tight and not a good fit for you he didn't do anything outrageous

MorbidPodcastFan · 02/02/2021 12:49

List the scarf on ebay and then send him a link.

That way he can pay postage (plus whatever else to make up for your troubles).

Win win for you Grin

Bettina500 · 02/02/2021 12:52

I assume he knows your address so I would just leave it outside somewhere and say it's there for whenever he wants to collect it. No further communication needed

majesticallyawkward · 02/02/2021 12:54

Post it with no postage, or send him a link to parcel2go so he can arrange for it to be collected at your convenience.

Out of pettiness I'd refuse to post it at my own expense.

MrsVogon · 02/02/2021 12:57

Block and bin the scarf.

MaMaD1990 · 02/02/2021 12:57

I'd say "sorry, after you didn't reply to me I decided to sell it. You can buy it back from Ebay plus the cost of postage?" 😉

Winterpaw · 02/02/2021 13:00

@Ianar

"I was given his scarf one day" = he lent you his scarf one day?

If so then you should return at your own expense. It was your responsibility to remember to give it back.

His wealth and anything else is irrevalant. It's his property.

And OPs contact details are her probate property. He had the chance to get the scarf back. He shouldn't be randomly contacting her now.

Block him and get rid of the damn scarf OP if you haven't already done so.

honeysuckle21 · 02/02/2021 13:00

Send it back no stamps

HighSpecWhistle · 02/02/2021 13:00

Text back asking him to transfer you £3.30 for the postage 😂

LApprentiSorcier · 02/02/2021 13:00

Sew a couple of prawns under the hems, and post it back.

Eckhart · 02/02/2021 13:04

There is no drama or confusion to be had here. Send him his scarf. The end.

gannett · 02/02/2021 13:07

There are some very weird posters on here

Derekhello · 02/02/2021 13:10

@Gatekeeper

Post it back without any stamps on
😂 🤣
Regularsizedrudy · 02/02/2021 13:11

I’m sure he will manage without a scarf. Bin it and block him.

cameocat · 02/02/2021 13:11

If you don't want to post it donate to someone in need and just reply nope.

Taylrse · 02/02/2021 13:15

Probably an excuse to start chatting to you again.
I wouldn't give it back now.

category12 · 02/02/2021 13:17

If you know his address, just post it back. Don't respond to his text tho.

cushioncovers · 02/02/2021 13:19

He's probably got someone else he wants to 'lend it' to. Tell him you given to a charity shop.

HollowTalk · 02/02/2021 13:19

This isn't a man who's harmed you, is it? You borrowed something. Send it back, ffs. With stamps on. Send a polite message telling him you've sent it and if he sees this as a way back in, block him then.

PhillipPhillop · 02/02/2021 13:21

Crikey what's with all the spitefulness. Just post it and then block. As someone else said, if you don't return it then he has a reason to keep in touch.

SoupDragon · 02/02/2021 13:23

He's probably got someone else he wants to 'lend it' to

Or it's got really cold and he's realised he didn't get his scarf back.

gannett · 02/02/2021 13:25

@Dizzy1234

Wipe your bum on it then post it back with no stamps on it 😁
In a thread disturbingly full of borderline psychopathic suggestions this is actually the worst
Gobbolinothewitchscat · 02/02/2021 13:31

Just give it back - why would you even want it in the house?! Rather than having to go through the whole todo of addresses/postage etc, say you will leave it outside in a plastic bag at 10am this Saturday and wrap it up well so he cant say you left it to get wet. Take a photo where it is and send it to him on the day and say it is ready.

Then block and ignore him

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