Possibly being ghosted and I cannot deal.

[anononame]

To preface: my reaction to the situation is highly disproportionate and I'm aware of that, but there's nothing I can do about how I feel and I need tips on how to proceed.

I started talking to someone online 6 days ago and we spoke everyday throughout the day, even when he was at work. Yesterday he didn't reply, and it's nearing the end of today and he still hasn't replied. We got along REALLY well and I know for a fact that he actually liked talking to me, but our humour style was based on mocking each other and I think I may have taken it too far. It's very rare for me to come across someone I really like and now I feel like I've ruined it for myself. It's making me anxious/miserable to the point where I've lost my appetite. I honestly can't deal.

I'm aware there are many reasons he may not be responding, but I really feel like I may have hurt his feelings, and if that is the case, I just want to apologise. My only consolation is that I'm 100% certain he liked talking to me and hasn't unmatched me. My current plan is to wait 3 days in total, and then just ask if he's ok. If I did hurt his feelings, or something else happened, that gives him the opportunity to say it, and also see that I like talking to him. If someone hurt my feelings, I would prefer for them to notice and ask me, rather than wait for me to tell them that they said something wrong.

Rejection is one thing, but leaving something unresolved when it may have been your fault is something I can't do, so at the very least I want to try. I'm not just being in denial about being rejected, it's the not knowing what's happening. I just want to know if my current plan is ok?

it was just an over-cap of when this type of reaction started and my childhood, i already know where it all stems from tbf but i guess logic doesn’t always displace emotion + she said what she does is get rid of the emotional reaction so yeah should good. thanks!

@anononame

it was just an over-cap of when this type of reaction started and my childhood, i already know where it all stems from tbf but i guess logic doesn’t always displace emotion + she said what she does is get rid of the emotional reaction so yeah should good. thanks!

Sounds like she might be suggesting CBT which is a really great fit for you I think. I hope it helps for the future, stick with it!

The OP is mid 20’s. She’s talking to a man she likes. Of course she’s going to be happy when he responds, have you all forgotten the butterflies of the early days of relationships. For fucks sake!

But she’s never actually met him! It could be me, it could be Philip Schofield, it could be my 16yo teenage neighbour. He/she/it is not a ‘man she likes’ until they’ve actually sighted each other!

Not being awful but you come across as extremely needy and he has probably sensed this and decided he doesn’t want to take things any further

Good you had the therapy session. It’ll probably be nice to back off OLD for a bit while you get the sessions in. Being clingy is unattractive but sadly that’s an attribute of the AP attachment style. Working on it will help you a great deal- if nothing else at least not chasing the men you’re interested in away and ending up in a depressed state when you haven’t heard back from someone you’ve never met!