Not sure what to do

[Troisfoisfilles]

So... sorry for this long one
I will give you some background...

Have been in a relationship for about 18 months. I love him a lot but not feeling like it’s reciprocated and think I need to give up.
I have 3 kids from previous relationship and he has 2 kids from 2 previous relationships. We don’t live together- I moved in with my parents a few years ago to save for a deposit and because my mum does the childcare while I work and he has 2 lodgers living in his house. I go to his every night after I put the kids to bed and we eat dinner together and spend the night together. I either then go straight to work or (at weekends) I go straight home. We never spend the day together ever!
I’ve never met anyone in his life- apart from his mum and that wasn’t until august this year. She seemed shocked that I even existed so obviously hadn’t known about me for long before that!
I’ve never met his friends or kids and I’m pretty sure they don’t even know about me. His status on Facebook is ‘single’ which really upsets me. I don’t have Facebook so he obviously can’t put ‘in a relationship with’ but couldn’t he just leave it blank???
There are no photos of me and him or just me on any of his social media sites. It’s like I don’t exist at all in his life apart from 7pm-8am!
Oh and last summer, I found out he was planning to cheat on me with another woman. The next day when he was at work, I left him a note, left his house keys on his table and walked out. Over the next few days he begged and begged and promised me it would never happen again and he’d do anything to get me back. I asked him to actually tell people about me and I wanted to meet family and friends. He agreed but still nothing (apart from his mum). I understand it’s difficult at the minute because of Covid but surely just to tell people he is with someone?!
He’s going round a friends tonight to have a drink with them for the friends birthday. I obviously wasn’t invited but I’m picking him up after. Yes I have told him he shouldn’t be doing it because of Covid but he says it won’t hurt and he hasn’t been out for ever for drinks (what about the rest of us??!).
And the final thing to really upset me... he has a rare day off tomorrow (he runs a business and works all the time) and he’s spending it taking one of his female employees 45 miles away to pick up a wall unit that she’s bought off Facebook and can’t get herself as she doesn’t drive!!

Well done if you got this far!

Any suggestions of what I should do about all of this? I’m really depressed and not happy with how things are going but I’m worried whether I’ll regret leaving him!

Bin

Bin asap. He’s using you.

Bin him. You're a nightly booty call, not a girlfriend.

And don't pick him up tonight, fgs.

Get rid! You’re being used!

What do you get out of this relationship now?.

Bin him off.

You need to raise your relationship bar a lot higher going forward, ask yourself why you have put up with this from this man to date. Counselling for your own self would be worth considering too.

And do not pick him up this evening either!.

Bin! Don't run around after him or answer his late night calls
You haven't met his friends as he's still keeping his options open.

Get rid - can’t believe you’re leaving your kids with your mum every night to stay at his for a start. You’re not in a relationship he’s just shagging you and using you!

Thank God you don't live with him. I was also kept a secret from an exs family, not a nice feeling.

That’s what I thought- he’s just keeping his options open. I’m not all that pretty which I think is the reason he won’t tell anyone about me. He’s waiting for someone prettier to come along.
But he’s also making plans for our future. I’m planning on moving to France over the next 5 years and he’s saying he’s coming too. He’s working hard now to save enough money to do so. And he even said the other night ‘my wife to be in the future’.
Just very confused!

Wow- that hurt a little.
My kids go to bed at 7 every night. Then I leave. I never leave them while they’re awake- apart from to go to work!
They never ever wake up at night so my mum never actually needs to do anything for them. I still cook all 3 of their meals everyday (apart from when they were going to school) and I’m still homeschooling all 3 of them while teaching my own lessons online everyday.
They are not being neglected in any way shape or form because I’m going to my boyfriends every night 😟

Dump him.
Do not pick him up later-he is using you for sex and lifts and anything else you do-do you cook the evening meal you eat together? Buy the food?
He doesn’t respect you. You don’t trust him or your relationship.
The hills ===>>>

I don't think the previous poster meant you were neglecting your children.

Here is another scenario, what if one of your children became ill during the night? What about if your mum became unwell?

Honestly and I really mean this kindly, put you and your children first before this man. He has no intention of you and him becoming permanent. He's using you as a leg over and telling you stuff to keep you there. His "work colleague" may well be his next intended target. Please get some self respect and dump this useless article.

Don't do yourself down OP. He's a user - that isn't your fault.

He's dangling the 'future' in front of your nose just to keep you sweet. How could life be any easier for him at the moment? He makes no effort at all, you turn up every night and go again in the morning. The rest of the time he does exactly as he likes.

Including breaking lockdown regulations.

Don't pick him up tonight. Have an evening in with your mum, and have a long chat with her - and listen to what she says.

By breaking lockdown, he is putting you, your children and your mother's health at risk.

Stop warming his bed for him and dump him.

So who does his friend think is picking him up tonight? I wouldn’t pick him up! How many other people will be there? And I definitely wouldn’t be going round to his house every night to sleep with him either!!

I'm sure I you posted about this before and were told the same then?

What you tolerate in the beginning of a relationship sets the stage for the rest of it.

Cheating, lies, feeling he's ashamed to be seen with you - it's not a great basis, now, is it?

Hes taking the piss, not even hiding it and you're letting him.

Get rid he's a user. He doesn't want to be with you, your just convenient at this point in his life. He's an idiot and the fact he's flouting the rules like that infuriates me. Your a mug for picking him up after aswell then going home to your mum and kids!

You are way way down his list of priorities..
Get yourself some self respect and bin him tonight...

No I didn’t mean you’re neglecting them but you’re picking someone who treats you like crap over your kids - I can’t understand why you’d not want to be in the same house as them every night - maybe part of the week but not all. And if you have three they will be at different ages and I really can’t imagine they’re completely unaware of the fact you’re not there each night. You are worth way more than this. How would this work in the long term alongside yours kids needs? It wouldn’t.

You're a place holder until someone better comes along. Talking crap about moving to France with you is him future-faking to keep you dangling. Please toss this loser.

Your poor mum. Left with the kids all night and doing childcare when your in work. She must be knackered. Your being very selfish. Even if the kids dont wake up at night I always have a feeling of being 'on' just incase. Stay at home with your kids at least some of the nights.