What's the worst thing your parents have said to you?

[again2020]

Posting on here for solidarity and to prevent me from venting to anyone in real life.

I've been offered 4 days at work from September, up from my usual 3. My parents used to do a bit of childcare before my daughter went to nursery. I broached the subject with them today about childcare 1 day a week (support bubble) and my dad had a huge rant and lost his temper with me, saying he finds DD hard work and he doesn't enjoy seeing his children or grandchildren and he doesn't have many years left to do what he wants (he's 71). Fair enough, a bit upsetting but I know not everyone wants to be childcare for their grandkids.

He later came and said his children (me and DB) have been a huge disappointment and he wouldn't recommend being a parent to anyone.

So as not to drip feed, DB is a recovering addict. He's getting a lot better though. I'm in a difficult relationship and am on antidepressants. But I don't think we've been terrible children or become terrible people. I'm sat on my own upset waiting for DD to finish playing with my mum and I don't plan on coming back to see them anytime soon.

Handhold, anyone? What's the worst thing a parent has said to you?

Oh, just read some more of the thread...sorry your father is like that OP. Guess you're not likely to get an apology then. Some absolutely vile examples on here. Maybe the people who don't understand why some of us have resorted to NC with parents would understand if they read this!

It's so sad reading all these posts, but in a strange way comforting too. I've pretended all my life to friends / colleagues that I have the perfect parents. I've never really spoken out about it. Sometimes when I'm in bed, I relive all the horrible things she said to me.

What hurts me the most is, now my mother behaves like we're best friends. But she will still throw the odd comment in to remind me I'm way below than many others in my family. Makes me feel like a huge failure.

@2021hastobebetter

I can empathise re your DM's behaviour. My DM is like that about our childhood memories. She bursts into tears if we ever bring it up. She didn't know about the SA and is devastated about it, understandably, and admittedly she's 81 now, but it smacks of self-pity a lot of the time. So we just don't talk about it.

To clarify, my F died many years ago, so we really are just talking about the past.

Being accused of attention seeking (I wasnt, I was quite shy), weird, and being just like a morbidly obese aunt who had no friends or job, and was very socially awkward. Also my mother repeating anything personal I said or she found out for gossip or laughs. They're not bad people but I feel really mad at them sometimes. 'Thick' or 'a dirty bitch' were probably the nastiest

Oh mine is, being 14 months younger than my older sister "you were a mistake" said many times abs when I lost my virginity and stupidly told her "you're a slag".

We had to sacrifice your happiness for your sister's, and we think we made the right decision.

Overheard my parents talking about me saying it wouldn't be long before I came home from school pregnant. I was around twelve. Didn't have a boyfriend until I was nineteen. My DM had two children by the time she was fifteen, both accidents. Projection much!

Called me "a little parasite" and "you don't really love me, it's just cupboard love."

I was only 7 at the time, so have no idea how DM expected me to pay my way 🤷‍♀️

That was by no means the only nasty thing she's said, but it's certainly stuck with me over the years. To this day she's the last person I'd ever ask for help. It's sad to feel that your own mother doesn't have your back.

I wouldn’t event know where to begin - I humiliated her socially as a child and teen so she’d pinch backs of my arms until they bruised, calling me a big fat elephant (I’d gone from a size 10-12) for wearing baggy clothes as was 90s fashion, calling me a prude and a bore for not drinking alcohol with her underage, telling anyone who’d listen how ashamed she was of me at her 40th birthday party because I was an imperfect daughter, when I was suicidal taking up my entire psychiatrists appointment trying to get me to see how she felt about that and how selfish I was for feeling that way... these are only some of the things she did. But she’s an upstanding member of her community and influential politically and ‘so lovely, and how lucky I am to have such a lovely mum’ - I don’t know why so many people always told me this and still do - I’m now in my 40s ffs

I had a Eating disorder and was v depressed So my mum gave me a knife and told me to just cut my wrist and kill myself if it's that bad.

Parents and people can be v cruel sadly

Wow....just wow. I have no words to the posts I have just caught up with, cannot understand why any parents would act in these despicable ways. Does not really need saying but it is a triumph of your parenting that all your children will grow up in loving, supportive families, the complete opposite to how you were all bought up. Virtual hugs for all of you, you have all been through such a lot, living with such venom, and hideous, miserable nastiness.

I forgive my (usually lovely) DM for this, it was just the shock I think but I'll never forget it. I told her aged 16 that I'd been raped when I was 13 and she replied 'oh don't be stupid of course you weren't'. I think she just couldn't comprehend that that could have happened and she knew nothing about it, there was a lot she didn't know sadly.

Many many things, from the day I was kicked out at 15. The last thing my parents said to me before I went no contact was that I was such a disappointment, I had wasted my education and they were horrified at my new career choice.

Oh actually no, the worst thing was probably (after leaving an abusive relationship of ten years) that she could understand why he battered me.

My mum called me a coconut at 8, my dad always told me I'm disgusting

"Your father wanted me to abort you" .... Thanks for letting me know mum.

@Wowwellokthen

"Your father wanted me to abort you" .... Thanks for letting me know mum.

My father regularly told me when I was still a child that he had stopped my mother aborting me. This made me especially angry as she was dead so I have no idea of this is true or not. I struggle to believe it as they were married, financially comfortable and settled and had another child after me.

When , as a teenager, I had self harmed and my mum growled at me that she wished she had the guts to finish me off

There's been a few for me :

You're not that beautiful

Go to that party, you might actually meet someone, do something with your life!

These are throw away comments in a sea of support, but it's odd what you remember.

That I was being dramatic after I told them I wasn't ok and was struggling following the suicide of my best friend and discovery of my dc life threatening condition.

Jesus Christ, this is why people should be vetted before they have kids! Some of the responses on here are so awful
My mum and stepdad had a violent relationship for about 10 years, which culminated in her stabbing him in the back when I was 21. I made her phone the police/ ambulance while i had a look at his wounds, he kept saying not to and that he wanted to go to bed. I don't even think he realised what had happened as they were both drunk. It turned out his injuries weren't that bad, but I obviously didn't know that at the time. A few months later I overheard her on the phone to him saying it was my fault she got arrested and nearly went to prison because I made her phone the police. Then she called me a pushover saying I wouldn't say anything if he moved back in with us. I was in uni at the time, I had come home for the weekend and ended up staying for a week as my mum wasn't allowed back in the town let alone the house, so me and my sister had to get all of her stuff. A week after she did it one of my best friends died and i had to go back to uni 2 days later.

I asked my mum if i was pretty when i was about 12.. she couldnt just say yes. She ssid "nobody's looking at you". I feel ugly sometimes and pretty sometimes. No idea what i really am. But sure, nobody's looking at me!

My mum called me a slut, a whore quite a few times when I was growing up.
I had a miscarriage & she told me. I needed to get over it & move on, it had only been a week.

I can’t even write it down, it’s so awful what my mother said to me, most of it when I was an adult.