I didn't consent to this **MNHQ content warning**

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I've been going over this for a few days now and I'm still feeling very uneasy. Me and my partner have been together 3 years, but do not live together. I've been on antibiotics and so had told me partner (support bubbled before anyone jumps down my throat) that we needed to use a condom (which he dislikes) as the antibiotics could stop the cough pill working. Sorry for TMI but he said he would put one on in a min and inserted himself into me. He didn't really give me a chance to say no and stupidly I let him go with it for a couple of minutes, I then said to him, please stop and put one on, he ignores me carried on for another 10 seconds and came and said it was my fault as my voice is sexy. I feel so angry at myself for letting him even start sex with no condom and even angrier at him for not listening to my wishes. I feel so upset that he thinks this is ok and doesn't respect my wishes. I've told him how angry I am and haven't seen him since Sunday (this happened Saturday evening). I've taken the morning after pill.

I'm so sorry OP. I think you know in your gut what this means.

It wasn't your fault. Please don't blame yourself.

Dump him immediately.

And send him a couple of links making it clear that what he did was rape.

I hope you’ve barred him.

Yes I agree with the other posters.
I doubt this is the first time he has done this with a woman and it won't be the last.

That’s revolting. You need to leave him.

Let's be clear. You said Stop. He didn't.

Get rid of the rapey creep.

Your fault because your voice is sexy? I've fucking heard it all now. I'm sorry you have gone through with this. It's NOT your fault.

Contraceptive pill not cough pill*
I keep googling things but as I let him start sex without a condom I don't think he sees that he is wrong. Even though I was uneasy about it. I should have spoken up more. I'm such an idiot getting myself in this position with him.

I'm really sorry OP. He knew what he was doing.

It doesnt matter whether he sees it as wrong = it was wrong. you asked him to and explained. He didnt. you asked him to again and he didnt.

What have you said to him

it was my fault as my voice is sexy.

In other words he was turned on by you telling him no.

Ask yourself what kind of man that is.

If this wasn't so serious I would scare the shit out of him and tell a white lie in a couple of weeks, telling him you think you may be pregnant. What an absolute arsehole.

You're not an idiot.
This isn't your fault.

Why are you blaming yourself OP?

He wants a child and I don't. I had a termination last year which he knows about. I think the only reason the relationship has lasted so long is because of lockdown. I hear what all you're saying and it makes sense.

as I let him start sex without a condom I don't think he sees that he is wrong.

You told him to stop.

Whether you take it further or not he needs to understand that is was rape.

I'm really sorry OP. He completely disregarded your request and consent was given on the basis of the condom being put on. Dont blame yourself, you made it clear and he ignored you. And dont second guess that you didnt say it more etc, you said No it's as simple as that.

You won’t persuade him that it was wrong. You can’t make him accept that it was wrong. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t wrong, of course it was. But people will tie themselves in knots to avoid thinking of themselves as bad people. Getting closure on this won’t come from him having some sort of epiphany and being all sorry, it will only come from booting him out of your life and staying safe.

Oh darling, he raped you. You need to stay the hell away from him. You could report to police bit understand why you may not want to

You told him no sex without a condom.
He started anyway.
You told him to stop.
He didn't.
He blamed it on your voice (saying stop!) being sexy.
What do you call that? I'd call it rape.

He not only ignored you saying no, he risked your physical health. His desire to have sex without a condom was more important to him than either your consent, enjoyment, boundaries or physical health.

Of course he will try to twist the blame onto you. Leave him anyway.

You said no more than once and he had unprotected sex with you anyway, that's rape. Block him and dump him and be glad he has shown you what he is like before your lives become more entangled.

Abusive men want their partners to get pregnant so they can control you for the next 18 years. Sorry if he is not abusive, (though raping you is abusive). Just wanted to point that out.

It doesn't matter if he sees that he is wrong.

Simply message him saying 'No means no. You ignored my no. You should know what that makes you. We are no longer in a relationship, harrass me about this and I will simply go to the police. Stay away, rapist.'

He knew just what he was doing. And managed to blame you too. Get the MAP if you’re worried about conception and take steps to extricate yourself from this relationship.

Sorry OP, but you're not stupid.

You did ask him to use a condom, and you had to ask him again to put one on.

I understand that you feel you ''should've said more'' or ''shouldn't have let him start without one, but I think you actually believed he'd take your wishes into account..............he did not

You know in your heart that he is a selfish and pushy 'partner' and that you know what he did was wrong.

But to have done that to you knowing you'd had the trauma of a termination last year ?? I'm actually gutted for you

You deserve someone who loves and cares for you, not the piece of shit you're with now.......................end it before he abuses your love and trust further.