I didn't consent to this **MNHQ content warning**

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I've been going over this for a few days now and I'm still feeling very uneasy. Me and my partner have been together 3 years, but do not live together. I've been on antibiotics and so had told me partner (support bubbled before anyone jumps down my throat) that we needed to use a condom (which he dislikes) as the antibiotics could stop the cough pill working. Sorry for TMI but he said he would put one on in a min and inserted himself into me. He didn't really give me a chance to say no and stupidly I let him go with it for a couple of minutes, I then said to him, please stop and put one on, he ignores me carried on for another 10 seconds and came and said it was my fault as my voice is sexy. I feel so angry at myself for letting him even start sex with no condom and even angrier at him for not listening to my wishes. I feel so upset that he thinks this is ok and doesn't respect my wishes. I've told him how angry I am and haven't seen him since Sunday (this happened Saturday evening). I've taken the morning after pill.

Please don’t hate yourself! You are not at fault here. And you are not alone.

He's been controlling before when we lived together, but hasn't really done anything since I moved out just over a year ago. He's always been very pushy for sex and sulking when I won't sleep with him. He doesn't see himself as controlling or manipulative. I know he's no good for me and has slowly destroyed any confidence I have in myself. I need to get out, but it's so hard, especially for the fact of lockdown. I'm so angry with myself for putting up with it for so long.

I hope your anger gives you the resolve you need to report him and to end the relationship for good!

www.ncdv.org.uk/

Their help is free

Please contact Rape Crisis centre and/or Women's Aid. They can help you.

He doesn't see himself as controlling or manipulative.

The fact he can’t see anything wrong with his actions is exactly why he is controlling/manipulating.

Some will cry and apologise and then just do the same thing over and over or they disregard your opinion/voice until you stop questioning their actions.

Guys who aren’t controlling or abusive (won’t do what he did) will make a mistake and apologise and then not do it again.

Why do you go back, op? What can you and those around you do to help you not go back to him?

He raped you it doesn’t matter at what point you said no it was rape x What an arsehole x

I've left a message with women's aid. Thank you for all your supportive messages.

You've been raped OP. Don't keep living with your rapist

“I've tried to leave him for two years now and I always end up going back. I hate myself for it.”

It’s very common for women in abusive relationships to make multiple attempts to leave before one of those attempts is successful.

How can we help you make your next attempt stick?

WTAF!!!
Don’t you dare blame yourself for anything that happened, you made it perfectly clear you wanted him to wear a condom and asked him to stop...he ignored you then blamed you!! Please please dump him NOW!! This has gone beyond red flags and into abuse territory.

I’m so sorry you’ve gone through this

The man is trying to get you pregnant so you'll find it even harder to remove him from your life.

I hope Women's Aid are helpful.

You are worth far more than this and him.

You told him to stop and he didn't. It doesn't matter whether you allowed it to begin or not. What he did was wrong and inexcusable.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope you can get the help you need to finally walk away from this man for good.

Leave that idiot.

He ignored your clearly stated wishes and then tried to blame you for his behaviour.

He is absolutely vile.

He’s a horrible vile rapist. I’m so sorry, OP. He doesn’t want a child, he wants another way to control you. Whatever you decide with the prosecution, please be rid of him forever.

Vile rapist.

You poor woman.
This is NOT on you.

This was deliberate.
To get you pregnant so that you would be trapped.

Thank goodness you contacted Women's Aid.

Please contact 101 for advice.
Have you family and friends to tell?

Remember this is NOT on you.

He is a very bad man.

Please take this opportunity and finish with him.

Please let tge police know what he did.
It will mean so much when he does it again.

I’m sorry you were treated so badly by someone who should be looking out for you. He clearly has form for ignoring your wishes.
Saying no means no. He knew full well what he was doing. Regardless of whether you call the police etc, please give this unpleasant specimen the elbow if you haven’t already.

@YoniAndGuy

Dump him immediately.

And send him a couple of links making it clear that what he did was rape.

This 100%

I spoke with a lovely lady at women's aid and had a good cry. She's given me a number to call tomorrow. I've focused on self care this evening and have a busy day tomorrow to keep myself busy. He's made no more attempt to contact me after what I told him and I won't be making any contact with him.

OP you're so brave, stay strong x

well done OP x

well done OP, you've done the right thing
Anytime you have a wobble check back here x

Well done for speaking to Women’s Aid. If he calls or texts don’t answer.

Onwards and upwards from here.