@Eesha I'd happily review your profile but am not on any apps apart from OKC (and I don't go on that anymore but I like all my profile pics on it so it is on pause rather than deleting it and having to find them all on my phone again when it goes tits up with Mr G) So if it is possible for me to do it some other way am happy to (I work in comms, I sell things. Even people!)
@confused1974 I don't see the point of setting invisible hurdles for people to fall over. I never double message new people, I just assume disinterest if they don't reply and politely move on. Additionally, persistence doesn't mean a thing. Some of the worst types love bomb you at first with multiple messages then ghost when they feel they have 'won' - and indeed it makes me suspicious when people can't take no for an answer. If you like the guy, reply. If you have doubts about him, don't.
@Onesmallstep67 I'm afraid I would run a million, million miles from financial entanglement with ANYONE I met online dating. Even if I stayed with someone for years I would keep our finances separate (unless he was an 80 year old millionaire 😂😂😂). But then I have been burned by that myself and find it very triggering indeed.
Thanks for all your kind advice re: Mr G. @ThisTooShallBeFantastic - that's the thing though, when I am with him there is no 'drama' to step away from. He is one of the calmest men I have ever met. Which I love as my ex was volatile and foul tempered. I just refuse to talk about it, but yes, I am resigned to one day stepping away, @Notcoolmum. His ex seems to be a parasite and create enough drama for an army. Even hearing about her makes me feel like I've switched on the Jeremy Kyle Show. And I suspect he underplays it. I must admit I do question why he got involved with her in the first place, or stayed. But then if you saw my ex husband, you would seriously send me away to be sectioned. So I know how someone can get worse and worse over time.
@TheCatWithTheHat - Mr Local (I may as well call him Mr L cos he isn't going anywhere) pre-dates Mr G. By about 6 weeks. He made it very clear, right from his OKC profile that he didn't want a relationship. We have nothing in common and he is 13 years younger than me. I went into it clear-eyed. The sex is amazing. I see him every week once a week and we also watch crap TV and talk about inconsequential rubbish, maybe have a beer. We rarely send more than one or two short messages a week. It's been 6 months. He's great. He stops me getting over invested in anyone else (or putting all my eggs into one bastard as someone once said. After Mr Beard I am so wary of getting hurt I would do a 180 if I even started to feel the way I did about him). I don't discuss Mr L with anyone really - it's like a hermetically sealed bit of my life that is just for me and gives me no grief. If Mr G wasn't in the position he is then maybe I would end it, but actually I don't want to.
@HairyArsedMan and @DudeFromThatLondon - sorry you both had to go through significant losses to make a clean break. I really do not know how adults can't stand on their own two feet. I haven't had a penny for my kids from my ex for 3 years. I CBA even asking. I'd be ashamed to death to be him. I did ask him when he surprised me with divorce papers and said he wanted what he was entitled to, did he mean legally or morally? And he said "legally" without a trace of shame, knowing that the two things are not the same. Even my DS telling him he should be embarrassed had no effect. I pray every day that neither of my kids is dumb enough to marry and I hope they both get pre-nups if they do!