Online dating in your 40s - part 3!

[StarlightSparkle]

A new thread, so we can continue discussing the depressing reality of the above!

Haha @pineappleonpizzaornot you always make me giggle 😂😂

Hi @OutingMyself when did Tall Guy last message how longs it been? I think its fine if its been a day or two?

Hope @Angelofdeath is ok..

@pineappleonpizzaornot i know what you mean about the ice queen. I think OLD changes and hardens you as its a constant snapshot of the shitness of the nature of men... not all men of course but id say 85% if them on there are just arseholes. So why wouldnt we turn into ice queens. Its not us its them. Im ok thanks and nothing from JD im hoping he gets in touch before friday or that’s that done as I only want to chat to guys who show done interest/want to be in touch with me. It’s just a shame as i felt we’d always got on but his lack of contact is a crystal clear message in itself - he isn't bothered.

Im so sorry @Shayelle2009 - Its so hard watching you ladies get a glimmer of excitement in your life, then shrek gobbles it all up! It doesnt take long to send a message at all. Its so difficult with the times we are in, maybe they are scared they will run out of things to say.....but then any basis of a relationship needs some sort of communication, especially at the minute. You do what is right for you, generally your gut is right .
Im also hoping @Angelofdeath is alright.

Hi ladies, thought I'd catch up and update to give you all a little boost hopefully. So my coffee dates have progressed quite a bit and I've seen a bit of him. He's just ace ( well so far my walls still up) generous funny thoughtful totally my cup of tea. Still approaching with caution as we all know how quickly it can go tits up but I've told myself to go with it relax and if it works it works if it doesn't I am more than happy on my own.
I'm desperately trying to find red flags but so far I can't I've been hurt in the past but think my wall has to come down a little so he doesn't always see the ice queen. Will keep updating and you can all assist when it does go tits up!

So happy for you @ivegotthisyeah...does he have any single friends !
I cant ever imagine dropping my "wall" for anyone, but Im pleased you can give me some hope

That’s great @ivegotthisyeah We need to hear positive stories to keep us motivated.

I’m sorry @Shayelle2009
I agree with what you wrote:
his lack of contact is a crystal clear message in itself - he isn't bothered I find if a guy makes F all effort at the beginning he makes even less effort down the line ... & then we end up on MN asking if we should LTB!

Thanks @pineappleonpizzaornot thats exactly it. I thought he seemed all happy reconnecting like i was. I do keep thinking maybe he sensed that i like him, and it put him off. I mean i give him shit in a jokey way but he can probably sense that i like him... and maybe he’s put off by it . Oh well, only tomorrow to go then i can just fuck it off and move on lol! Thanks for understanding and being kind hope the photo pang has worn off a bit now for you as well! Tomorrows a new day hey

Awwww @ivegotthisyeah that is really cute 🥰 im glad to hear a happy little update haha!! Enjoy yourself

Thanks @Changeispossible my own stupid fault for thinking things would be better this time! 🙈

@Shayelle2009 He messaged last night when I'd already gone to sleep and I didn't reply until about mid day today. I know it's early really and he's probably just at work I'm just a worrier. Are you still keeping your options open and looking for other people or waiting until Friday?

That's great @ivegotthisyeah! I don't blame you re the wall though. I don't think mine will ever come down again.

@Shayelle2009 don't give up on JD just yet, he may have a valid reason for not being in touch. But then I'm not a good example as I've let CG walk all over me.

@OutingMyself thats perfectly fine! Dont worry about that and if he gets funny about that then he's a dick!

You have been very patient @Isitreally7777. Ive been told i need to be more patient generally but to me this is saying for whatever reason he doesnt want to chat. Sigh. If only it was easy to meet ones we like more frequently!!! I literally meet like one person a year that im interested in! Bad odds haha!

I think something I said has scared him off. Oh well.

@Shayelle2009 not sure whether I've been patient or a mug. Only time will tell.

@Isitreally7777 i think you have to either meet or chat to him on the phone so he can prove who he says he is. From what you say, he seems like he's hiding something that you will immediately see when you chat. Otherwise why all the excuses after what seems like months? I've seen how a lot of these catfishes work and it's horrible. You seem so lovely and trusting, protect yourself.

@Eesha thank you that's kind of you to say. We are supposed to meet but I don't think he is ready for anything more than friends which seems to have upset him a bit today. He told me last week he was heartbroken as his ex told him there was no chance they would get back together and that it was all his fault.

@Isitreally7777 but why no phone call at least? Whether or not he wants to be more than friends, he should be putting your mind at rest that he's real. Why aren't you worried if he's a catfish? He seems to have told you this story but detracted from the basics, is he who he says he is? Does he have social media/linkedin etc? What if he's a woman?! Perhaps I'm more paranoid than you but this screams catfish to me.

So sorry to hear that @Angelofdeath. We're here if you want to talk about it xx

Oh no @Angelofdeath.. sorry you've had some bad news. I hope everything will be ok?

I’ve blocked JD, for once and for all. Might be harsh or whatever but don't like how its been making me feel... life's too short.

@Eesha we had conversations at the start where he told me what he did, where he lived, his interests, he is a freelance website designer. We chat about the gym(stuff only someone that goes to a gym would know about), the schools reopening, covid and lockdowns. I'm not worried about social media as when I was where he was I also stopped social media for a bit and I know many people who don't use it. I've searched his photos online (when i was having my paranoid episode the other week) and none of them came up and they are the same body as the ones on his Tinder profile(which had no head). If he is a woman then they are very disturbed. I have to take this one as it comes and believe he is being honest with me.

I've had a cat fish before all his photos were professional model like ones, refused to tell me any kind of personal information, he said he was a plastic surgeon at 30, I couldn't find him on the hospital website etc. He suggested meeting then bailed completely and unmatched.

@Angelofdeath sorry to hear about your bad news. I hope you are okay now

@Shayelle2009 you are much stronger than me. I hope you are okay.