Online dating in your 40s - part 3!

[StarlightSparkle]

A new thread, so we can continue discussing the depressing reality of the above!

@pineappleonpizzaornot

Oh silly me! Yes Tinder

Ladies I'm in awe of most of you....your ability to take it with a pinch of salt and move on. Maybe its because I'm not separated that long and only met a few irons but I'm still working this all out. I'm already missing our wee daily messages but dont think going back on the apps is the answer....hard to know what to do. I've deleted his contact from my phone but he has sent 2 jokey memes since I ended things on Friday. To add to that my exh called last night to see the kids and we ended up chatting. He kept complimenting me in little indirect ways, asking what I had got for valentine's day and they went on to ask why we couldn't get back together. I'm starting to wonder will I ever meet someone who really values me ...

I’d say no to pineapple on pizza. Keep it savoury!

@changeispossible, I love pineapple on my pizza 😳
@LuckyLinda3, I completely get where you are coming from, I wasn't ready for the dregs of OLD, but tried anyway, it was waaayyyy too soon for me, and all I wanted was my ex, I was trying to fill a void, that in many ways couldn't be filled, partly because I didn't want it to be. However, I'm a year down the line, still single, but I'm happy! If my ex text me now and wanted to try again, I'd pick him up by his mig ears and kick his spotty little arse to the next town! It will happen for us when it's meant to, I do believe that! And I've certainly developed a thick skin wading around in this swamp 🐙

Big* lol - only thing about him that was big 🤣🤣

Haha @pineappleonpizzaornot you're so funny with your one liners!! ‘Somewhere between a shag and a husband’ haha love it! Shreks swamp originated from you too and i use that all the time now

Still nothing from JD. I don't know whether

1. he’s not interested
2. he’s interested, but playing it cool
3. he’s sitting back and just expecting me to make all the effort (im not going to)

Opinions please?!?

@Shayelle2009

I think the book He’s Just Not That Into You is good. It’s not all right of course but the underlying message of ‘don’t waste your time wondering about what a major man is thinking. If he’s really into you, you’ll know.’

*major was not meant to be there!

I was thinking that was some kind of terminology from the book

It could be any of those, @Shayelle2009, so hard to say :/

@Shayelle2009 when did you last hear from him? I went 3 weeks without hearing from Computer Geek back in December, in fairness he had told me he was taking a break to sort his life out (turns out he was moving out). Yesterday Computer Geek was messaging all day, today it has been like pulling teeth.

@pineappleonpizzaornot I like pineapple on pizza too.

@pineappleonpizzaornot and @Isitreally7777 now I feel Like I’m being ganged up on for not liking pineapple on pizza. I was just answering the question in the username

@OutingMyself

🤣Ah yes beware the ‘major man.’ No mere mortal can get into his mind ...

Its true @Changeispossible, i guess i would know.

Hi @Isitreally7777 last messages were on sunday. We messaged a lot over the weekend though, both taking it in turns to get in touch. Yeah i remember when you guys were out of touch for a while.

You still talking to the tall guy @OutingMyself?

Ive decided that
-if he messages before friday, then hes interested and all is good

• if he mesaages on actual friday night he probably just sees me as a potential shag.. not so good
• if i dont hear anything at all then clearly hes not bothered and ill just delete his number ...

Sorry i am aware how very sad im sounding lol.. 🙈

@Shayelle2009 I wouldn't worry too much he might just be busy(says the woman constantly worrying she has said something stupid every time Computer Geek doesn't reply straight away🤦‍♀️). You could always send him a quick how are you message show him you are thinking of him. I'm trying my hardest not to overthink or worry since I had my paranoid episode the other week so if Computer Geek doesn't reply straight away I think he may be busy or with his kids but at least he has read the message(and knows I'm thinking about him) and he will reply when he gets a chance and 9 times out of 10 he does reply later on.

Haha its good in a way @Isitreally7777 that youve given him a bit of shit and it hasnt bothered him, hes still there. Thats quite nice isnt it i like it when a guy is steady like that.

I hope its just that he's busy, i just really like this one, but if hes not bothered then im def not going to chase it and will cut him loose and move on.

Thank you for the votes of pineapple @shayelle, he might be busy and not want to seem too keen 🤷🏻‍♀️ it's so hard when you go from constant messaging to very little, doesn't do wonders for the self esteem does it. I think the only way I'm getting through this OLD malarkey is to really believe it will happen when it's supposed to who am I fucking kidding

That sounds like a good plan, @Shayelle2009.

I have been speaking to the tall guy. The 'what are you looking for' question actually brought up some interesting stuff and he actually said 'you never know if there's a connection until you meet', which was refreshing from a guy!

Youre so right @pineappleonpizzaornot and I know its madness to overthink things.. but exactly, so much chatting over the weekend then.... nothing! Its a headfuck! (I know its only Tuesday but a text takes no time does it... maybe he think im too keen as i messaged him happy valentines )

Ooooh thats good a@OutingMyself glad that chats progressing and becoming more interesting!

@Shayelle2009 haha I've given him so much shit it's a wonder he does stick around. It does feel nice though. He is pretty unreliable but he is also pretty understanding.

I hope JD comes through for you. You are stronger than me, I can't seem to cut Computer Geek loose even though he is so flakey.

Maybe it really is that hes just been going through a really shit time @Isitreally7777, im sure he is valuing your support. Its funny sometimes how its people we aren't closest to in life are the ones who get us through at times, ive often found that.
Oh thank you me too. Well im the same as you - went through a few months where we lost touch but i always thought about him in that time and hoped we’d reconnect somehow...now we have, im just going to sit tight as if he’s not bothered, for my own worth, ive got to leave it. Will see what this week brings!

@Shayelle2009 if he wasn't bothered he wouldn't have come back that's how I look at things. JD got back in touch he obviously wants to get to know you. In this day and age it is so easy just to walk away from talking to someone.

And thank you, when I spoke to my ex about it back last year he did say he would be unreliable and I would need patience.

Hi @Isitreally7777 your ex sounds like an amazing sounding board, youre lucky to have a decent male buddy on your side to talk to these things about... i really value my male friends perspectives on these things!
Decided im actually going to just block him if i dont hear anymore by friday. I just cant be arsed with it and i deserve more 🌟