Online dating in your 40s - part 3!

[StarlightSparkle]

A new thread, so we can continue discussing the depressing reality of the above!

Its funny isnt it @Isitreally7777 ive always found younger guys to be more interested! Theyre probably just not as bitter about life yet than older ones 😂😂

@Shayelle2009 it seems you were right. I've had my profile hidden on pof since we got together in Oct and wasnt on the site at all but I logged on last night and sure enough there was a wee green dot on his profile pic for most of the night. Fair enough I had ended it on Thursday. I just thought he wasnt really the type but then again most people probably do get right back out there. I think I might give it a wee break not because I'm sad and hurt because I'm not really, I know it was the right decision, but because theres so much negativity with old that I can do without right now.

@LuckyLinda3 i think men tend to get out there asap sadly.

@Eesha yeah I think you are right and thanks for responding as it reinforces my view that it's not necessarily about me but more a man thing. I probably would have given it another go down the line if he had maybe had time to think but I'm not going to sit around waiting now. How are things with you right now?

@LuckyLinda3 i suppose you ended it but I think men can't be alone for long. This is judging by the amount of separated men online.

All ok here, a teeny bit sad I didn't get a Valentine's message etc from Mr Yoga. I know things were pretty much done but I guess I had some hope he still thought about me. We haven't had any messages since Tuesday now. A few chats going on on Tinder but I guess I'm still feeling a bit sad about things.

That said, my aunt sent us a giant raspberry Victoria sponge so that kinda helps!!

@Eesha I hear you. Its not easy but I'm always optimistic.

How lovely, enjoy your cake, you deserve it💐

Sorry to hear you saw him back on pof @LuckyLinda3. I do find its the quickest way for men to feel better about themselves but its kind of the same for us too. Its horrible when things go wrong isnt it , it just feels raw.

That’s disappointing @Isitreally7777 you didnt get a little message. He doesnt do much to show you he cares. Thoughtless! You sound level headed about it though but it must feel like a little pang all the same x

I messaged JD happy Valentines and said glad we’re in touch again and he replied awwww me too. Hope he actually means it 😂

Sorry i meant for @Eesha.

Yeah you are right @Shayelle2009. I'm not judging him for going back on, it's a cycle it seems. I'm going to take a wee break though as I'm just not feeling it atm. Glad things are going well for you.💐

@Shayelle2009 its ok, i guess if he had messaged me, I would think he did care so it's been a good learning experience. Had a lovely day with the kids though, eaten way too much!!! Glad your iron is proving attentive!

I dont blame you @LuckyLinda3 id be feeling exactly the same. If its any consolation im sure he doesnt feel 100% happy either. We just deal with our feelings better don't we? Its good to take some time to heal

@Eesha i really do feel for you but i so admire how mature youve been over this whole horrible time. Honestly though if i was you and he tried to come back at any point i dont think i could do it because the way hes treated you, i just think its really low even whatever hes going through, hes not been a nice partner - or even a friend. Hope I dont sound too judgy or anything as i dont mean to.

Haha yeah 3rd day of being back in touch and its not gone pears thus far. This is practically an LTR for me !! just need him to put his big man pants on and arrange to meet now! He kind of tried a few times previously but hopefully now we’ve reconnected, if that means anything as it does to me, he will make a proper effort. Despite his hunky appearance im not entirely sure hes quite as confident on the inside! Which i find quite endearing .

I haven't even had a How's your day message from Computer Geek today(although he has his kids so i don't get much at the weekend). I did get a couple of rather sweet messages from him yesterday basically saying that since he has known me he has been through the worst period in his life and I've been there all the way through it with him. He also said thank you (listening to his problems and telling him it does get better doesn't feel like much to me).

It's been quite nice not swiping and having to try and make small talk with men who can't string a sentence together. Think my break might be for a bit longer.

@Shayelle2009 Im ok with it really, I've known quite a few weaker men in my life but he's definitely explained the situation to me clearly. I think he's probably so consumed with his stuff that he decided a relationship with me wasn't for him. I'm trying not to take it personally as I know he wasn't handling his autism diagnosis well at all. Im a pretty decent catch so it's all ok. I did my best because I liked him a lot and you always remember those who are good to you. I'm sure he'll find someone easily at some point but no one quite like me!

Thats nice @Isitreally7777 you had some nice messages yesterday. Shame he’s not said a happy v day but do you think a lot of men dont really bother with the day and don't think to send us a cute message? They think so differently to us don't they.

I agree @Eesha its his loss as you know your worth and if he cant cope with things then it leaves you free to find someone more capable!

I fell asleep before anything was arranged last night then I've felt awful today and have told him I'll be in touch tomorrow.

Do any of you ever ask people how tall they are if they don't say? I feel like it's too late to ask now!

@Shayelle2009 he doesn't strike me as the type to send happy valentines day messages(although I haven't either). I was surprised with yesterday's messages (I was so surprised I read it out to my housemate and nearly cried), it was nice to get some recognition from him.

@OutingMyself I did ask Mr Computer Geek recently, I just came out and asked him as i couldn't tell from photos.

I think I'm scared in case I don't like that answer. I'm fairly tall at 5'8. It would probably be worse to find out he's 5'nothing in person I suppose.

*the not that

@OutingMyself that was my fear as in one photo he looked short (after much inspection though it turned out the worktop was cutting his leg off 😂). I'm 5"6 but I love wearing stupidly high heels so I like someone about 5ft 10 and above so they are still taller than me. Computer Geek is 6ft1 apparently (when we eventually meet if I have to look up to him then he is telling the truth, my younger brother is 6ft2 so I know if he is lying 😂).

@Isitreally7777 I've been looking through his pictures (found him on Facebook ;)) but I can't find any that I could guess from :/

I don't wear heels often so I'd be fine with 5'8. I feel like some guys would say 5'8 if they were 5'6 though!

@Shayelle2009 just as expected he messaged but no happy v day message. I did reply wishing him happy v day, let's see of he wishes it back

Hope you've all had an ok v day. I've got 2 new irons, both quite talkative - makes a change! Also two previous ones have been messaging today, so it's been busy! Not sure about any of them, but will see how it goes.

Okay so I did get a happy valentines message from Mr Computer Geek in the end, obviously I needed to say it first.

@Zoomme the talkative ones are always good, so much easier.