Online dating in your 40s - part 3!

[StarlightSparkle]

A new thread, so we can continue discussing the depressing reality of the above!

Thanks Angel, no he never chats about work, just social catch ups.... up til yesterday we’ve only ever messaged each other and its always him contacted me first but yesterday he randomly popped up and asked to video chat! Thank god id washed my hair yesterday and didnt look too rough 😂 nipped upstairs to get some lippy on
We always had chats in the office and hes become a nice friend but suddenly these compliments have started and i dont know what to make of it. (Its a massive boost though as the things he says are really genuinely lovely)

Think im just a bit (more than a bit) confused by it. But im not complaining

Not really used to a guy being nice to me if that makes sense but ive got to know him well and hes a lovely guy so theres no sinister motive.

Guess ill just bask in its warm glow and not think too much about it!!

@Isitreally777 id be highly suspicious if after all this time of chatting he cant just ping you a photo taken there and then. I think you have to ask yourself - do you think you can do better than this? Ie him and how hes treating you? Hes not even open enough to send you a picture (who the hell is this guy then)
Years ago a mate of mine was speaking to a guy online (we were early 20s, she thought he was same age) met up with him and some guy in his 60s turned up. Its really common.. please be careful.
If you can say to yourself hell yes i can do better than this - then you know what the answer is

Thank you Angel I just dont know, spoke to my good mate at work whos also pals with him and she said hes never complimented her etc like this. I cant help being flattered and I am kind of glowing from it.. hehe im a such a sucker

Ooooh love a good photoshoot i always find they come out best if im having a good day like feeling positive and that kind of radiates out of the face and takes a nice photo? hope it catches a nice ones attention! 💗

@Angelofdeath its always good to have a little refresh isnt it! A friend of mine met someone on pof and they've been together over a year now. He’d said to her he noticed when she’d updated her picture and they started chatting then!
Oh my god I absolutely love the old peep shows.. have you started right at the beginning? The earliest ones are the best! Sooo so funny and still make you laugh watching them now. Haha, he is a bit posh and ‘british’ like Mark too

Ive just switched my machine on and he’s sent me a recurring series of weekly video catch ups til the end of march. Bless

@Angelofdeath not unkind at all and yes it would probably go just like that. But I should at least give him the chance to respond to my accusations.

@Shayelle2009 I know although I did send him a photo I took last year. And yes I probably can do better than being treated like this.

I actually miss how our chats were at the start, when we chatted about the gym or sent photos from when I was out walking and he was out on his bike, when we actually chatted about stuff, even up until a couple of weeks ago we were still chatting about stuff. The moment either one of us try and put dates into the equation it goes downhill.

@Shayelle2009 Very positive news!!!

@Isitreally777 didnt you say you hadn't spoken to him in person? What if he's really old or even a woman? That's what I'd be scared of. The lack of photo speaks volumes as even if married, would be able to send a picture quickly but there is something he is hiding.

You don't need to give him a chance for anything. Sorry to be blunt, but he's a piece of shit and not worth the effort. You don't owe him anything!

@Isitreally777 he isn't who he says...probably some old, bored man who is getting his kicks out of doing this, or a teenage boy. Who knows, but this man isn't real. You owe him nowt.

@Isitreally777 have you searched the Internet for the photos he's sent so far? You can do an image search.

Hi Ladies, well I did something a bit silly! You know the gas man that fell in love with me, I got drunk and messaged him asking if he wanted to come for a meal on Sat night.....he said yes!

I cant do this, he is too far away, and I think hes a bit creepy, he sent me messages saying its "scary, how it feels so right with me!", and then sent me a song via Whatsapp "Some guys get all the luck", I feel so silly, I got over excited on my confidence boost, now I am going to have to be a bitch and let him down, Im such an arse! Got completely carried away with someone showing an interest in me.
Also been talking to a guy, turns out he is living in the bloody town I have just moved 60 miles away from....you couldnt write it!

@bangheadhere40 yes I've done the reverse image search on all the photos he has sent me and nothing comes up (I actually did some of mine too and nothing comes up either but all my profiles are set on highest privacy due to past experiences with some weirdos not related to dating I will add).

Thank you @Eesha how are you feeling today? I think you've been really dignified about it all.

Thats ok @pineappleonpizzaornot no harms been done! Are you a bit worried about seeing him at all cos of the distance? Or is he just too full on?

@Shayelle2009 - There are a few reasons really, the distance isnt great, he kind of seems a bit sickly, hes not messaging every 10 minutes, but certain things he says do make me cringe slightly.....he said he couldnt fix my gas because he couldnt take his eyes off me lol! And also, I think having a man in my house and possibly my bed scares the absolute shit out of me! I can physically feel a cage go up around me.
When he was leaving on the Friday, I actually thought he was going to kiss me and it felt so so so awkward, he ended up fist bumping me , but I could feel the panic rising in me, not know what to do....maybe Im a weirdo?

knowing*

@pineappleonpizzaornot, you've had a fair bit of upheaval with moving into your new place etc. I think if you have no real desire to see if something could develop with Mr Gasman then I would pull the plug now, as nicely as possible. Or maybe allow yourself to meet him again but without the pressure of it being in your house. Was the plan to come for a meal then he would go ?

No real plan, I got drunk and got brave and asked him if he would like to come for something to eat its not like its a 20 minute drive though is it?
Im going to message tonight and tell him he is a nice man, but the distance is just too much for me, so I would rather not start anything that could end up getting quite complicated

You might be feeling a bit freaked out about Mr Gasman @pineappleonpizzaornot as @Onesmallstep67 said youve had a lot going on this last week... depends on how you feel though if it feels overwhelming its probably best to cancel it

I think you are both right, and it certainly isnt nice to lead someone on! I think I got carried away with the confidence boost!