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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I fancy the plumber. HELP!

557 replies

PawPatrol24 · 19/01/2021 22:06

Recently single 26 year old Mumma here.
This particular plumber has come over twice the past 2/3 months to help with various things around my rented place.

He is is absolutely stunning. In his 30's. Three children. Not with the mother, but no idea of any girlfriend. Lovely to my very chatty, curious 3yo (obviously having seen her when fixing up the place).

I am sure there is a little chemistry but I'm not sure if I'm projecting. Something in the way he mentioned me being a full-time Mum, the smile on his face as he left and mentioning he's not with the mother.

He's said he'd keep me updated with various bits that need doing. Everyone says to see if he followed through with this but I can't eat or sleep properly. I feel like a 16 year old girl again!
I don't wanna step on no ones toes, but I also don't want to waste an opportunity.

Advice?!

OP posts:
EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide · 20/01/2021 15:29

Why did you say you were your three year old?

Original poster
PawPatrol24 · 20/01/2021 15:35

@CleverCatty

OP - even if you don't hear from him later then it's better you actually bit the bullet and texted him rather than didn't.

Fortune favours the brave!

If it were me (I'm not a man!) and even if I wasn't single I'd be very flattered by this message (but hoping it wasn't a 3 year old doing it!).

I rarely see any workmen, my plumber is a married, older family friend but very not my type!

I didn't say it was my 3 year old. I edited the original message so no names or addresses were available for everyone to see
OP posts:
Original poster
PawPatrol24 · 20/01/2021 15:36

@EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide

Why did you say you were your three year old?
Whoops. I was meant to quote this person.
OP posts:
Givemeabreak88 · 20/01/2021 15:46

She didn’t say she was the 3 year old in the original message I think it’s just the way she edited it. tbh I would have expected a response by now but maybe he will text in the evening.

prettygreenteacup · 20/01/2021 16:03

Shameless place marking because I need to know if the hot plumber replies!! Grin

Original poster
PawPatrol24 · 20/01/2021 16:03

Is it bad that I view this very black and white? I believe that if he absolutely wanted to reply, he would have by now? Surely?
Two minutes out of a whole day to send a text?

I just wish I'd had a response either way, even just to explain "Sorry, I have a girlfriend. Best not. Thanks anyways." or "Thanks, but I'm not that interested. No offense."

Just me?

OP posts:
Bubbles1st · 20/01/2021 16:08

Of course it's best to have a reply regardless.

He might just be thinking about it and waiting until he has finished work.

Or maybe if a work mobile just leaves it in the van if has an all day job.

Either way I hope he does reply regardless of outcome.

When I gave my partner my mobile number he didn't use it for 24 hours..... I honestly assumed he would immediately add me to his phone and text me but instead he kept me waiting as he wanted to have time to actually have a conversation.

IJustWantSomeBees · 20/01/2021 16:10

To be honest I think you're right. What's that saying, something about considering whether it's a horse before trying to convince yourself it's a zebra (aka. the most obvious answer is the most likely one). In this case I think the most obvious answer for him not replying is that he's not interested. As you said though OP, the main thing is you put yourself out your comfort zone and well done for that

WhydoesItAlwaysRainMe · 20/01/2021 16:12

I have been following this all night/day hoping he replies. Maybe he is thinking what to reply, or he might wait until he sees you next...has he got any jobs with you booked in

havecourage8bekind · 20/01/2021 16:13

I think you're right. I get that he's been working but surely he's had a break or 2 mins to send a quick message. I hope that he does message you later though, otherwise he's just plain rude .

Original poster
PawPatrol24 · 20/01/2021 16:24

@WhydoesItAlwaysRainMe

I have been following this all night/day hoping he replies. Maybe he is thinking what to reply, or he might wait until he sees you next...has he got any jobs with you booked in
Nope. Just told me he would update me on the things that need to be done to my back bedroom so I can use it again.
OP posts:
Original poster
PawPatrol24 · 20/01/2021 16:26

@havecourage8bekind

I think you're right. I get that he's been working but surely he's had a break or 2 mins to send a quick message. I hope that he does message you later though, otherwise he's just plain rude .
Would be just my luck, tbh @havecourage8bekind. Just my luck...
OP posts:
EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide · 20/01/2021 16:28

Ahhh right! I was thinking maybe he just thought that was weird!
Yeah he could have texted either way. Maybe he is actually in a relationship and has panicked now.

Pippa234 · 20/01/2021 16:32

I think if I had put myself out there like that with no reply it would be enough to put me off of him.

I would prefer someone who thinks about what you are thinking so for example 'I better text back so she knows I like her, or I better text back so I don't leave her hanging' who thinks about the way you feel if you see what I mean.
I think thoughtfulness is a really important character trait in someone, if they didn't have that it would be a deal breaker for me anyway.

Original poster
PawPatrol24 · 20/01/2021 16:37

Update!
I just had a thought and checked his contact in my WhatsApp and guess what? HE WAS ONLINE.

So clearly couldn't be bothered to reply either way.

So I bit the bullet, gave it a shot. All I could do. Thank you all for your support. It has been so lovely

OP posts:
Givemeabreak88 · 20/01/2021 16:40

Tbh I didn’t want to sound negative since everyone is so super excited but yes this would put me off, he would have seen it by now and he must get lunch breaks so even if he did reply Later I don’t think he’s that keen sorry, I don’t always think people have to reply though, I didn’t reply to the gardener and I nicknamed him the creepy gardener, If I was a man that had messaged a woman people wouldn’t think she has to reply. So no I don’t think he has to, no response is a response sorry but like I said even if he text later I wouldn’t be thinking he’s that interested tbh to leave you hanging for so long

JustAPassingFashion · 20/01/2021 16:41

You never know OP, he could have spent the day plucking up the courage to reply 🤷🏻‍♀️

Givemeabreak88 · 20/01/2021 16:44

Men just aren’t that shy, it’s not him making the first move he already knows she’s interested so doubt he’s been “plucking up the courage all day” let’s not over think things Confused

greenemerald · 20/01/2021 16:45

Gah so annoying. Why do men do this? There is another thread at the moment about whether or not to message/seem keen and I'm so pleased you plucked the courage to put yourself out there. But seriously it'd take 2 secs to reply. I get people aren't always glued to their phones and take time to respond, but clearly the other person will be awaiting a response. To keep them hanging like this is so rude. Annoying!

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 20/01/2021 16:49

Could you contact him again and say something along the lines of
'After you left last time I noticed a damp patch....' Blush

Original poster
PawPatrol24 · 20/01/2021 16:51

@Givemeabreak88

Tbh I didn’t want to sound negative since everyone is so super excited but yes this would put me off, he would have seen it by now and he must get lunch breaks so even if he did reply Later I don’t think he’s that keen sorry, I don’t always think people have to reply though, I didn’t reply to the gardener and I nicknamed him the creepy gardener, If I was a man that had messaged a woman people wouldn’t think she has to reply. So no I don’t think he has to, no response is a response sorry but like I said even if he text later I wouldn’t be thinking he’s that interested tbh to leave you hanging for so long
I disagree. If I had come over all creepy, I would have understood. But I didn't. All I did was ask the man if he wanted to meet up for a coffee or tea. I think if a man messages a woman it's courteous for her to reply too.
OP posts:
Bingowin · 20/01/2021 16:52

He might be waiting til he’s finished work and like pp said,plucking up the courage!

Original poster
PawPatrol24 · 20/01/2021 16:54

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles

Could you contact him again and say something along the lines of 'After you left last time I noticed a damp patch....' Blush
Nope. I'm not contacting him again. Not only do I not want to seem needy, I'm not that needy. Do I really want to chase after a man who apparently, couldn't care less? No I do not. I spent two years giving my all to a man who treated me like shit. I'm not about to do that again. Unless he genuinely is thinking about it and I hear from him in the next few days? Other than that, no thank you
OP posts:
Givemeabreak88 · 20/01/2021 16:56

I think people would disagree tbh, if it was the other way and he had texted you and you wasn’t interested no one would tell you you had to respond you would be advised to block him, or even report him for being unprofessional, I posted about my gardener and the advice was to not respond/ block. I don’t think you sounded creepy btw that was just the nickname for my gardener 😬

Nillynally · 20/01/2021 16:56

Ahhh man! So disappointed for you!

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