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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I fancy the plumber. HELP!

557 replies

PawPatrol24 · 19/01/2021 22:06

Recently single 26 year old Mumma here.
This particular plumber has come over twice the past 2/3 months to help with various things around my rented place.

He is is absolutely stunning. In his 30's. Three children. Not with the mother, but no idea of any girlfriend. Lovely to my very chatty, curious 3yo (obviously having seen her when fixing up the place).

I am sure there is a little chemistry but I'm not sure if I'm projecting. Something in the way he mentioned me being a full-time Mum, the smile on his face as he left and mentioning he's not with the mother.

He's said he'd keep me updated with various bits that need doing. Everyone says to see if he followed through with this but I can't eat or sleep properly. I feel like a 16 year old girl again!
I don't wanna step on no ones toes, but I also don't want to waste an opportunity.

Advice?!

OP posts:
edwinbear · 20/01/2021 16:57

OP you sound like you have you head very firmly screwed on - good on you!

Foundmyfeet · 20/01/2021 16:57

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles PMSL!!!!!!!!! I'm going to try that with my husband...seeing as he's a plumber :)

@PawPatrol24 - sod him! Manners cost nothing. He could have declined you politely. His loss love.

Dery · 20/01/2021 17:02

@PawPatrol24 - main thing is you went for it. That’s awesome. Now you can put him out of your mind but you will always remember you took that brave step and that’s what counts.

NovemberR · 20/01/2021 17:04

It's his loss! You sound lovely, and that was a brave and polite message.

It would have cost him nothing to politely reply that he was too busy or had a partner, thanks.

But well done on going for it!

TabletHelpPlease · 20/01/2021 17:34

Yep, you've dodged a bullet there - it is rude not to reply to your friendly and non-creepy message. Good for you for asking him, and shame on him for not bothering to reply.

WednesdayWoohan · 20/01/2021 17:36

Should always go for what you want (as long as you aren't stepping on anyone else's toes).

Lucieintheskye · 20/01/2021 17:39

Either he's planning on messaging you properly later, and he's had a slew of messages he's ignored today.
Or, he has a partner and wants to pretend your message didn't happen
Or he's just not interested/used to messages like yours and doesn't want to reply.

He doesn't HAVE to reply though. Lots of people on this thread have made it seem like he's rude or that he's lazy and cba to reply. If it was the other way around lots of us would be telling OP to just ignore him, or block the number if she felt uncomfortable.

I kinda still hope he replies though!

Mylittlepony374 · 20/01/2021 17:43

Sorry he hasn't replied. I remain impressed you tried.

Love2cycle · 20/01/2021 17:44

I think what you've done is very sweet and I'd love for it to have worked out.
It is funny though, I've been texted similar by a couple of male customers after I've worked on their property and it does come across creepy. I reported them to my boss actually, no action taken but I felt uncomfortable with it.

Superpanicky · 20/01/2021 17:48

Well done OP sorry it hasn’t worked out but don’t let it put you off in the future. I just hope you don’t have to have him round again!

ivfbabymomma1 · 20/01/2021 17:50

You did right by messaging! No point in forever wondering what if!!! But if he's left you hanging, if he does eventually reply it would really put me off! X

SmileyClare · 20/01/2021 17:53

I suppose if one thing this lockdown sorts out (with regards to potential men) is the wheat from the chaff.

I mean if he thought sex was definitely on the cards he might have gone for it, say if you'd invited him out for evening drinks.
As it is he's been offered an outdoors walk and maybe a cup of tea from an outdoor cafe... so would only agree to that if he wanted to get to know you better and progress something slowly..

I wouldn't take it personally Op. I just hope he returns now to finish your blooming work!

Bluntness100 · 20/01/2021 17:54

Op you’re right don’t contact him again. I’m cringing some women would do that. Fake an Emergsncy, it’s so desperate, if he wants to see you he will text back, acting desperate and trying to get him round isn’t going to sway him either way. In fact it would likely put him right off.

Givemeabreak88 · 20/01/2021 17:54

He doesn't HAVE to reply though. Lots of people on this thread have made it seem like he's rude or that he's lazy and cba to reply. If it was the other way around lots of us would be telling OP to just ignore him, or block the number if she felt uncomfortable.

Exactly, The man that came to my house made me feel very uncomfortable after he text me asking me out, I was especially worried as he knew my address, I didn’t want to text him a rejection in case he got nasty, I’m not saying that this is the case here but just that no one is owed a response from a stranger. maybe he felt awkward, sometimes people are just being friendly and others mistake it for flirting.

Bluntness100 · 20/01/2021 17:55

He’s not a stranger as such, and I personally find it rude to not politely respond. I very much doubt the op scared him.

Faerysmoke · 20/01/2021 17:57

He is going to respond this evening.

SimmerDownNow · 20/01/2021 18:03

I think making a move was great! It's boosted your ego, shown you that you have the guts to do it. Who cares if he didn't respond, you didn't sound needy or crazy at all.

Well done OP!

Givemeabreak88 · 20/01/2021 18:07

I’m not saying he is scared but perhaps he is uncomfortable, people assuming he isn’t interested because he isn’t single but he might just not fancy the op and feels awkward. He’s a stranger in the way that they haven’t had a date, then yes it would be polite to send a “sorry but there was no spark message” but she’s just asked him out, he hasn’t responded. It would be nice if he did but he doesn’t have to either.

Original poster
PawPatrol24 · 20/01/2021 18:08

@Faerysmoke

He is going to respond this evening.
How can you be so sure? I don't think he is.
OP posts:
Cuntitinthebin · 20/01/2021 18:16

Maybe he's not allowed to date clients?

SunshineCake · 20/01/2021 18:18

I think the win here is you are okay with trying and not getting anything back.

Narniacalling · 20/01/2021 18:25

At least you tried! There’s nothing wrong with that. And there is not much point worrying about the whys and wherefores!
Onwards and upwards!

WTAFIhavelosttheferret · 20/01/2021 18:33

Could be a communal phone? Our engineers share the phones.

Lottapianos · 20/01/2021 18:34

Well done for giving it a go OP. It takes guts so be proud

missrm · 20/01/2021 18:34

Just reverse the genders here for one second. Imagine the Asda delivery guy messaged to ask for a drink. It would be chaos on here. I feel like a lot of the woman egging you on maybe should have thought about you and how this plays out if he doesn't contact you, before goading you into it.

Fair play to you though for being so brave. At least you know now and won't be day dreaming about the hot plumber.

He's a twat for not replying.