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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I fancy the plumber. HELP!

557 replies

PawPatrol24 · 19/01/2021 22:06

Recently single 26 year old Mumma here.
This particular plumber has come over twice the past 2/3 months to help with various things around my rented place.

He is is absolutely stunning. In his 30's. Three children. Not with the mother, but no idea of any girlfriend. Lovely to my very chatty, curious 3yo (obviously having seen her when fixing up the place).

I am sure there is a little chemistry but I'm not sure if I'm projecting. Something in the way he mentioned me being a full-time Mum, the smile on his face as he left and mentioning he's not with the mother.

He's said he'd keep me updated with various bits that need doing. Everyone says to see if he followed through with this but I can't eat or sleep properly. I feel like a 16 year old girl again!
I don't wanna step on no ones toes, but I also don't want to waste an opportunity.

Advice?!

OP posts:
Livelovebehappy · 21/01/2021 23:36

Maybe he gets this all the time and has found it best to ignore? My DH is self employed and gets women flirting with him, some single, some not. He gets uncomfortable with it when it happens, and some can be quite persistent. People think that all men like someone to boost their egos, but some just want to go and do the job and get paid and go home. Maybe op has just misread the signals. It’s sad that someone can’t have a friendly chat and smile without someone thinking they might fancy them. .

Whipituntilitpeaks · 21/01/2021 23:55

Op, well done!

I’m really wondering if it is a work phone, sounds fairly plausible.

Hope he replies!

TreadLightly3 · 22/01/2021 00:00

Good for you @PawPatrol24 for giving it a shot! You have to be brave to have a wonderful life. His loss (we was probably a dodgy chancer and you dodged a bullet - might as well think about it that way!) Grin

SleepingStandingUp · 22/01/2021 00:03

easiest thing to do for these innocent chatty types would be to drop in a mention of your wife during their long chats, surely I'd be really embarrassed for him if my DH thought he was so irresistible cent be had to drop me in to diversion to avoid someone throwing themselves at him unless bed had repeated over friendly texts.

Oh so do o need a new boiler?
Yes love. My wife had a new boiler once. It's what keeps the spark alive on the bedroom!

Jellykat · 22/01/2021 00:22

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.. onwards! Grin

PigletJohn · 22/01/2021 01:45

Many people have unrealistic expectations of plumbers, gained from Swedish films.

They won't come to your house for days after you call, if ever, and they smell of drains and boss-white.

Bluntness100 · 22/01/2021 01:53

Yes, the op has clearly met a rare one. Bit surprised at all the women giving it “my husband gets hit on all the time” tinkly laugh.

Yeah, sure he does, 😂

Lofari · 22/01/2021 02:33

I think you are ace OP. You saw a chance, you took a risk. No harm done.

CatAndHisKit · 22/01/2021 02:53

That they should drop their partners into conversation when they talk to other men 🙄 it’s perfectly possible that the op built this up in her head to be something it wasn’t.

But the plumber specifically mentioned to OP that he's not with his DC's mother - why would he do that in a 'friendly chat'?
If that;s not a come-on, I don't know what is! (on top of being flirty).

Givemeabreak88 · 22/01/2021 03:05

The Tesco’s delivery driver was telling me about his ex the other day, does that mean he was coming on to me?? He saw my cat and commented that his ex use to have loads of cats, does that mean he was dropping hints that he was single? honestly some people will insist on trying to turn nothing into something and say it’s flirting, stop reading too much into things, bloody hell telling someone you are not with the mother/father of your child isn’t flirting

Inkpaperstars · 22/01/2021 04:02

I agree it would have been polite to reply in some way but there are so many reasons he might have not done so, or not accepted the offer...no point second guessing as we have no idea about him or his life. The takeaway is that it is great you are feeling more confident OP and put yourself out there, at some point that reap rewards so well done.

Nicolastuffedone · 22/01/2021 05:47

Not with his children’s doesn’t mean he hasn’t got a partner though! The op isn’t with her child’s father......

Bahhhhhumbug · 22/01/2021 06:36

What's done is done as you say OP, but if he was a chatty person saying things like you're a full time mum and telling you he's got three kids but not with their mum, then l think l would've delved a little further about any possible partner by maybe asking how he gets on for childcare maybe, when he's working or some other roundabout way, or even sympathised with his splitting up with their mum and said it's not easy to meet someone as a single parent is it. Anything that gave him easy opportunity to throw in that he had a gf now.
But it's done now. My DH works in building trade and he's been asked out a few times, so he always casually mentions the wife if a conversation is heading that way to save embarrassment. He hot one once though who still asked him out, he sent a colleague next visit, think she scared him to death Grin

Justa47 · 22/01/2021 07:16

@PawPatrol24

I had an very sexi guy delivering ocado stuff yesterday! Lock down driving me nuts!

SpeckledyHen · 22/01/2021 08:16

Well done for giving it a go OP .

pictish · 22/01/2021 08:34

@CatAndHisKit

That they should drop their partners into conversation when they talk to other men 🙄 it’s perfectly possible that the op built this up in her head to be something it wasn’t.

But the plumber specifically mentioned to OP that he's not with his DC's mother - why would he do that in a 'friendly chat'?
If that;s not a come-on, I don't know what is! (on top of being flirty).

Telling someone that you have children but you’re not with the mum is not assumed as a come on! What?? It’s banal conversation, a statement of facts. You’re right...you don’t know what a come on is.

And some people’s ‘flirty’ is other people’s ’friendly’. You only have to read the boards here to know how those signals are commonly misinterpreted. I have been accused of flirting a couple of times when I know I was simply making conversation.

LittleRen · 22/01/2021 09:01

I’m sorry it didn’t work out op.

However I’m generalising but I have had tons of workmen in the house over the last year - normally I am on my own or husband wfh elsewhere in house. The majority like a good flirt - and I probably flirt back a little.

SoupDragon · 22/01/2021 09:15

When a woman receives a text like this from a male tradesman they are advised to block him and complain to his boss. I don't agree with this at all and see nothing wrong with a one off text like that, but the difference between those threads and this one is laughable!

Bananacookie · 22/01/2021 09:18

I fancied My neighbours patio man last year. I added him on Facebook after the job was finished and it turned out he liked me aswel. We've been in contact none stop for three months. It's kinda weird because he's seen me but we've not met up yet since confessing we fancied eachother. So I'm also like a 16 Year old (32 with 2 kids) and he's mid 40s.

Sometimes workmen are bubbly and friendly. But in my case I was reading his signals right. X

dottiedodah · 22/01/2021 09:23

Maybe he is a little worried about being seen as overly friendly?Could get in trouble with his boss if he takes it further? Probably liked you too.Many tradesmen have plenty to say ,and are not often lost for words TBH! Can seem flirty and could have fancied you but maybe as I say his company may frown on RL IFYSWIM. Never mind OP nothing ventured and all that!

LookofEvaBraun · 22/01/2021 09:35

Op your post reminded me of when I had a crush on a plumber 19 years ago. He was so friendly, I was writing my Christmas cards whilst he was working. I was trying to drop hints in the conversation about Christmas to ascertain whether he was single. This was pre WhatsApp. I wouldn't have been brave enough to msg him but there was lots of eye contact. It was hard not to look into his big blue eyes...

Bluntness100 · 22/01/2021 09:37

But the plumber specifically mentioned to OP that he's not with his DC's mother - why would he do that in a 'friendly chat'?

But it’s quite a normal thing to do.

“That’s great your here, it’s hard being a single parent”
“Yes, I’ve got three and am not with the mother, but we try to manage it as best as we can”

This is not a come on.

thebestnamehere · 22/01/2021 09:56

I think he is a good looking guy, and likes the attention. Chances are he has a girlfriend because he is good looking and likes a flirt as you found out. He has lots of chances because of his job.
Don't feel bad. Worst case scenario if you did end up with him, could you trust him? Probably end up on Mumsnet in 3 years time because he has left you for another customer!!!!

WhingingGiraffe · 22/01/2021 10:16

I think he is a good looking guy, and likes the attention. Chances are he has a girlfriend because he is good looking and likes a flirt as you found out.

sounds like he was being friendly, as most tradespeople are, not sure where you get that he liked the attention, or was flirting.

OP seems to have projected massively - these kind of fantasies are nice, but leave them at that!

Just imagining how it would go down on here if a female plumber came on to say she had received a text asking her out from a client. Sigh. This place is so strange sometimes.

cherrypop86 · 22/01/2021 10:17

Being good looking doesn't mean you're untrustworthy. I don't think anything OP has said about him makes him seem that way.

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