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Original poster

I fancy the plumber. HELP!

557 replies

PawPatrol24 · 19/01/2021 22:06

Recently single 26 year old Mumma here.
This particular plumber has come over twice the past 2/3 months to help with various things around my rented place.

He is is absolutely stunning. In his 30's. Three children. Not with the mother, but no idea of any girlfriend. Lovely to my very chatty, curious 3yo (obviously having seen her when fixing up the place).

I am sure there is a little chemistry but I'm not sure if I'm projecting. Something in the way he mentioned me being a full-time Mum, the smile on his face as he left and mentioning he's not with the mother.

He's said he'd keep me updated with various bits that need doing. Everyone says to see if he followed through with this but I can't eat or sleep properly. I feel like a 16 year old girl again!
I don't wanna step on no ones toes, but I also don't want to waste an opportunity.

Advice?!

OP posts:
Bearnecessity · 21/01/2021 21:19

Go careful....he is probably like this with two thirds of his lone female customers. I had this with a heating engineer a few years back, it took everything I had to ignore the incredible sexual tension in the room and when he brushed right up against me and looked me direct in the eye and paused .....well my knees nearly gave way....so glad I did walk away tho' I am sure we are just easy prey.

toocold54 · 21/01/2021 21:21

I agree with you to not text him again OP.

Anyone would be flattered getting a text like that and would probably text back even if it was to say they had a gf or whatever.

I would have thought the phone number would be a business number so either he hadn’t checked it properly or he’s worried about having an informal convo on it as it gets checked and he could get in trouble mixing business with pleasure Grin

toocold54 · 21/01/2021 21:24

Go careful....he is probably like this with two thirds of his lone female customers.

I’ve had this twice in the past week one was an electrician and one was a damp inspector.
Either they were giving off flirty signals or I’ve been single for too long/been watching to much porn Grin

I’m hoping OP has a happy ending on this one though!

Mermaidwaves · 21/01/2021 21:32

OP you're great and sound really sensible Smile

Not to be a wet blanket but surely if its a work phone and he's not allowed to use it for personal messages he could have noted down OPs number and text from his own phone.

Peppafrig · 21/01/2021 21:38

@AnnabelleMarx

Oh what a shame. At least one good thing is that you tried, and even though it did not go as you would have liked, you know now that you can survive the attempt and so can try again when you next meet someone you fancy.

Not loving all the chortling from wives of ‘silly’ men who are just so ‘friendly and chatty’ they don’t realise how they come across and end up deleting and ignoring similar messages.....easiest thing to do for these innocent chatty types would be to drop in a mention of your wife during their long chats, surely? They’d lose the ego boost of the text asking them out....but currently they’re only getting that at the expense of the embarrassment and hurt feelings on the part of woman involved. Time to be less of a dick, I would have thought.

Ok so every time we have a worker in our house we should be mentioning our partners ? That’s comical . Should I also tell the postman and the amazon delivery driver. It’s perfectly acceptable to have a conversation with someone without having to disclose our material status. But obviously it’s all the mans fault. As someone said he just might not fancy her . The OP thought he fancied her as he was chatty and smiled when he left. All perfectly innocent things to do . He shouldn’t have to respond to the text either even to say he has a partner . He would just ignore and remain professional.
lavenderlove · 21/01/2021 21:38

Hm it would be nice of him to text back even if he felt uncomfortable saying he's not interested a white lie of "thanks but I'm seeing someone at the minute" would be kinder than no reply!

EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide · 21/01/2021 21:39

Definitely don't waste any more time on him. His loss!

Russellbrandshair · 21/01/2021 21:43

Ok so every time we have a worker in our house we should be mentioning our partners ? That’s comical
I agree! The OP has done nothing wrong but equally, I don’t mention I’m married in every interaction I have with another man because I’m not so arrogant as to think every man I meet is lusting after me lol.
If a man came onto me of course I’d tell him I’m married but it would be fcking weird to mention it when you’ve only just met someone fgs!

“Hello! IM MARRIED! How are you?”

Lol

Noshowlomo · 21/01/2021 21:48

I admire your balls OP.

Thewinterofdiscontent · 21/01/2021 21:59

I was going to say DON’T TEXT because it doesn’t work. Then saw you were 16 pages in and had done it already.

Why would you not wait until he asked you out? Then you would know he wanted a date, had enough genuine interest to ask you and he carries all the risk of you saying no.

Literally nothing to gain by asking him. He might say yes to a date because he’s bored or fancies a shag rather than liking you. Obviously that might be the case if he asks you but at least you didn’t get hurt if he’s clearly a bell end.

BorderlineHappy · 21/01/2021 22:02

Why would you not wait until he asked you out? Then you would know he wanted a date, had enough genuine interest to ask you and he carries all the risk of you saying no.

Err cause its 2021 and she wanted too. 😂😂.
Go back to teh dark ages and wait for your knight in shining armour @Thewinterofdiscontent

Bluntness100 · 21/01/2021 22:02

@Thewinterofdiscontent

I was going to say DON’T TEXT because it doesn’t work. Then saw you were 16 pages in and had done it already.

Why would you not wait until he asked you out? Then you would know he wanted a date, had enough genuine interest to ask you and he carries all the risk of you saying no.

Literally nothing to gain by asking him. He might say yes to a date because he’s bored or fancies a shag rather than liking you. Obviously that might be the case if he asks you but at least you didn’t get hurt if he’s clearly a bell end.

Oh gosh, the 1950s called,,sigh

Nothing wrong with a woman asking a man out for goodness sake.

Thewinterofdiscontent · 21/01/2021 22:15

Nothing wrong if you can cope with the rejection. Not spend ages worryingly if the text was badly worded or if he got it at all.

Yeah it’s 1950’s except you don’t have to date them or feel grateful if they do ask you out.
You wait for them to ask you out because it’s the vetting process.
Step 1, they have to fancy you enough to ask you out.
Step 2 m do you like them enough to say yes, or go for a second date.

I bet the plumbers not on some forum telling everyone about the single mum he likes and asking for luck/advice.That was and still is the difference.

Bearnecessity · 21/01/2021 22:23

Your hilarious too cold...you here all week?

Mercifully, porn does nowt for me, my partner does tho' lone in the house not in life.😉

Bluntness100 · 21/01/2021 22:24

She didn’t spend ages worrying if he got it or if it was badly worded. She cracked on and was proud of herself.

The days of women needing to wait about for a man to ask them out is gone.

UmmH · 21/01/2021 22:40

Out of interest, how do you politely say no? "Thanks but no thanks" sounds a bit rude somehow... "Thanks, but I'm really busy with work?"

Bluntness100 · 21/01/2021 22:54

“Thanks but I’m involved”
“Thanks, but I’m unable to spare the time”
“Thanks for the offer, but no that won’t be possible”
“No, sorry, but thanks anyway”
“No, but it was nice to meet you”

JaimieLeeCurtains · 21/01/2021 22:54

'Thanks for the offer but I'm actually seeing someone. Take care, bye.'

^^ I have used something like that.

BubbleTeaJunkie · 21/01/2021 22:55

Intrigued to know if you ever get a response!

Thewinterofdiscontent · 21/01/2021 22:56

No ones saying you can’t ask them out, I’ve done so loads of times in the past.

It’s just not a great idea.

I don’t want the man that has only thought I might be good enough to go out with him when I ask him. Or the one that thought he wasn’t good enough.
I want the bloke that thinks he really wants to go out with me.

SmileyClare · 21/01/2021 22:57

Contact him again and say something along the lines of 'after you left I noticed a damp patch

Jesus I'm wincing! I know we're all short of entertainment in lockdown but some posters are getting themselves in far too much of a lather with really crap plumbing related sexual innuendos.Grin

Poor Op. I can see why the poster who had a thread about fancying her green eyed gardener felt obliged to make up a whole tale of dates, passion, marriage and a baby. that was made up right? It got very far fetched very quickly

mistletoeandsigh · 21/01/2021 22:59

@UmmH

Out of interest, how do you politely say no? "Thanks but no thanks" sounds a bit rude somehow... "Thanks, but I'm really busy with work?"
I'm really clear normally with a no, and if the reason I don't want to go out with them is that I'm not attracted to them, I say it as kindly as I can.
toocold54 · 21/01/2021 23:01

Your hilarious too cold...you here all week?

Did I say something funny? I didn’t mean it to be haha

toocold54 · 21/01/2021 23:05

Why would you not wait until he asked you out? Then you would know he wanted a date, had enough genuine interest to ask you and he carries all the risk of you saying no.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a women asking a man out BUT I agree that I would have waited for him to ask me simply because she was his customer and has said she may need him to come back to work so it makes him awkward for him. As a female it’s frustrating being hit on by every male customer.
Although I doubt he would ever do that if he is professional so OP would have had to do it eventually and maybe it is better to get it over and done with so she knows where she stands.

ShopoholicIn · 21/01/2021 23:24

@PawPatrol24.. you have the right approach dear.. no point in chasing after him. If he is allowed or not to date customers, or he was busy he could have mentioned on his response. What matters is what you get out of this, and that's a massive confidence booster.. whatever the result you asked him that is worthy of applaud.

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