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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I fancy the plumber. HELP!

557 replies

PawPatrol24 · 19/01/2021 22:06

Recently single 26 year old Mumma here.
This particular plumber has come over twice the past 2/3 months to help with various things around my rented place.

He is is absolutely stunning. In his 30's. Three children. Not with the mother, but no idea of any girlfriend. Lovely to my very chatty, curious 3yo (obviously having seen her when fixing up the place).

I am sure there is a little chemistry but I'm not sure if I'm projecting. Something in the way he mentioned me being a full-time Mum, the smile on his face as he left and mentioning he's not with the mother.

He's said he'd keep me updated with various bits that need doing. Everyone says to see if he followed through with this but I can't eat or sleep properly. I feel like a 16 year old girl again!
I don't wanna step on no ones toes, but I also don't want to waste an opportunity.

Advice?!

OP posts:
CharlotteRose90 · 21/01/2021 16:33

@AKissAndASmile

However my ex partner had a work phone for the day he was on call and would always tell me don’t text him on that number after his shift as they wipe the messages and pass it on to the next person.

This doesn't sound believable. Why would a business wipe messages without passing it on to the intended recipient? Mental way to do business.

He works for the police so any personal messages get erased. You’re not meant to use it but most do so messages get deleted after the shift.
JaimieLeeCurtains · 21/01/2021 17:39

Sorry for the digression, but ... The way police use phones is nuts. I had a work call once from an officer about some routine community business to do with my job, and I was in a meeting so he left a message. I texted him back on that phone number to say that I would be free to talk the next morning at X o'clock.

When he rang me he was really arsey. Where had I got his private number from? Did I not realise I'd put him a terrible position with his wife?

Bloody hell. Awkward. I just calmly repeated 'It was the number you called me on' but he stayed arsey. Probably had his wife there.

Maves · 21/01/2021 17:50

Been following this and no one should have advised op to have txt him....she is his client technically and it could have caused a whole heap of shit for him.
My guess is that he is actually married/partner and does live with his kid, and loves the attention and flirt with his customers. Hope I'm wrong for op sake or it's gonna be awks when he comes round again.

Original poster
PawPatrol24 · 21/01/2021 17:50

@JaimieLeeCurtains

Sorry for the digression, but ... The way police use phones is nuts. I had a work call once from an officer about some routine community business to do with my job, and I was in a meeting so he left a message. I texted him back on that phone number to say that I would be free to talk the next morning at X o'clock.

When he rang me he was really arsey. Where had I got his private number from? Did I not realise I'd put him a terrible position with his wife?

Bloody hell. Awkward. I just calmly repeated 'It was the number you called me on' but he stayed arsey. Probably had his wife there.

Why ring from his personal number then, if he didn't want you contacting him on it? He should have gone back to the office and used one of the police phones.
OP posts:
Maves · 21/01/2021 17:51

@JaimieLeeCurtains I've experienced something similar!

JaimieLeeCurtains · 21/01/2021 18:17

I know, @PawPatrol24, it was his mistake, but he didn't seem to want to admit it for some reason!

I've had periods where I've had a work mobile and a personal mobile and was very careful about keeping them separate.

@Maves, I do wonder how common it is. Humans always have mix-ups, but I didn't like the implication that I somehow obtained his number by stealth!

FanOfTheCheese · 21/01/2021 18:22

This is weird for me as Dh is a plumber 😂
I see it from both side my Dh is a very friendly, kind bloke and he’s had a few message in his time ‘nice to chat to you today would love to meet up some time’ etc etc but he’s not flirty he’s just chatty.
Anyway he’s always deleted and ignored these messages.
But on the other hand you waiting for a reply I think it would have kinder for him to text back I’m married etc

Whoever said it’s like tinder you’re not wrong one of dh’s co/workers recently left his wife for a customer and another got sacked after he was caught in a compromising position by a customer husband and when his phone was checked he was sending out a lot of ‘pipe’ pictures
Dirty dog

Givemeabreak88 · 21/01/2021 18:38

Been following this and no one should have advised op to have txt him.

I agree, but people always egg the op on on these threads, I don’t think she should have sent a text either, if he liked her I’m sure he would have made it known which he obviously didn’t.

CharlotteRose90 · 21/01/2021 18:46

@JaimieLeeCurtains

Sorry for the digression, but ... The way police use phones is nuts. I had a work call once from an officer about some routine community business to do with my job, and I was in a meeting so he left a message. I texted him back on that phone number to say that I would be free to talk the next morning at X o'clock.

When he rang me he was really arsey. Where had I got his private number from? Did I not realise I'd put him a terrible position with his wife?

Bloody hell. Awkward. I just calmly repeated 'It was the number you called me on' but he stayed arsey. Probably had his wife there.

Haha yes it is. My ex had a normal one and a work phone. Used to baffle me that they didn’t just get a work phone for them and no one else. Yeah my guess in that case was his wife saw it and flipped 🤣🤣. Officers are known to have affairs. I rang my ex’s number once at work over something and had to explain to his Sargent why i needed him.
Throwntothewolves · 21/01/2021 18:58

Maybe he blocks numbers from he's previously called/texted when he's not working. Or maybe he deletes messages from unknown numbers because clients contact him a lot.

My DH used to have to call or message people to arrange times to come and do work for them. The company didn't give out work mobiles so he had to use his own.
He learnt quickly if he didn't block the customers numbers as soon as the job was done they would call him, instead of the company again and again to ask questions or to try and bypass the system to get additional work done more quickly or for free.

warriorwomanx · 21/01/2021 19:09

Ah go on girl! Never mind, at least you took the plunge!
I did this once, with a guy in Tesco's. It was my birthday so I was feeling good. He came up on my people I know on Facebook.
He said he had a girlfriend but his status was single Grin I never took it to heart and still chuckle about it now

Escourtie · 21/01/2021 19:32

i bet its a work phone that someone else has today hence no pic on Whatsapp

MrsWindass · 21/01/2021 19:45

[quote TheRealLadyWhistledown]@MrsWindass do you fancy Gary Windass? Just wondering because of your username![/quote]
Im just married to him as you are to Lord Whistledown Grin

TheDuchess2 · 21/01/2021 19:59

Hang on ... I'm with Lord Whistledown. I think he's cheating and will have to start a thread about it Smile

Seriously though, well done OP for sending that text to the hot plumber.

TheScurrilousFunge · 21/01/2021 20:03

I think you've done the right thing on both counts. You shot your shot in a respectful, unobtrusive way, and you're now leaving the ball in his court to go further. You've got a lot to be proud of!

Backtoblack1 · 21/01/2021 20:20

Oh I really want there to be a happy ending to this!!!

Coopz · 21/01/2021 20:23

@Escourtie

i bet its a work phone that someone else has today hence no pic on Whatsapp
That's not true. As someone else has said, you can set your WhatsApp to only show your pic to contacts in your phone.

I applaud the OP for giving it a shot, but he doesn't owe her a reply. And I wouldn't be surprised if the next time she needs a plumber, they send someone else. As other have said, if the sexes were reversed, there'd be outrage that a guy had done this.

Peppafrig · 21/01/2021 20:23

It was worth the try OP worth putting yourself out there . He might not have been with the mother of his children but had a girlfriend.

Peppafrig · 21/01/2021 20:26

@Coopz now you mention it you do have a good point . If the plumber had been female and the roles reversed we would all be saying to block him as it was so inappropriate.

lifeinlimbo2020 · 21/01/2021 20:30

I've got a few friends that ONLY use WhatsApp. Never use messenger. Just a thought.

NoProblem123 · 21/01/2021 20:46

The loveliest thread I’ve read in ages.
OP you sound awesome- well done on going after something you wanted, that’s always attractive.
His loss x

AnnabelleMarx · 21/01/2021 20:57

Oh what a shame. At least one good thing is that you tried, and even though it did not go as you would have liked, you know now that you can survive the attempt and so can try again when you next meet someone you fancy.

Not loving all the chortling from wives of ‘silly’ men who are just so ‘friendly and chatty’ they don’t realise how they come across and end up deleting and ignoring similar messages.....easiest thing to do for these innocent chatty types would be to drop in a mention of your wife during their long chats, surely? They’d lose the ego boost of the text asking them out....but currently they’re only getting that at the expense of the embarrassment and hurt feelings on the part of woman involved. Time to be less of a dick, I would have thought.

TwinkleStar88 · 21/01/2021 21:05

OP there could be many reasons, like not wanting to mix work with clients, he has a partner, or maybe he was happy being single but well done for plucking up the courage and messaging him, it still would have been nice if he acknowledged your message. Someone will come along one day, who is right for you Smile

Givemeabreak88 · 21/01/2021 21:17

AnnabelleMarx

Do you think the same about women?? That they should drop their partners into conversation when they talk to other men 🙄 it’s perfectly possible that the op built this up in her head to be something it wasn’t. He might not have a girlfriend why do people assume because he hasn’t text back he has a girlfriend , he might just not fancy the op!

Russellbrandshair · 21/01/2021 21:17

Could you contact him again and say something along the lines of 'After you left last time I noticed a damp patch....' blush

Omg do NOT do this- he hasn’t replied to your last text, this makes you seem absolutely desperate ffs. If a man did this we’d all be saying how pathetic he is!

You did good OP, you tried, it didn’t work out. Leave it there. Better to regret something you have done than to wonder what if.......

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