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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I fancy the plumber. HELP!

557 replies

PawPatrol24 · 19/01/2021 22:06

Recently single 26 year old Mumma here.
This particular plumber has come over twice the past 2/3 months to help with various things around my rented place.

He is is absolutely stunning. In his 30's. Three children. Not with the mother, but no idea of any girlfriend. Lovely to my very chatty, curious 3yo (obviously having seen her when fixing up the place).

I am sure there is a little chemistry but I'm not sure if I'm projecting. Something in the way he mentioned me being a full-time Mum, the smile on his face as he left and mentioning he's not with the mother.

He's said he'd keep me updated with various bits that need doing. Everyone says to see if he followed through with this but I can't eat or sleep properly. I feel like a 16 year old girl again!
I don't wanna step on no ones toes, but I also don't want to waste an opportunity.

Advice?!

OP posts:
AmywithanL · 20/01/2021 23:39

Hmm just looking again at my friends details, if O go into her details on whatsapp like the picture you showed its says business account on there and tells me what type of business so it doesnt loom as though ‘plumber’ is a business account HOWEVER its by the by....

You ceased the momen! and now lets wait and see what happens. Either way don’t be put off from grabbing the bull by its horns again in the future. If something is meant to be it will happen. Xx

AmywithanL · 20/01/2021 23:41

Sorry, lots of typos in there Blush

littlepeaegg · 20/01/2021 23:47

Shamelessly place marking!!

WildHorsesRunInMe · 21/01/2021 00:26

Any reply OP? Good on you for putting yourself out there after your last relationship

WildHorsesRunInMe · 21/01/2021 00:31

Sorry didn't RTFT. Not sure why he would keep you hanging. It's either a yes or a no Confused it could also be that he hasn't seen the message for whatever reason but I don't think that's likely

greendress789 · 21/01/2021 00:33

@CraftyYankee

Wasn't that the GEG thread, green eyed something, gardner maybe? I think last I heard of that poster they were married and she was pg. 😇😁
Think that turned out to be fake...
Cbd333 · 21/01/2021 00:35

@PawPatrol24 sorry if someone else has asked this and I've missed it - has the message for two blue ticks next to it?

Whatatune · 21/01/2021 01:25

@WildHorsesRunInMe

Sorry didn't RTFT. Not sure why he would keep you hanging. It's either a yes or a no Confused it could also be that he hasn't seen the message for whatever reason but I don't think that's likely
And he has an easy out as they haven't discussed if he's single he could let her down gently by saying he's seeing someone.
Onthedunes · 21/01/2021 01:45

By the sounds of it, you texted, quite late in the evening. He was probably asleep and his partner may may have seen/read the message.

He could be getting a hard time for this and thats why you probably have not got any reponse.

You will get your explanation when he turns up next time to do work on your property.

In future text in the day, more likely to get an answer or explanation.

yvanka · 21/01/2021 02:10

Can someone please link the green eyed gardener thread?

CatAndHisKit · 21/01/2021 02:49

I think he may have missed the text or is taking his time to reply.
If nothing happens within couple of days, I'd text again in the daytime asking if he's seen your text. And add 'if you did, don't worry, I was just looking for yes or no, so I'm just checking if you saw it'.
I think that's assertive and would just sound like you don't want to sit and wait.

It could possibly be that phone was switched off and he got lots of texts from work etc in the morbing and yours got lost in that. If he does have a GF she may have seen it and deleted / questimed him. But I think it's likely he's just missed it.

CatAndHisKit · 21/01/2021 02:53

(and I think it's more likely because if it was the GF, he'd have replied tdhat he's not single or 'very busy' - why would he be silent!)

The fact he specifically mentioned he wasn't with his DC's mother, shows he was encouraging you.

InvisibleMoonDancer · 21/01/2021 03:53

Still hoping there's a reasonable excuse as to why he hasn't replied yet and it all works out for you.

FuriousWithTheNHS · 21/01/2021 04:05

Don't do that. Your poor landlord is paying for all these call outs.

Thank you for pointing this out. As a landlord who often has to foot the bill callouts that have turned out to be unnecessary I was reading this thread and all the only-half-joking suggestions with increasing horror.

hashbrownsandwich · 21/01/2021 06:16

At the risk of being a stalker do you know his surname for Facebook stalking purposes?

missrm · 21/01/2021 06:54

@CatAndHisKit

I think he may have missed the text or is taking his time to reply. If nothing happens within couple of days, I'd text again in the daytime asking if he's seen your text. And add 'if you did, don't worry, I was just looking for yes or no, so I'm just checking if you saw it'. I think that's assertive and would just sound like you don't want to sit and wait.

It could possibly be that phone was switched off and he got lots of texts from work etc in the morbing and yours got lost in that. If he does have a GF she may have seen it and deleted / questimed him. But I think it's likely he's just missed it.

PLEASE don't do this. Please.
almostfriday · 21/01/2021 07:03

I fancy mine as well. Smile

Bluntness100 · 21/01/2021 07:06

@CatAndHisKit

I think he may have missed the text or is taking his time to reply. If nothing happens within couple of days, I'd text again in the daytime asking if he's seen your text. And add 'if you did, don't worry, I was just looking for yes or no, so I'm just checking if you saw it'. I think that's assertive and would just sound like you don't want to sit and wait.

It could possibly be that phone was switched off and he got lots of texts from work etc in the morbing and yours got lost in that. If he does have a GF she may have seen it and deleted / questimed him. But I think it's likely he's just missed it.

Oh god, really don’t do this.
Onthedunes · 21/01/2021 07:33

You state that he is not with his children's mother but he could still have a girlfriend.

I don't blame ladies for taking chances and making the first move but I used to work in a building suppliers/plumbing merchants and the men that would come in chatting about various women that had come on to them was enlightening, to say the least.
It was really quite grim how they were spoken of ,especially the divorced women who they knew were after the knight in shinning amour type man, or someone they thought could provide a cheaper job for them if they befriended them.
The problem is that when someone enters the threshold of your house, peoples guards are down, you feel they instantly know you and are friendly.
Please don't contact him, wait for his response.
The things I,ve heard really would make your toes curl.

lunalulu · 21/01/2021 07:37

I think he may have missed the text or is taking his time to reply.
If nothing happens within couple of days, I'd text again in the daytime asking if he's seen your text. And add 'if you did, don't worry, I was just looking for yes or no, so I'm just checking if you saw it'.
I think that's assertive and would just sound like you don't want to sit and wait.

Sorry but sexy young plumbers don't miss What's App messages from clients asking them if they'd like a 'cup of tea/coffee' ...

I'm with Bluntness here - please omg please no do NOT send a message asking if he saw it and chivvying him to reply!!!

He hasn't replied because he doesn't want to. Doesn't want to reply and doesn't want tea or coffee or anything. I'm v sorry but that's what the radio silence is meant to signify.

Sorry but have to say sending him a message asking for a sort of date just isn't really the protocol ... you should have said you had an urgent problem with the boiler then made him the cup of tea (in your negligee) 🤦‍♀️

He probably wouldn't come now even to the boiler so if you really really can't bear no closure then just CALL him and say hi sorry don't know if you got my message but sorry as I was just asking you over because have a few more plumbing issues and was thinking about replacing all my radiators with fancy ones and wanted to talk to you about it, if you have time ....
(and meanwhile take out a loan to pay for the work so you can keep seeing him 😬) ...

You have to diffuse this awkward 'date request' vibe. Remove it. I saw you were going to text him and was going to advise what then saw to my horror what you'd sent. V sorry but it's put him off.

And yes of course he v most probably has a gf or wife if he's that sexy.

Only chance is having him do some work then you can establish more details.

lunalulu · 21/01/2021 07:40

@Onthedunes

You state that he is not with his children's mother but he could still have a girlfriend.

I don't blame ladies for taking chances and making the first move but I used to work in a building suppliers/plumbing merchants and the men that would come in chatting about various women that had come on to them was enlightening, to say the least.
It was really quite grim how they were spoken of ,especially the divorced women who they knew were after the knight in shinning amour type man, or someone they thought could provide a cheaper job for them if they befriended them.
The problem is that when someone enters the threshold of your house, peoples guards are down, you feel they instantly know you and are friendly.
Please don't contact him, wait for his response.
The things I,ve heard really would make your toes curl.

Yes I too have inside info and yes they find out on their raucous stories about female clients desperate for them. Especially any single women.

They know you want them. This whole builders plumbers thing is like a kind of domestic Deliveroo tinder. Really.

SkeletorAttack · 21/01/2021 07:41

@CatAndHisKit

I think he may have missed the text or is taking his time to reply. If nothing happens within couple of days, I'd text again in the daytime asking if he's seen your text. And add 'if you did, don't worry, I was just looking for yes or no, so I'm just checking if you saw it'. I think that's assertive and would just sound like you don't want to sit and wait.

It could possibly be that phone was switched off and he got lots of texts from work etc in the morbing and yours got lost in that. If he does have a GF she may have seen it and deleted / questimed him. But I think it's likely he's just missed it.

Please DO NOT do this - so desperate.

Actually setting my teeth on edge thinking about it Confused

lunalulu · 21/01/2021 07:41

Typo - they DINE out on their raucous stories!!

Doingitaloneandproud · 21/01/2021 07:45

Just read the thread, well done on giving it a go! You had nothing to lose and gave it a shot. Don't text him again, it looks desperate and he isn't a friend, he's someone employed to come to the house.
Maybe he'll text you, but if he hasn't by now there's a good chance he's just not interested in you, as harsh as that sounds.
Just feel proud either way (if he texts or not) that you put yourself out there Smile

Original poster
PawPatrol24 · 21/01/2021 08:37

I'm not texting him again. I did state that in a previous message on this thread. It is very clear he isn't interested. It's not fair to make someone feel uncomfortable like that. And anyways, if it was a man that kept pestering a woman for a date or something if the kind, that would be seen as harassment.
I don't see anything with asking once, but anything more than that is a massive no no.

@lunalulu. Maybe you're right, but what is done, is done. I'm not about to get hold of him again because I think whatever I say will just make the whole situation worse, especially if he has a gf. She wouldn't take kindly to the stranger to asked him on a date calling him up XD
I'm just gonna leave it. What is done, is done.

OP posts: