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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I fancy the plumber. HELP!

557 replies

PawPatrol24 · 19/01/2021 22:06

Recently single 26 year old Mumma here.
This particular plumber has come over twice the past 2/3 months to help with various things around my rented place.

He is is absolutely stunning. In his 30's. Three children. Not with the mother, but no idea of any girlfriend. Lovely to my very chatty, curious 3yo (obviously having seen her when fixing up the place).

I am sure there is a little chemistry but I'm not sure if I'm projecting. Something in the way he mentioned me being a full-time Mum, the smile on his face as he left and mentioning he's not with the mother.

He's said he'd keep me updated with various bits that need doing. Everyone says to see if he followed through with this but I can't eat or sleep properly. I feel like a 16 year old girl again!
I don't wanna step on no ones toes, but I also don't want to waste an opportunity.

Advice?!

OP posts:
havecourage8bekind · 20/01/2021 18:39

As someone that's been on the other end of a really creepy Sainsbury's delivery driver...it's different. She hasn't broken any GDPR rules or anything, has taken his number from any confidential paperwork.

havecourage8bekind · 20/01/2021 18:39

*hasn't

Faerysmoke · 20/01/2021 18:44

How can you be so sure? I don't think he is.

You messaged after bed-time last night, then he's up early for work. He's probably only just got home. Not everyone replies to texts instantly and especially when someone has asked you out. A lot of people have a rule of not replying til the next day so the prime response moment is this evening, no earlier than that. However, if it doesn't happen this evening then it's not happening.

FelicityWhiskers · 20/01/2021 18:44

Why is he a twat for not responding to an unsolicited message asking him out? Would a woman also be a twat for not responding to a text from the creepy gardener? The Amazon delivery guy? The bloke who'd come round to fix the boiler and, just because he happened to have his clients number, he used it to ask her out?

No, of course not.

I don't think the OP did anything wrong. Why not give it a go? But he's not replied and basically, no answer is his answer

Givemeabreak88 · 20/01/2021 18:45

Yes it’s different but still if it was a woman working for a man, say a man had employed a cleaner then he decided he fancied her and text her to ask her out but she didn’t feel the same, no one would say she owes him a reply would they?! She would be advised to block him and not go back there!

SmileyClare · 20/01/2021 18:46

it could be a communal phone for the company

Oh good Lord. You might have his much older boss turning up in a very tight boiler suit for that cup of tea instead. Grin

missrm · 20/01/2021 18:53

I was just pointing out about the gender thing. It's not got my kickers in a twist or anything, a mere observation on mumsnet behaviours.

You're obviously not a danger to him. Through reading your posts you'll take it like a champ and keep your head up and not badger him about it.

X

butterpuffed · 20/01/2021 18:58

@SmileyClare

it could be a communal phone for the company

Oh good Lord. You might have his much older boss turning up in a very tight boiler suit for that cup of tea instead. Grin

Or it could be a friend's phone he rang from , wasn't necessarily his !
BooBahBoo · 20/01/2021 19:09

Can we stop acting like he's going to reply? We all know how this game goes. He had all day and didn't reply. No one is that busy. He's been online, as well. That's all there is to it.

Stop building up false hope. It's a bit cruel, if anything. Fair play to OP for having a go but he clearly isn't interested so let it go. Stop creating scenarios which have about a one percent chance of happening. Envy

Sexnotgender · 20/01/2021 19:14

Sorry he didn’t reply. Hopefully next time your boiler breaks it’s not too awkward Blush

imalmosthere · 20/01/2021 19:16

@BooBahBoo

Can we stop acting like he's going to reply? We all know how this game goes. He had all day and didn't reply. No one is that busy. He's been online, as well. That's all there is to it.

Stop building up false hope. It's a bit cruel, if anything. Fair play to OP for having a go but he clearly isn't interested so let it go. Stop creating scenarios which have about a one percent chance of happening. Envy

Bet you're fun at a party
Original poster
PawPatrol24 · 20/01/2021 19:20

@BooBahBoo

Can we stop acting like he's going to reply? We all know how this game goes. He had all day and didn't reply. No one is that busy. He's been online, as well. That's all there is to it.

Stop building up false hope. It's a bit cruel, if anything. Fair play to OP for having a go but he clearly isn't interested so let it go. Stop creating scenarios which have about a one percent chance of happening. Envy

Haha! Don't worry. I know nothing is going to come of it.

As for everyone else who's been kind enough to comment. I don't think he's a bad, horrible person for not replying. I mean, it would have been nice for some kind of reply either way but that hasn't happened. He's clearly a man, busy making a living and isn't interested. I wish him all the best :)

I think it's nice to offer someone a "no thank you", but maybe that's just because I'm a people pleaser and I don't like upsetting anyone or making anyone feel bad?
At the end of the day, we're all different people with different approaches, right? What works for one won't work for another and that's okay.

OP posts:
imalmosthere · 20/01/2021 19:20

Op, firstly you're one of my fave people on mumsnet Wine
The fact you were ballsy enough to text, and then wrote that amazingly sassy reply about not letting anyone treat you like shit - seriously I would like you to be my friend. You are awesome.

I wouldn't lose all hope yet. Men are shit at replying. My fella didn't text back for like 4 days after our first message. We've now been together 12 years and we are married with two kids.

Either way, I think he was flirting and it's a lovely little confidence boost! You should be very proud of yourself. You went for it and you're dignified and sassy and we all think you're great. Have a glass of wine op, you deserve one!

Justa47 · 20/01/2021 19:37

@PawPatrol24

What’s the update?

Original poster
PawPatrol24 · 20/01/2021 19:38

[quote Justa47]@PawPatrol24

What’s the update?[/quote]
No reply x

OP posts:
Pebbledashery · 20/01/2021 19:48

Hi Op. Thank you for your refreshing thread. Its been lovely. You should be proud you took the leap of faith and messaged him. You had absolutely nothing to lose. I think it's maybe something to do with his contract with work.. That being said a very simple reply would be polite. He isn't obliged to reciprocate the feeling but a polite text back isn't an effort. His loss op xxx

Untangled87 · 20/01/2021 20:06

I genuinely think he might still reply. But then I’m saying that as someone who routinely takes 24 hours to reply to text messages, so it doesn’t seem that long to me. And if it were me I’d wait until the evening to reply when I was a bit more relaxed and could chat properly.

But if he doesn’t (and I guess it’s looking less likely now), well it can be really awkward turning someone down. Maybe he thinks it’s kinder to pretend your message never happened rather than having to tell you he’s not interested.

YRGAM · 20/01/2021 20:39

I still think he's going to reply later on

grassisjeweled · 20/01/2021 20:45

So you're not sure you actually texted him? It was a number he called from?

DuchessofHastings1 · 20/01/2021 20:49

I think it's really rude of him to reply.

Seems like he flirted with you a little. Of course it doesnt mean to say he wants you specifically, just a little flirt but he would know hes giving out signals and shouldn't have been surprised if you messaged him.

Oh well, his loss.

sickofit39 · 20/01/2021 20:53

Aww no I was hoping he'd reply 😳
Well done to you for trying..
I've a feeling he could be seeing someone he was probably sitting beside her when the message came through and she could have seen and that's why your getting no reply
I bet my rubber ducky on it x

hashbrownsandwich · 20/01/2021 20:54

Hold on, it might not even be the right number?!

FelicityWhiskers · 20/01/2021 21:03

@DuchessofHastings1 what a load of bollocks. Now post that again but this time, reverse the sexes

IthinkIm · 20/01/2021 21:05

I think he's got a gf.

Original poster
PawPatrol24 · 20/01/2021 21:07

@grassisjeweled

So you're not sure you actually texted him? It was a number he called from?
Well what other number would I have had? XD Bare in mind, the number had a Whatsapp account with no image and was online when I checked at one point.
OP posts: