He can't decide if he wants me or the other girls,walk away?

[Givemeoilinmylamp]

I'm dating ? Sleeping with? him.
We have been for 5 months now.
He has told me that he is also texting a few other women.
I'm driving myself into a bit of a tizzy.
I'm checking when he is online and I know he must be texting one of these other women.
When he was drunk last week he said "who would treat me better I wonder"
I know who these women are as he showed me them on Facebook.
So now I compare myself to them and check to see if he has liked any of their pics (sad I know)
What do I do ?
Do I walk away?
Before lockdown happened he went out for lunch with one of them (even tho I asked him not to go and come and see me instead )
It's really hammering my self esteem.
Do I walk away now? When it's only been a short time?

Tae fuck?

Don’t walk away!

Message him saying the following:-

“Hi Fred, Just to let you know that I’ve decided to commit to the other man I’ve been dating. You are a lovely guy but he and I just have a better sexual connection and that is very important to me. It has been great knowing you - I hope you find someone soon. All the best.”

And then block! And run!

With a bit of luck he will spend the next few months wondering if he is a crap shag.

[quote Givemeoilinmylamp]@youvegottenminuteslynn it does,I need to step away from it and also step away for dating till I sort my head out don't I.[/quote]
I think it would do you the world of good. If you're responding like this to such horrible behaviour then you're not in the right headspace to date healthily at all. When you get a chance, google the shark cage analogy as it sounds like it might really resonate with you.

What would you tell a friend/ sister on the situation? You'd tell them to run as far away as possible. He's having his cake and eating it with all of you. Send him a goodbye I've found someone who knows how to appreciate me and treat me the way I deserve. Then block.

This is an example OP:

www.oomm.live/the-shark-cage-metaphor-spotting-potential-abusers/

@Mumoftwoinprimary

Don’t walk away!

Message him saying the following:-

“Hi Fred, Just to let you know that I’ve decided to commit to the other man I’ve been dating. You are a lovely guy but he and I just have a better sexual connection and that is very important to me. It has been great knowing you - I hope you find someone soon. All the best.”

And then block! And run!

With a bit of luck he will spend the next few months wondering if he is a crap shag.

Yes, do this 👏👏👏

😂😂😂

God. I was embarrassed just reading this.

What the fuck are you doing? Seriously.

"It's really hammering my self esteem."
It's meant to. The lower he can get your self-esteem, the better - in his opinion. You really need to get away from this bloke, he's totally mindfucking you.

I am cringing for you. He saw you coming a mile off. Now prove him wrong and drop him like the hot turd he is.

Quickly, irrevocably and if you feel like it with just a little twist of what he has been doing to you. Mumoftwoinprimary got the tone just right.

He is big trouble. Don't feed his ego.

Jesus.

He's the type of guy that likes his women insecure, and will Say and do anything to make them feel crap and like he is the top dog.

I would text him and say lt was fun whilst it lasted, but I'm looking for something serious... So enjoy your abundance of women (you absolute hottie 😳) xx

I love the Fred message. Go with that OP.

I am probably old enough to be your mam and my heart aches for you and what you are going through with this awful man.

Love the 'Fred' idea, I would defo recommend you go that route.

Have some pride in yourself you clearly deserve so much better
Good Luck xx

I'm guessing you are young but maybe not. Anyway It was a good move to come on this site as the mumsnetters have given you really good advice.

Oh my God just ditch him. I can’t believe anyone would put up with that shit

Running away and block you are worth more than this OP.

I am worth more than this,he might have made me feel like I'm not but I am.
I know I'm a nice person,he should appreciate me but he doesn't.

you need to tell him to Get To Fuck... and block .. what a twat he is.. why would you want to be with someone that is such a Dick 🤔🙄

Whatever you do, please don't beg him to change or try to sweet talk him Into 'choosing' you. He is an absolute hole.
You can and will so better than him xx

“I know I'm a nice person,he should appreciate me but he doesn't.”

It’s not so much that he should appreciate you. No adult is obliged to care about, appreciate or value another adult. He doesn’t owe you a relationship any more than you owe him one. The point is that you should appreciate/value yourself enough to walk away from anyone who doesn’t care about, appreciate or value you enough. So the power is in fact in your hands, not his.

@topcat2014 - I'm 31 and feel the same. All these theatrics and dramatics are not for me. It's pretty simple really...if someone likes you and wants to be with you, they're pretty happy to be 'exclusive' right away.

Oh OP he sounds awful - like he is taunting you. In fact I find this pretty uncomfortable that he has shown you pictures and asking you your opinion on who will treat him better. He is inviting you and backing you in to the pick me dance because he is that arrogant he doesn't believe you will tell him to fuck off.

Surprise him and kick his ego right up his arse!

You've got this girl - do not waste a moment more on him x

@topcat2014

I am 50 this year, for context.

Once you asked someone out and they said yes you were going out and that was that.

When if ever did it become a thing to not assume the other person was not seeing anyone else.?

It's extraordinary isn't it.

30 years ago when I started dating my husband, I would have laughed if he had said he was dating other women too.......imagine 5 months later AFTER sleeping with him🤷🏻‍♀️

Unbelievable.
And I would have been unusual.

No matter how keen we might have been, we certainly wouldn't tolerate such bullshit.🙄

Wouldn't have been unusual!

He must have balls of solid gold and a cock formed of precious diamonds for you hang around him + even ask whether you should (pointlessly) do the pick me dance for such a bad bargain of a man. Or indeed, any man.

If you present yourself as low hanging fruit, the dregs men of society will surely find you.

Step back do some work on your self-esteem. Lots of online resources to help you with that. Then next time be with a man who wants what you want - a loving and exclusive relationship.

You won't find that if you hang around nonsense situations and people.