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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He dumped me and I sent begging texts ..what now?

129 replies

frostytheshowman · 07/01/2021 19:34

My boyfriend of 2 years dumped me.
He told me he met someone else,he has been texting her for months.
He did it by text.
Only after being distant and not coming over.
He stopped answering my calls and replying to my texts.
I sent him a long message asking why ? And how long ?
No reply
I sent another no reply
I sent another asking for a explanation telling him how hurt I was and just asking for a reason
No reply
Then he sent me a picture of a bunny and a pot and a laughing emoji
Then I sent another saying "I don't understand why you are being so cruel,I just wanted answers and you haven't even got the decency to do that.
No reply
How do I get some self respect back?
Make myself appear less crazy ?
Have I made a show of myself ?

OP posts:
StartJump · 08/01/2021 23:25

I didn’t think your texts were begging, just requesting an explanation.

He sounds unnecessarily cruel. You are well rid.

Terracottasaur · 09/01/2021 05:08

You haven’t been crazy or begged. He’s just been a total dickhead who behaved in a really disrespectful way.

redcarbluecar · 09/01/2021 05:15

You did nothing wrong OP, but stop contacting him now. You aren’t going to get any answers. Hope you have a mate or two to chat to.

zerrydeeer · 09/01/2021 05:27

You asking, repeatedly, for an answer, through numerous texts, isn't bunny boiler-ish. It's a natural reaction to being ignored. However, I would not engage anymore. It is so difficult, especially when all you want is closure but I would assume that him not responding, is the answer.

It's not about getting your dignity back; you are hurt and confused..normal feelings, given the situation. But if he can respond to your 'pleadings' with a childish emoji, but not properly respond to your texts with maturity, then that tells me he's enjoying your turmoil/attention a little bit too much Hmm

I would just take a step back and not engage further. Start the grieving process now, so that when he messages you for a second 'chance' (they nearly always do), you can happily ignore.

Knucklehead101 · 09/01/2021 05:32

You've had such brilliant advice, I've got nothing to add except a huuuuuuuge virtual hug. I ruddy love Mumsnet sometimes

virginpinkmartini · 09/01/2021 05:39

The fact that he hadn't blocked you shows that he is relishing your reaction. This means that when you cut him dead and stop engaging, his curiosity may be piqued and when shit hits the fan with the OW, he'll maybe come back and love bomb you. STAY STRONG if this happens, and get the best revenge in the world--continue to live your life and look good doing it. These arseholes can't stand their exes being happy when they were the ones who did the dumping. Their poor wee egos. Just please please please move on.

kestrelle · 09/01/2021 09:17

We all have the right to end a relationship without being harassed with texts demanding why. Not blocking you isn’t proof of anything. He may have had good reasons, which aren't apparent on here, for resorting to txt.

Original poster
frostytheshowman · 09/01/2021 09:28

He didn't just end it by text tho,he started not answering his phone,not texting.
Then made me feel guilty for asking what was wrong.
Surely after 2 years I deserved better than that.

OP posts:
kestrelle · 09/01/2021 10:00

Deserving = needy. Let him get on with what ever he wants to do.

Original poster
frostytheshowman · 09/01/2021 11:14

I disagree...in my opinion needy isn't wanting to be treated with a bit of respect .

OP posts:
user1471538283 · 09/01/2021 11:17

Of course you wanted an explanation but he will not give you one. Block him and move on. Your silence from now on will be powerful

Scbchl · 09/01/2021 11:18

Of course you havent made a show of yourself. After a relationship of two years you deserve more than one text dumping you. He has sent the pic of a bunny as he wants to make you look and feel like the one in the wrong when hes the one out of order. It's going to hurt for awhile but sounds like you deserve better.

RealisticSketch · 09/01/2021 12:22

@kestrelle

Deserving = needy. Let him get on with what ever he wants to do.
Ridiculous. Buy a dictionary. 'We all have a right to end a relationship by text without explanation' 😆😆😆 maybe if you're escaping abuse. Otherwise your 'right' to have a stone heart doesn't trump someone else's 'right' to have their humanity respected. Some people going words like 'rights' around meaninglessly. What they mean is 'I intend to sail through life selfishly, and don't see such things as, consideration for someone else feelings to count as much as mine, as any reason not to.' welcome to the magic way some people can manage to justify their feelings being paramount over anyone elses. But you see people like this in threads all the time, usually sowing damage and upset everywhere they go. Charmers the lot of them.
Sexnotgender · 09/01/2021 12:27

So he tried to ghost you after 2 years? What a prince! You’re well rid. Have a cry, drink some wine and breath a big sigh of relief. Anyone who does this doesn’t deserve a moment more of your time.

CakeRequired · 09/01/2021 12:34

For starters, delete his number, don't block it because then you still have access to it. Delete him on WhatsApp, remove him on FB etc.

Then start moving on. Accept the fact you aren't going to get an explanation. But really, why want one? He cheated on you. He's an asshole, why would you want an asshole? His new girl can have the cheating idiot, good luck to her, she's gonna need it.

Spend some time being single (you've not got much choice thanks to covid) and focus on what you like about yourself, do not think about why he didn't want you. Then move on when you're ready to.

peak2021 · 09/01/2021 13:19

Don't contact this coward who did not have the decency to phone you to end the relationship.

Original poster
frostytheshowman · 09/01/2021 13:25

I'm getting there.
I keep feeling okay then remembering something and getting upset.
I deleted his number as if I had blocked I know I would have kept unblocking to check if he's online etc.
This wasn't a reflection on me was it?
How do you get past the feeling that your responsible for his behaviour?

OP posts:
AllDoneIn · 09/01/2021 13:32

You are not crazy or unreasonable. After two years you deserved a conversation. He's an absolute prick and you are a decent human being. Make sure you block him because he's likely to come sniffing back down the line and you deserve much better Flowers

noirchatsdeux · 09/01/2021 13:38

You asked: "How do you get past the feeling that your responsible for his behaviour?"

By realizing that the only behaviour you are responsible for is your own.

InsertRudeWord · 09/01/2021 13:42

What an absolute tool of a man. You must feel so betrayed after two years.

I think you will look back on this and be relieved.

Bettysnow · 09/01/2021 13:55

Wow what a nasty excuse for a human being! You dodged a huge bullet with this man! You did nothing wrong and you were entitled to answers! Sadly its likely you won't get them and in a few months time you won't want them. Please understand this is a reflection on the low life he is and not remotely connected with you. Do not contact him again as you will feel even lower. Im so sorry this has happened to you but try to think of it as a fresh start. You will meet someone decent and honest and some day you will question what you ever saw in himFlowers

CakeRequired · 09/01/2021 14:02

You're not responsible for his actions. You're only responsible for your own, you didn't make him do this. Don't blame yourself, this is his fault.

blueangel19 · 09/01/2021 14:40

Most man find it impossible to break up with girlfriends. You are not the only one. Most women have gone through this. Move on and never look back. He is always not worth it and you deserve much better.

blueangel19 · 09/01/2021 14:42

What kind of answers? what people expect I do not love you anymore. He said he met someone else. He is happier with her. Never understand the looking for answers but he should have talk you in your face not by text. Coward!

RealisticSketch · 09/01/2021 19:59

@frostytheshowman

I'm getting there. I keep feeling okay then remembering something and getting upset. I deleted his number as if I had blocked I know I would have kept unblocking to check if he's online etc. This wasn't a reflection on me was it? How do you get past the feeling that your responsible for his behaviour?
Time. That's the only thing that can help you here. Time will cause your feelings of love for him to fade, when they have faded you will see things clearly and your perceptions of this will be in line with all the many posters who have backed you up here. You've had some great responses, now you need to distract yourself while you heal.
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