Dating Thread 198 - FOMO is a real thing

[cravingthelook]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Better do something visual sharpish, rural, to make sure there's no catfishing going on. And then tell us all how you do it!

I'm actually laughing out loud.

He (I'm going to give him a name just as it's so funny the timing of the thread - well me actually declaring I only find 6'4" pretty witty boys attractive & then one pops along) - MrYouth? It's going to have to be I think...

anyway he's alleging that he's bowled over that we've matched, loves my profile and flattered (allegedly) gives great text. Came in with v funny, nice long wordy one.

Readers he's 26. Definitely young enough to be my child.

OLD is so funny isn't it.
You never know who you are going to meet

MrKink is in with a really nice friendly intelligent opening message. I like the sound of him plus @cravingthelook he's given his definition as...

(Hang on let's see if I can paste from Tinder)

No idea what to write back other than 'Errrrrrr no experience of kink, sub or dom or otherwise. Have lead a fairly sheltered life...' probably best to be honest as cannot claim to be experienced dominatrix and therefore not for him.

It's interesting to see what different types of guy you all find attractive - just shows there is someone for everyone!

@Myfabby I use Hinge, so would be happy to give you a guy's opinion of your profile if you'd be happy sending it. I've done the same for @bangheadhere40 and she had a look over mine, so can hopefully vouch for me.

OLD is very much up and down, and after a brief high yesterday I'm feeling rather despondent.

Miss Polo replied back today saying that she enjoyed chatting last night, would be up for meeting but it would only be as friends as she's realised today she doesn't have enough time for a relationship. I know she is in the middle of a degree course, and has been busy writing essays - but seems odd to decide that now. I'm guessing it means she just isn't into me, but a shame she couldn't just say it.

No response either from Miss Why after my message yesterday suggesting where we could meet next weekend.

That, plus the idea of being locked down for 2-3 more months has suddenly hit me.

I have spent the day texting someone who I have so much in common with I’m a tad suspicious. I mean he couldn’t possibly be that compatible could he? We have a future movie night planned as apparently he even likes the same films as me. Weird.
I wouldn’t normally have swiped on him but I was testing my Bumble algorithm theory and it worked, again. He doesn’t look my type he is quite heavy set and has a goatee. But he seems to be able to read my mind and I’m a bit thrown by it.

@TheCatWithTheHat thanks I’d be grateful. I just haven’t worked out how to share.

@Onesmallstep67 Thank you !

can you pls PM me your email address ??

Happy new year all. Wow this new thread is at almost 300 posts in just a few days.

I spent today creating a POF profile and used the advice given in previous thread. If anyone is open to giving some feedback I can private message a link (if that works) or screenshots. @dancerinthemoonlight offered previously but doesn't seem to be in this thread yet? At least her name isn't coming up as a @ suggestion for me

Annoyingly my pictures seem to pixelate and blur lots when I upload them to POF, not sure if it's because I did it from my phone and not PC or if POF is just a bit crap? Anyone else had this happen to them?

@TheCatWithTheHat I've had very much the same turn of phrase in the past as Miss Polo has given you. I think your assessment is correct there. Are you just doing outdoor walking meet ups for now? Hope Miss Why gets back to you eventually

@Myfabby, sent you a PM so hopefully that has arrived.

@NVision Yep, just outdoor walking meets for the moment. Thanks - she didn't reply for over a day yesterday, and still seems fairly keen to meet so I'm hoping it's just because she's busy and doesn't see a rush to arrange details when the date is almost week away still.

It's just a little frustrating how someone says they had a good time chatting, would like to meet again - then in the next sentence basically says they're not interested in dating. Yet another match that I've liked, but doesn't feel the same way back. If my dating life was a Venn diagram showing women I want to date, and women who want to date me it would be two socially distanced circles next to each other.

@Myfabby - I've sent you a PM too, so hopefully you have that now.

I'll have Mr Kink then @Ruralbliss

@Clovertoast
How are you faring? I hope you managed to get some sleep.

Please take your time and come back when you're ready, I bet you're feeling really shell shocked - keep hydrated, try to eat and rest when you can.

@NVision I'm on this thread but haven't posted anything. I'm happy to look over your POF profile and give some feedback

@TheCatWithTheHat I know the feeling! Soldier on.

@Dancerinthemoonlight sent you a PM :)

@NVision my pof pics are blurred as well, I don't know how to change it either.

@Wasail might by worth just looking back through your messages and seeing if your iron is merely 'mirroring' what you have said you like or whether he has thrown some of his likes out there first if you see what I mean.

@Clovertoast hope you are ok. I echo everything others have said.

Hello everybody! I've been off all weekend roaming the freezing moorland with Mr Double Decker, staying in his van (with woodburner I hasten to add!). Very nice....I keep on angsting about where this is going, OMG I have to decide if I really like him or no, and if no must discard, but I think I'm putting unnecessary pressure on myself. He knows I'm only up for FWB, so I think just keeping him as that indefinitely is fine......isn't it?

clovertoast I will echo the masses in saying Mr P must be got rid of ASAP! I very much recognise that horrible pattern of cosy, emotionally repressed misery in which you're finding yourself with him. Been there before...

Thinking of you @Clovertoast - hope you're strong enough to put yourself first.

Don't really see the problem @crackofdoom - you don't know if you want anything more than FWB; he doesn't think you want anything more than FWB. Seems to me you're on the same page.

@TheCatWithTheHat Miss Polo not really into it - I wouldn't bother.
She's already told you it would lead to nothing. Miss Why may be trying to not look too keen? The next few months are too grim to think about.

@Wasail is he simply echoing you, e.g. if you say 'this is my favourite film/book/food' he goes 'no way! Me too!' (in which case psycho) - or has he mentioned stuff first also (in which case soul mate)?

@nvision have sent you a pm back

I am still around on the thread everyone and will post when I have advice or something I can add. Having a tough time personally so taking an extended hiatus from dating until the Spring. Hopefully things will be more normal then aswell. I have had several zombies but have told them I'm not looking to date or for 'fun' 🙄 at the moment.

@WeWantTheFinestWines and @Bluezoo123 some of it could be mirroring I think but I think most of it was natural conversion. Some things in my profile make it easy to guess that I enjoy sci fi and daft comedy but he is quite specific in conversation about some things though again it would have been possible to guess.
Its not obvious mirroring possible. I haven’t heard from him today yet but will keep an eye out for it when/if I do.

This is spot on:
twitter.com/jsaphra/status/1346077279538077696?s=20

I have a new iron who i've matched with despite living far outside our respective distance limits. Wondering if the universe has sent her.

@DudeFromThatLondon

This is spot on: twitter.com/jsaphra/status/1346077279538077696?s=20

I have a new iron who i've matched with despite living far outside our respective distance limits. Wondering if the universe has sent her.

Sounds like your average satnav...

@WeWantTheFinestWines - you're right, it does. Not sent by the universe but by the algorithms

Well this is odd - I've just matched with someone on Hinge who I previously matched with on two other apps (Happn about a year ago, then Bumble a few months ago)!

I unmatched her on Happn after she got a bit snooty when I suggested meeting in a pub for a date, but I don't think she remembers that. We chatted for a few days on Bumble back in October, then she went quiet - turns out she met someone and started dating.

Now she's back on Hinge, and we've had a fun chat. She's still of the view that she won't do coffee or walking dates, but maybe I was a little harsh for not wanting to see her at the start of the year. It can't be co-incidence that she's swiped me 3 times...

She seems fun, and is gorgeous. But I'm going to remember the meme I saw the other week...

"Dating is just wondering why someone is single, then figuring it out"