Should I walk in to 2021 a single woman?

[TheDiceWoman1]

NC for this.
In a very up and down relationship and I've spent all of Christmas feeling stressed and low.
He doesn't trust me. Makes me jump through hoops. He said he wanted to see me today to have sex as it's his reassurance I won't be sleeping with anyone else tonight. Not that I'm going anywhere it's just deranged thinking. I'm on my period and he tells me I'm avoiding and delaying having sex. I have been bleeding since Tuesday and last had sex with him Monday.
He clearly is not happy just to spend time chilling with me.
He says I don't take it seriously how much sex he needs. I've tried to accommodate and I'm not prepared to have sex while bleeding. He's truly awful and I'm struggling to walk away. I don't want my new year to start like this.

Abusers never, ever change. Being abusive is useful for them hence they don't change. Don't go back to this person. Also abuse escalates particularly if you stay in a relationship and try to stand up for yourself. The only, only way is to exit. And stay gone.

Also women can have sex as many times as they want in a day unlike many men 😁

enjoy your life you are brave

Good god you poor thing. He's raping you through coercive control.

Run OP. Run. He is a horrible, abusive man. RUN.

Jesus Christ if you don't dump him then I'll do it for you.

From previous experience I recommend doing it first thing on NYD, by phone.

Then get on with some cleaning with music playing very loudly.

@HollowTalk

You've definitely done the right thing. Imagine another year with him? You've got Brexit and Covid to deal with; you don't need this nutcase as well!

First of all, if you are tempted to write to him, do it in a draft email and do not send. Block him wherever he is.

He will do the following:

Plead with you
Cry
Blame you
Cry some more
Say he has mental health problems from his childhood
Say his mother treated him badly so he struggles with women
Say his ex was horrible to him, so he struggles with women
Cry again
Start to blame you
It will all be your fault
Then it'll be his
Then he'll cry
When he feels he's really losing you he'll pull out the big one - suicide

In reality, within a month he'll be living with another woman and making her life hell. Stick to your guns and ignore him.

This is absolutely on the mark. Tick these off as they happen, it'll help you stay sane and know that he's just following the classic abuser script.

If you can, please come back and let us know you're safe.

Well done op. He sounds abusive and controlling. You deserve better.

He sounds by horrible... dump his ass. You deserve much better!

I blocked him on everything and then realised I hadn't blocked on my other phone so he contacted me there!
To the PP with the list he has basically gone through all that and more and now talking about being dead FFS.
I just want this to stop. I can't talk to anyone in real life. I have made it clear to him I won't be responsible for anything bad happening to him and I can't be what he's asking for for the sake of my own MH. I feel on the edge of a panic attack. On the other hand I'm having a nice evening, cooked a mini feast, now catching up with the soaps and having a little drink and will get to bed soon.
Things normally seem better in the morning so I will block him before I sleep and wake up with a new outlook. I have to.

"He's truly awful" - says it all.

Fuck him off, OP. Life is too short for controlling dickheads like that.

Well done OP.
Block him on every possible channel now, so that you can absorb yourself into your TV evening.

He won’t do himself damage, these men value their own selves too highly.

Tomorrow is a new day, new future. The PP who used the ‘r’ word is not wrong. You may want to seek some help, perspective and support via counselling if you feel yourself feeling vulnerable and shaky.

Take care of your precious self OP.

Oh and P.S, huge congratulations: you deserve to celebrate what you have dine for yourself.

Well done for having the strength to cut him loose.
Keep safe - he sounds unhinged.

Good for you OP. Just be very careful because he's not wired right
Here's to 2021

Well done OP. Please stay strong. That abuser has been like an albatross around your neck. You will feel lighter every day without him.

Well done - cheers to you! Be careful though, dont speak to him again, he is abusive and sounds unhinged.

You’ll feel sad but not because of him, but because he wasnt the man you hoped him to be. A proper relationship wont include conditions. Wishing you a wonderful 2021.

Just think how lovely it will be to go to bed, no questions, no hassle and wake up to a whole new future of good things and good people

Congratulations for taking decisive action, OP. Your description of his demands made me feel quite sick. Just be grateful he showed his true colours before he'd moved in.

Now you can fly into the New Year with only yourself to please. Good for you - and enjoy your early night

Brilliant!!! He'll doubtless want to promise you the moon if he can get hold of you, so make sure he can't, and live the hell out of 2021 unharrassed, happy, your way !!!

Congratulations 🎉 OP.
If you feel like wavering , come back here.
You've absolutely done the right thing, as others have said you feel sad because he wasn't what you thought and it's disappointing.
But you're worth more and you've got away.

Congratulations op.
He was the absolute worst .

Happy new year @TheDiceWoman1
This will be the best decision you’ve ever made

Thank you to all of you
I have had a few drinks, watched a bit more crap tv. Lined up some new tv series starting tomorrow night and Monday night. The drinks have definitely helped to relax me and zone me out a bit. Don't normally drink.
I wish all of you a happy and healthy new year and thank you for your advice. I will be sure to keep posting x

Dice wishing you all the very best for 2021. Hope you meet someone really nice in the future. In the meantime have a ball...

Please do. MN are actually a good support group.