Heartbroken, he wants space.

[yulelogc]

Partner of a year, don't live together at the moment but had plans to very soon as I'm pregnant. Things were good I thought then tonight he said he needs space.. but that's it. He won't tell me how much space, or if it means we are together still I have no idea and whenever I ask he just says he doesn't want to hurt me and won't give me a straight answer. I'm heartbroken. I want to know where I stand but also don't want to push. I know I need to give him space but it's so hard 😔 please help me get through this I'm devastated and so confused.

Now or later, his cruel nature would have reared its head and caused you grief and sadness.

You are in the eye of the storm now but time will allow for clarity and eventual peace. Stay strong x

Still waiting for him to call... why am I so pathetic. I'm literally shaking, I feel sick, I feel faint I just can't cope with this

OP, I think I remember your previous thread and if I'm right you were told then he was clearly a cocklodger who did not have your best interests at heart.

I'm sorry, it must hurt so much. But better for him to show his true colours now than when you're 2 weeks post partum and knee deep in nappies and sleep deprivation

He is no friend to you or your children no matter how much they liked him. And by taking advantage of your good nature he was literally taking food from their mouths and money that could have been spent on their needs and that of your unborn child. That is not a nice man and you would do your children a disservice if you begged to have him back. How could you ever trust he wouldn't just up and walk out again?

I hope you get through the next few days with the help of your mum and friends and can start planning towards your future.

tessiegirl

I think you should hear him out op.

I agree with this . To be honest I think some posters are being unfair to someone who is clearly devastated. Telling her to find her self respect is not helpful .
DD’s fiancé was supposedly desperate to have DC yet when she told him she was pregnant he backed off and started demanding she had an abortion . She didn’t so he left . He then tried to get her back but she isn’t giving him a second chance and his name won’t be on the birth certificate.

Telling her to find her self respect is not helpful .

I agree. He has lost integrity and respect by his appalling actions, not OP.

@yulelogc

Still waiting for him to call... why am I so pathetic. I'm literally shaking, I feel sick, I feel faint I just can't cope with this

Switch off your phone... and ask yoir mum to hide it till tomorrow morning. Dont accommodate him at every move. You will talk to him when You are ready.

What a horrible man. I’m so sorry he pretended to be different and you’re in this situation. Similar happened to a friend of mine and (if it’s any comfort) a year on and she has a lovely supportive partner who raises all of her kids like they’re his own, and they’re getting married.

If he calls tonight and tries to play for time - since that’s classic him - you need to set an amount of time and tell him what it is. Eg “let’s give each other some space, I’ll be back in touch with you in a week”. Not just leave yourself dangling about waiting for a wave of his hand!

to those saying give him another chance, I wonder if they have read the previous thread and realise he's been stringing her on for the last year with promises etc.
Realistically he's just not interested in moving in and being part of her family. He's made that very clear by his actions.

I understand the OP is hurting but giving her false hope is unkind and in the long term destructive to her young family who need her

Tbh, I’m one of the ones saying find your self respect- because I’ve sat and watched the OP on the last thread for a couple of weeks now and seen her breaking her heart over this guy. I’m sorry for her, it’s a mess. He just Fobs her off every time. So I mean it in the kindest way. Sitting around waiting for him has done no good so far. It’s time to take control. Put yourself first. And that does mean finding your self respect. I hope the OP doesn’t take it unkindly, I’d like to think I’ve been supportive over the last couple of weeks.

I get why everyone says I need self respect. I'm still waiting for his call. Which just proves everyone on here is right 😔

OP - you've got a lovely young family. I hope you can find some comfort in that.

Just breathe and remember you're the prize , he has got to win you back if you want him, stay strong

I hope he rings soon! The waiting is worse than the reality of what he will say I’m sending big hugs!

Honestly, text him "I'm not feeling well, going to bed. Please call me on X day at X time".

You're making yourself feel ill and he probably won't even ring this evening (based on his track record of bullshittery).

Have a bath, put some comfy pjs on, chill out. Take care of you

it's really bad crack to leave you hanging like this all day.. it just adds to his 'cowardly' behaviour OP...

Call him.. tell him you want answers now... you're not waiting like a naught child for him to decide your future for you...

I anticipate he'll get ratty and then you'll know your answer... it's over

I hope you’re okay ❤️ I understand why you’d want to hear what he has to say. It’s a lot easier said than done to play games and not talk to the man when you’re carrying his child. Let us know how it goes ❤️ You’ll get through this either way, you’re stronger than you know

I think OP not responding has freaked him out and he either wants to string her along or maybe he’s plucked up the courage to end it.

I may be wrong.

So sorry OP - you’ll be better off without this bullshitter . Glad your mum is looking after you. Please look after yourself ok? Once the shock passes, you’ll be fine and i promise you, you’ll get through this x

I messaged him said that it's not fair to string me along and just get on with it. He replied that he's sorting something out... fuck knows what's more important than the woman carrying his child. Don't get it.

Thank you all for the supportive comments I really do appreciate it

I think you need to take some time and think about you and your baby as well as your other kids.

It’s not a good start OP he has let you down majorly thank God he didn’t move in with you.

He would have known for a while that he has cold feet. Do you think he has met someone? Or is still together with his Childrens mother?

Either way he is unreliable

It’s clear he’s a self absorbed twat, sorry OP

Hes not sorting something out OP, he messing with your head and its working. Turn your phone off and try to relax. Watch a film with your kids, take a hot bath, anything to take your mind of things for a little while. He sounds a disgusting little cretin

He is a coward and trying to get you to end things so that he doesn't look like the bad guy.

I messaged him said that it's not fair to string me along and just get on with it. He replied that he's sorting something out

But that's just more stringing you along.

@yulelogc bless you but honestly this will be the making of you. Shame on you if you fool me once, shame on you if you fool me twice.

Promise us all that you won't let him change your kind once the baby is born?

You've got this, you don't need this twat of a sperm donor.