DH in a sulk over Simon Cowell

[Wildthingsx]

This morning I wrote a comment on a post about Shag Marry Avoiding Simon Cowell, and my husband is now in a huge sulk that I have written I would shag Simon Cowell from the 90s. (I would avoid early 00s Cowell and marry current Cowell, for anyone who is interested....) my comments were jokey and in the spirit of the post.

I mentioned it to him as I thought my comment was amusing, clearly a joke (I wouldnt shag ANY Cowell!) and a few hundred people have ‘liked’ it for its silliness, but he has told me to stay away from him, that I am not a ‘nice wife’ for writing this on the internet and that if I think like that then he is ‘out’. He also threw a pillow at me as I walked out the room and is giving off those sulky negative vibes that make me feel I should avoid him.

This is not the first time something like this has happened - although I have never commented on Simon Cowell before 😅 nor do I take part in these types of posts usually! Infact I never compare men or make lewd comments. As he is insecure and I tread very carefully....

I know this isn’t an AIBU but am I?

He told you to “stay away from him” hahaha. I’m sorry. Your husband is a dick but this made me howl with laughter. So funny. Hilarious. You should write a list of the famous men you’d shag and leave it lying around and we can all sit and wait for the bbc news. “Random man arrested for warning Brad Pitt away from his wife” hahaha

This post has made my day.

ooh tell us more bigmelt

op your husband is a controlling twat

Can I be controversial?

I wouldn’t sulk about it or react like him, but I wouldn’t want my boyfriend to write something like that on the internet either ...

OMG! You know what we should do?!! We should all chip in and hire a Simon lookalike to drive up in a limo and knock on your door OP. Say “my dream came true when I heard you were interested. I’ve been waiting my whole life for you” hilarious. Can you imagine your husbands face OP! Then film it and put it on you’ve been framed. I so want that to happen now

Well, what are you going to do about this silly sulking man, insecure, and controlling, whatever? , it's not a very fine way to live, with all this hanging in the air all the time.

I saw the original post and it was hilarious and clearly tongue in cheek.
Daisy May posted at 3 in the morning- up with baby and bored.
All the replies were equally silly. FFS.

You have to order this for your husband OP. When he opens it give him a big creepy wink and a nudge nudge and a “hey sexy”

www.amazon.co.uk/Cowell-Factor-Celebrity-Single-Sticks/dp/B07X1TLWRH/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_sspa?dchild=1&psc=1&keywords=simon+cowell+mask&sprefix=simon+cowell+&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExUVZZRkwzQVVPT1NSJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNjA3NDE5MVZMN01DTzMxUjExTyZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNjIzNzY4RFFHOTc4S09CMlFBJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfcGhvbmVfc2VhcmNoX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1609251066&sr=8-1-spons

@1forAll74

Honestly, I don’t know. I feel very stuck, as he doesn’t have a job and I rely on him to take me to work and our child to school.
If I leave I fear I will lose my daughter as I don’t drive (I recently said I want to learn next year but DH has pointed out this would be pointless and expensive. I said I wanted some freedom, he said Why?)
I can’t ferry her to and from school.

I was the SAHP until my dh lost his job during the first lockdown.

@Wildthingsx Urgh he sounds like such a baby! My DH has had episodes similar to this. (And occasionally still does!) He has half a dozen female pals at work, and they buy him cards and presents for his birthday, and Christmas. When he brings them home, he says 'no need to be jealous,' with a big (I'm not by the way.) When I say I'm not jealous, he goes 'mmm hmmm, ok then!'

Then when a man I know buys ME something, or Dave from down the road talks to ME on the driveway, but walks past him, he sulks like a child because other men are paying me attention.

It's not a massive issue and it's fairly rare, but he does have a tendency now and again to be a bit smug if he has had a bit of attention from a woman, but doesn't like it when I get it from men.

It's his insecurity and he can't help it, and it hasn't crossed over into him being 'controlling,' and I doubt it ever will. I think it stems from when we first met. (25-ish years ago.) I used to get whistled at by men (a lot) in my 20s, and early 30s, and got lots of compliments from men, even when I was with him. And I even got chatted up, in bars, and by men at work ... Yet he never got similar behaviour from women. (Well, women don't generally do that anyway!)

So he used to get jealous and insecure, even though I was never remotely interested in any other man. And he has carried it into middle age. Insecure and a bit sniffy (sometimes,) if a man talks to me when they have ignored him, or if a man buys me a gift. (But thinks it's OK for women to talk to him - whilst ignoring me - and buy him gifts!)

But the way your DH is behaving is shit. Threatening to leave you, and throwing stuff at you in a tantrum. That would be it for me I'm afraid (if my DH starting throwing shit at me in a strop!!!) That's a slippery slope. He'll be giving you a backhander next!

A recent example, he said I make too much effort when I go to work and look ‘too sexy
I don’t know how to reply to these comments without setting off an argument

He's creating an environment where you have to do what he says and not voice an opinion over it.
Whether it is based on insecurity or not is not the issue. He (like everybody, including you) is allowed to feel anything at all, but we are all responsible for expressing our feelings in respectful ways. He is manipulating you into not expressing your feelings at all, and that is not respectful.

At the very least, it's important that you respect your feelings here, and express them in the way that you want to. If you can't do that with him, you're not compatible, and that's not your fault. He's controlling you.

[quote Wildthingsx]@1forAll74

Honestly, I don’t know. I feel very stuck, as he doesn’t have a job and I rely on him to take me to work and our child to school.
If I leave I fear I will lose my daughter as I don’t drive (I recently said I want to learn next year but DH has pointed out this would be pointless and expensive. I said I wanted some freedom, he said Why?)
I can’t ferry her to and from school.

I was the SAHP until my dh lost his job during the first lockdown.[/quote]
Oh he's making you think you can't live /function without him too.

Of course you can. Why would you lose your daughter just because you can't drive?

There are options. Some easier,some harder,some right,some not so right. None of them involve pandering and staying with a controlling arsehole.

[quote Wildthingsx]@1forAll74

Honestly, I don’t know. I feel very stuck, as he doesn’t have a job and I rely on him to take me to work and our child to school.
If I leave I fear I will lose my daughter as I don’t drive (I recently said I want to learn next year but DH has pointed out this would be pointless and expensive. I said I wanted some freedom, he said Why?)
I can’t ferry her to and from school.

I was the SAHP until my dh lost his job during the first lockdown.[/quote]
This is far more troubling to read. So much so, that what you stated in the OP about a stupid social media post shouldn't even be a blip on the radar.

This reminds me of the poster whose Dad refused to speak to her Mum for a week because she said he didn't look like Paul McCartney. What is wrong with these man-babies 🤦🏻‍♀️

You are stuck, very stuck and that's just the way he likes it. Please give your situation and your marriage lots of thought OP. He is very controlling.

YABU. Simon's mine and resent you talking about him like he's a piece of meat!

@JazzyGeoff

Tell him Simon wouldn't behave like that.

Haha! Brilliant!

So... a “few hundred” liked the post? I was going to say your DH was being silly but the “few hundred” makes me wonder if there is more to consider like do you live in social media? Is your life there for all to see? Do you have a public persona? Is he part of that narrative?

@KarmaNoMore

So... a “few hundred” liked the post? I was going to say your DH was being silly but the “few hundred” makes me wonder if there is more to consider like do you live in social media? Is your life there for all to see? Do you have a public persona? Is he part of that narrative?

Does it matter? It's obviously not the case but even if it was it doesn't warrant her DH throwing things at her(even a pillow), threatening divorce, sulking or being so angry.

Agree he shouldn’t have thrown the pillow but there may be more to this story than what we see here.

[quote littlepattilou]@Wildthingsx Urgh he sounds like such a baby! My DH has had episodes similar to this. (And occasionally still does!) He has half a dozen female pals at work, and they buy him cards and presents for his birthday, and Christmas. When he brings them home, he says 'no need to be jealous,' with a big (I'm not by the way.) When I say I'm not jealous, he goes 'mmm hmmm, ok then!'

Then when a man I know buys ME something, or Dave from down the road talks to ME on the driveway, but walks past him, he sulks like a child because other men are paying me attention.

It's not a massive issue and it's fairly rare, but he does have a tendency now and again to be a bit smug if he has had a bit of attention from a woman, but doesn't like it when I get it from men.

It's his insecurity and he can't help it, and it hasn't crossed over into him being 'controlling,' and I doubt it ever will. I think it stems from when we first met. (25-ish years ago.) I used to get whistled at by men (a lot) in my 20s, and early 30s, and got lots of compliments from men, even when I was with him. And I even got chatted up, in bars, and by men at work ... Yet he never got similar behaviour from women. (Well, women don't generally do that anyway!)

So he used to get jealous and insecure, even though I was never remotely interested in any other man. And he has carried it into middle age. Insecure and a bit sniffy (sometimes,) if a man talks to me when they have ignored him, or if a man buys me a gift. (But thinks it's OK for women to talk to him - whilst ignoring me - and buy him gifts!)

But the way your DH is behaving is shit. Threatening to leave you, and throwing stuff at you in a tantrum. That would be it for me I'm afraid (if my DH starting throwing shit at me in a strop!!!) That's a slippery slope. He'll be giving you a backhander next![/quote]
It's really strange how insecurities can form and linger. How seemingly innocuous and almost throw away comments can have a profound affect.

I have always had some level of body image issues, though no idea really why or where they came from as I have always had positive attention from women. Likely the root is in the relationship I had with my ex-wife who is diagnosed narcissistic personality disorder, but I digress...

After my ex and I divorced, and I started dating again, my now wife of 8 years and I got along swimmingly, though she did and still does have an eye for men, and lacks a filter in expressing her fondness, and combine that with her response the very first time she put her arms around me..."God you're scrawny." That simple statement has had a very unexpectedly strong impact on how I view myself and how I perceive anything she says with regards to my appearance.

Honestly, you need to take a good hard look at your marriage in its totality. He's not 'insecure', he's manipulative and controlling.

You don't 'need' a driving license? Who cares if you 'need' one, you want one and that's enough reason to get one.

He ferries you to work/DD to school? Single parents/families with no drivers manage to get hither and yon. He has you thinking him driving you is the only way. It's not. Take a good look around and see your options. Public transport, carpool (paying your share of petrol, of course), taxis, Uber, walk/bike. Of course there's always moving closer to work or DD's school, without him.

You need to focus on being more independent and you need to find your voice.

Op, your first and most important job for the new year - learn to drive. Seriously.

Let's drop the poor-ickle-lamb-can't-help-it 'insecure' line, and call him what he is - an angry, controlling TWAT.

Thank you so much for directing me to Daisy May's insta, the comments on Simon were hysterical, I haven't laughed so hard at something on the internet in ages.

Now I have seen the original instagram post and how absolutely silly it is, I can confirm your partner is being a dick.