DH in a sulk over Simon Cowell

[Wildthingsx]

This morning I wrote a comment on a post about Shag Marry Avoiding Simon Cowell, and my husband is now in a huge sulk that I have written I would shag Simon Cowell from the 90s. (I would avoid early 00s Cowell and marry current Cowell, for anyone who is interested....) my comments were jokey and in the spirit of the post.

I mentioned it to him as I thought my comment was amusing, clearly a joke (I wouldnt shag ANY Cowell!) and a few hundred people have ‘liked’ it for its silliness, but he has told me to stay away from him, that I am not a ‘nice wife’ for writing this on the internet and that if I think like that then he is ‘out’. He also threw a pillow at me as I walked out the room and is giving off those sulky negative vibes that make me feel I should avoid him.

This is not the first time something like this has happened - although I have never commented on Simon Cowell before 😅 nor do I take part in these types of posts usually! Infact I never compare men or make lewd comments. As he is insecure and I tread very carefully....

I know this isn’t an AIBU but am I?

You're confusing things by asking if he's right to be upset about the post. He can be upset about whatever he finds upsetting. What's out of order is how he behaves about his feelings.

OK behavior : "actually I find it quite upsetting when you post that stuff online and I'd really like it if you wouldn't in future"

Not OK behaviour : tantrums, sulking, etc

I saw that post too OP and I can’t believe your husband has taken it seriously! Madness!

@Jennifer2r

You are right. Also confusing the situation is posters saying "he is insecure" because he finds this post disrespectful. I don't think that's true. I find this kind of post disrespectful and would never participate in it. But, as you say, the husband is being childish and controlling in his reaction. The sulking, throwing pillows etc.

And the "too sexy for work " comment is a whole other conversation.....

[quote Wildthingsx]@nanbread yes he is, but usually it all relates to being insecure.

A recent example, he said I make too much effort when I go to work and look ‘too sexy’.
I don’t know how to reply to these comments without setting off an argument.

In reply to a few others - yes this is, I have recently told him I am unhappy with things, nothing in particular has happened I just feel tired with this constant theme of insecurity.
I know I wrote this post in a jokey manner but a lot of you have clearly seen what I’m trying to say. Which scares me![/quote]
Massive Red Flag. That it comes from insecurity doesn't make it ok. The insecurity is his to deal with not yours to tip toe around.

@Wildthingsx

This morning I wrote a comment on a post about Shag Marry Avoiding Simon Cowell, and my husband is now in a huge sulk that I have written I would shag Simon Cowell from the 90s. (I would avoid early 00s Cowell and marry current Cowell, for anyone who is interested....) my comments were jokey and in the spirit of the post.

I mentioned it to him as I thought my comment was amusing, clearly a joke (I wouldnt shag ANY Cowell!) and a few hundred people have ‘liked’ it for its silliness, but he has told me to stay away from him, that I am not a ‘nice wife’ for writing this on the internet and that if I think like that then he is ‘out’. He also threw a pillow at me as I walked out the room and is giving off those sulky negative vibes that make me feel I should avoid him.

This is not the first time something like this has happened - although I have never commented on Simon Cowell before 😅 nor do I take part in these types of posts usually! Infact I never compare men or make lewd comments. As he is insecure and I tread very carefully....

I know this isn’t an AIBU but am I?

That is a bit odd. I could understand if you mentioned fancying some bloke down the road but it's not exactly going to happen!

@DayBath that’s complete bollocks - if OP had posted on her fb going on and on about how she’d like to tie Hugh Jackman up and ride him like a bronco, you may have a point.

I can assure you that if OP had posted about her DH engaging on a social media post about “snog, marry, avoid” and announced she’d thrown something at her DH, threatened to leave, and was now stonewalling him; she’d be very swiftly handed a grip.

Even if it’s a bit off sexualising celebrities, his reaction and subsequent behaviour is completely unacceptable.

@DayBath I see your point but I disagree a little. I think of a woman posted saying her husband was liking other womens sexy pictures on social media, or following a lot of bikini models on instagram some other posters would agree it was out of order (I wouldnt like it myself). If a woman posted that she was so angry her husband had answered which of the Spice girls he would "shag, marry, avoid", that she had been unable to speak to him for a day and had called him a bad husband people would be handing her a grip (or more likely a biscuit).

@Dyrne Cross post :)

@JazzyGeoff

Tell him Simon wouldn't behave like that.

😂😂😂

Oh god they always do the boo hoo I’m so insecure routine. So what?! Not my problem and not an excuse to be controlling. He sounds pathetic tbh.

Even if it’s a bit off sexualising celebrities, his reaction and subsequent behaviour is completely unacceptable.
Where did I say it wasn't @Dyrne? Wind your neck in and stop being so rude. Telling OP that abusive tantrums are unacceptable whilst also throwing one within the thread...the irony.

Sounds like this "insecurity" is a great ecxuse for him to be nasty to you whenever he wants.

Does he acknowledge that he has a problem and treats you badly? Is he taking concrete steps (like getting counselling) for his psychological issues? Willing to bet the answer is no.

@DayBath yes I have to agree, he has since stomped out of the house but said that he would never write things like that in social media, which he wouldn’t.

He does make similar comments about real life women - usually saying who he wouldn’t shag/comments on their looks etc (this is during conversations with our single male friend) so this isn’t a huge act of disrespect on my part, however I do feel it was a lapse of judgement and that he would see it was clearly lighthearted (the comments really are very silly and it would take someone very immature to find them hurtful IMO)

Sorry, I appreciate your having a difficult time with an insecure idiot but Daisy's insta made me howl when that popped up and in no way should any responses be taken seriously. Its Simon Cowell for fucks sake. Your husband is being a grade a twonk.

Thankyou @Neilsfavouritechilli I referenced the post in the hope some people would see how very not serious the comments would be.

It does have a more sinister feel when you know this I think

I just noticed another thread on MN where a poster is worried that her partner is Linked in friends with a female member of cabin crew (or similar) and she is being pretty much unanimously being told to get a grip. So I dont think the double standards arguement holds actually.

He’s said if I think like that then he is ‘out ? I would take that as a threat of divorce if I were you. And I can’t stand empty threats to control behaviour. Call his bluff.

Reversing the roles Mumsnet would be pretty hard on a husband who engages in those sorts of social media posts. There's always a double standard for women on here

Yep. Huge double standard.
Anyway, to me it depends on what site it is, whether posted anonymous, etc.

But it wasn't a serious post, it was a joke post by a bafta winning comedy writer/actress with a shed load of funny comments underneath.

The sulky behaviour is not acceptable. I hope you recover your sense of taste in men. Simon Cowell is to music what fast food is to haute cuisine.

@nosswith to clarify I would not like to shag The Simon Cowell of Christmas Past, Present or future !

Buy him a Simon Cowell face mask and tell him you’ll wear a Sinitta mask if he’s up for it

His overreaction to this incident is worrying in conjunction with you tiptoeing around to avoid his ‘insecurity’ and his comments about you looking ‘too sexy’ for work. Red flags all over the shop for a controlling prick.

On a lighter note, my DH worked with Cowell in the 90s and it was a great surprise to him that Simon 2000s is now considered a heterosexual man .

He's not insecure,he's possessive and controlling.

You already walk on eggshells. He controls what you say,what you do,how you react to his comments. He doesn't even have to do much anymore, as you try to preempt any reaction for fear of an argument.

Even in this thread you blame yourself quite a bit.

You're his toy, you have your place and your role and God forbid you go against that. Because you're HIS.

That's not insecurity,that's abuse.

“Stay away from Simon Cowell!”

Shouldn’t be too hard I imagine.