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Original poster

How would you react to this?

114 replies

Othering · 27/12/2020 08:41

Starting to discuss buying a property with my oh. Tentatively looking. Him very keen and said yesterday, come on, let's spend the afternoon on rightmove, which we did. I then said, shall we watch a film and he said no, let's watch grand designs. At the end of each episode, he said, let's watch another, so we ended up watching about 5 episodes. Unrelated argument kicked off later, him screaming at me. He went absolutely nuts about all kinds but amongst it all, he said that I'd made him look at houses and TV programmes and that he hadn't watched any football and fuck buying a house. He has previous for going absolutely spare, losing his temper from nowhere, so this isn't the first time but I think suffice to say, the house hunt is off.

OP posts:
wellthatsunusual · 27/12/2020 08:44

Yeah, I wouldn't be buying a house with him.

I couldn't even be in a relationship with someone who flies off the handle and misrepresents things.

takeanotherchillpill · 27/12/2020 08:45

I'd hope the relationship is off!

Djouce · 27/12/2020 08:46

Not only would I not be buying a house with but I wouldn’t be going on a second date with someone who can’t control his temper.

MossandRoy · 27/12/2020 08:47

Sounds like a loon. Unacceptable behaviour. Dump him, definitely don't buy a house with him.

Original poster
Othering · 27/12/2020 08:47

Oh and the argument started because he said there was always a clause in tenancy agreements that the heating must be left on constantly. I said that that just wasn't true and he went ballastic, saying that I was calling him in to question and nit picking.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 27/12/2020 08:47

Dump him immediately. Why are you putting up with raging tantrums and outright lies from an adult?

PJsEveryday · 27/12/2020 08:48

I wouldn't even contemplate buying a house with this man. I would however, be considering a future without him. He sounds very unpleasant.

Original poster
Othering · 27/12/2020 08:48

@Djouce

Not only would I not be buying a house with but I wouldn’t be going on a second date with someone who can’t control his temper.
We've been together for 16 years.
OP posts:
Djouce · 27/12/2020 08:48

Why?

clpsmum · 27/12/2020 08:49

Please don't buy a house with this bully

Boopthesnoot1 · 27/12/2020 08:49

U would react by ending the relationship. Who knows how bad it will get once he has you financially constrained to him!

wowfudge · 27/12/2020 08:49

Sounds like 16 years too long unless this hideous behaviour is a new thing?

TwentyViginti · 27/12/2020 08:49

This will not get better. He has repeatedly shown you who he is.

Dump dump dump.

Original poster
Othering · 27/12/2020 08:50

@Boopthesnoot1

U would react by ending the relationship. Who knows how bad it will get once he has you financially constrained to him!
I wouldn't be. I have my own money.
OP posts:
RiojaRose · 27/12/2020 08:51

How would I react to that? I’d end the relationship. I was in a previous relationship with a man who screamed at me from nowhere and I will never ever put up with it again. Couples sometimes argue, of course, but screaming like that is in another category.

halfpasteleven · 27/12/2020 08:51

You won't be happy in the same house as him, regardless of whether you have your own money.

StephenBelafonte · 27/12/2020 08:51

Is buying your own home an by option?

It seems odd to be with someone for 16 years and THEN decide to buy a house

Original poster
Othering · 27/12/2020 08:52

@wowfudge

Sounds like 16 years too long unless this hideous behaviour is a new thing?
He is usually lovely. Challenging at times but OK. Every now and again, he goes nuclear.
OP posts:
Pickypolly · 27/12/2020 08:52

16 years on and you are asking what we would do?

Honey, I think you are well established, have absolutely no intention of following advice, have an alternative reason for posing this “dilemma “ and are wasting our time.

Sexnotgender · 27/12/2020 08:54

He sounds awful.

Original poster
Othering · 27/12/2020 08:54

@StephenBelafonte

Is buying your own home an by option?

It seems odd to be with someone for 16 years and THEN decide to buy a house

I already own my own home.
OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 27/12/2020 08:54

Is how he behaved acceptable to you?

Lex345 · 27/12/2020 08:55

Effectively he has engineered the argument himself, insisting on doing one thing and then blaming you for it? I could put a long reply to you OP, but your partner has managed it so succinctly:

"Fuck buying a house"

Quite

Original poster
Othering · 27/12/2020 08:55

@Pickypolly

16 years on and you are asking what we would do?

Honey, I think you are well established, have absolutely no intention of following advice, have an alternative reason for posing this “dilemma “ and are wasting our time.

What alternative reason? I'm posting after an awful night, a night on the sofa, the possible end of my relationship and I'm trying to get my head straight.
OP posts:
HollowTalk · 27/12/2020 08:57

He sounds really awful. Can you imagine owning a house with him and him kicking off like that? You'd feel completely trapped.