How would you react to this?

[Othering]

Starting to discuss buying a property with my oh. Tentatively looking. Him very keen and said yesterday, come on, let's spend the afternoon on rightmove, which we did. I then said, shall we watch a film and he said no, let's watch grand designs. At the end of each episode, he said, let's watch another, so we ended up watching about 5 episodes. Unrelated argument kicked off later, him screaming at me. He went absolutely nuts about all kinds but amongst it all, he said that I'd made him look at houses and TV programmes and that he hadn't watched any football and fuck buying a house. He has previous for going absolutely spare, losing his temper from nowhere, so this isn't the first time but I think suffice to say, the house hunt is off.

Please just go and talk to him or phone him and tell him that you are calling time on this. You don't want to do it any more. And kick him out (if he's there). Right now.

You are not some baby deer waiting to be eaten by a lion. You are a grown woman. When you see this happening you say no. No more. Just put a stop to it right this second.

@Plussizejumpsuit

If he's a ceo why are you renting? Also if you've been together 16 years is this the first time he's lost it over nothing. He sounds bonkers!

There's nowhere that says we're renting. We're buying somewhere in the country together or at least we were. I own my own home. No, it's not the first time he's lost it. It's just getting worse and worse.

@StrippedFridge

He has driven two other women insane. You are going that way. How can you best protect yourself? Can you walk out with a suitcase and stay somewhere else?

I don't need to. He's going back to London tomorrow.

@madcatladyforever

He sounds like he has some kind of psychiatric disorder, obsessional behaviour followed by rage. I'm not sure I'd want to buy a house with him.

He may well have. He's got adhd and lots of other issues on top.

You said you spend a lot of time alone because he works away. He sounds like he's be way too intense for you if he was there more often. I doubt the relationship would have lasted 16 years if he lived with you full time. I wouldn't be buying a house with him at all. He sounds like a prize specimen.

He's the archetypal ideal man

😂Really?? All I see is a sociopath with a bit of cash and a very good facade.

You seem intent on carrying on this shit show - If you can't see that you need to end this relationship for your own mental health I don't know what to tell you.

@Othering sorry I must have got mixed up as the argument started about tenancy clauses.

Ok so if this is on an escalating scale then unfortunately you know its just going to get worse. I know when somone is behaving badly its hard to say when enough is enough. But even if he's just behaved like that once it's not ok.

He really sounds out of control. Especially with the stuff about altering the truth. I'm glad you own your own home! You don't deserve this treatment.

How easy would it be to block him from coming back? Is that what you want?

@Othering

During a conversation the other day, we talked about the police and being spat at and how absolutely disgusting it was. After the latest almighty rant he went on at me, he was outside in my garden for a while, smoking. The next day, I found 3 huge blobs of spit right outside the back door. He'd done it on purpose, in anger. It feels like the ultimate fuck you from him and shows a total lack of respect. This isn't some lout of a man, as you might imagine. This is a 50 year old CEO of a global company, highly respected in work, charming, funny, wearing his Boss fucking clothes. I loathe him.

Eww 😷

Well that's problem solved. You send him a text telling him not to come back. Pack his stuff and send it on. This isn't adhd - he's a sociopath. It's over and it's going to get much much worse.

OP please leave this man.

It sounds like he was initially excited and then got very scared of the commitment? It is a big thing and up to now he or you are not fully committed.
Do exactly as you want- it's your home and you are financially independent- lucky you!
Do you want a future with this man if so you need to have a discussion. He sounds a bit immature and scared of committing if you ask me.

If you want commitment then it might be time to find someone else.
If you are happy with your own independence as it is then stay as you are. Xx

@Brakebackcyclebot

OP please leave this man.

I doubt I'll have to. Things have been horrendous between us and I strongly suspect he's going to call time on it himself anyway, so that'll be that.