Photos - Please be gentle with me

[Pollypocket89]

Hi

Please be gentle with me.

Is there any innocent reason your dh would be looking at photos of another woman he knows (work together) on social media?

Plenty - curiousity, nosiness, interest as they are friends?

Unless there is more to this, it's pretty normal.

Christ I look up people all the time on fb & Instagram, because I'm bloody nosy!

There is... We've fought about her before and now I'm 3 months pregnant and saw him through the crook of the bedroom door looking at her photos.

Depends. Photos on her account generally which include pics of her with her partner/kids; sunsets; dinner and pets? Or pics of her in her bikini or partying with her friends in revealing clothes?
Because the first is probably business, curiosity and passing the time. The other is wank bank fodder.

Nosiness. Photo keeps correcting to business 🙄

Paperstar... Just her

That would concern me

If you feel this way about this woman, and you two have fought over her, why does he have her on his SM?

To answer your question, nobody here can tell you the reasons he's looking. Only he knows that.

Fairly obvious? He is looking at her pics because he wants to...because he finds her attractive.

Could be wrong, but sounds dodgy to me and I'd ask him. Xxx

@Pollypocket89
I'm so sorry you are going through this extra stress right now.
Only you can tell if DH is up to no good....I'd tell him you saw him looking at her photos...not right now...but when maybe you are sitting in the lounge relaxing...(especially not at night though as the worry will just disrupt your much needed sleep)
Try to talk calmly this time so he will feel that he can open up to you with the truth about her....he could just have a crush on her and she doesn't even know it and he wouldn't think of acting on it and loves you dearly...but if the opposite is true, do you want to discontinue your relationship with him? Only you know the answer, Sweetheart.

Why did you think readers wouldn't be gentle with you?

Here’s the thing...

You OP could have followed her as a mate - he’s not responsible for her content.

If he’s giving the whole ‘😍😍😍’ then he’s a dick and you need to have a conversation. No resolution / understanding? Ducks / Row....

Polly, I am really sorry that this is still a problem. He’s been searching her stories and revealing photos for at least a year now and you’ve written numerous threads about their personal and work interactions.

If you finally had it out with him, he should have set proper boundaries with her and cut out watching her SM. It appears that he is is not willing to do that.

Hmmm, as you've fought about her I'm gonna say it's def off.

Why on earth are you having a child with someone you can't trust? To the point you're peeking through doorjams to see what he's up to?

It's no way to live

We already have one dc together. Everything was put to rest over lockdown I thought with her. And now we're having a baby and he's still looking at her photos :(

Thank you, mrsdoglady. Her reply is why I didn't think people might not be gentle

OP you've written on so many threads about your partner and his dynamic with this woman. It's become an obsession and a fixation.

I also remember relatively recently you were indulging in flirtation with someone else too (in what clearly seemed like a strange sort of revenge / I can do what he's done thing) and were disingenuous about it saying you were shocked the guy was flirting etc etc.

The bottom line is this - your relationship is not healthy, functional or trusting.

Why are you wasting your life with someone you don't trust whose behaviour makes you unhappy?

It really shouldn't be this hard.

I wasn't peeking, I was walking past and saw

I absolutely wasn't disingenuous, thank you. Pp were right, I wanted a friend and as soon as I realised pp were correct, I disengaged from our 1 proper conversation. No flirting, A conversation.

Please don't derail the thread question with that

youve had this before op you know its not just friendly

To clarify, I'm not saying it's an obsession / fixation because I think you're wrong to think he's up to something. He sounds like a prick and he clearly has had an inappropriate dynamic with her and hasn't prioritised you. But your response to it, to stay and continue to have to deal with his shitty behaviour rather than leaving, is something you need to be accountable for - because that will bring you back power. You need to realise you have agency and choice here, not just him.

Mrsdoglady, what does it suggest to you? He was looking at a photo of the 2 of them and scrolling the rest, not just 'wank bank' ones as pp put it

I know I do but now I'm 3 months pregnant with a very much wanted baby

@Pollypocket89

I absolutely wasn't disingenuous, thank you. Pp were right, I wanted a friend and as soon as I realised pp were correct, I disengaged from our 1 proper conversation. No flirting, A conversation.

Please don't derail the thread question with that

Apologies I didn't mean to derail - I genuinely didn't. I just think that a thread like this is going to be so unhelpful to you because people can only answer based on the info you share unless they're familiar with your username.

If most people in a healthy relationship saw a partner looking at pictures of someone there are a myriad reasons they may be doing so and lots may well be innocent.

With the background of your particular relationship, it's a sign he isn't sorry, isn't genuinely putting you first and wants to do basically whatever he wants to do and believes he can get away with it.

You deserve more. You really do.

Thank you :(