I (we) have no real friends to invite to wedding

[Billynofriends3]

DP and I are getting married. I always thought I wanted a big wedding but knowing that I have no real close friends gives me "social anxiety" and will definitely not let me enjoy the day. I'd worry all day that people would realise this. I have no one to ask to be my maid of honour and everyone would just be a "filler". My DP feels more or less the same for his side too.

We've decided to have a registry office wedding and the go to the pub for some sort of reception with our family.

I still want to look like a "proper bride". Would that be odd? Maybe it's about the right look? Sorry for the rambling. No idea if relationships is the best place for this bit considering it's about lack of friends thought it was the best place.

Can you marry in hotels etc in England? Why not hire a beautiful (but small) country house/ hotel ballroom / country house garden /marquee and get married in it then the have the meal - nice vistas or castles for the background of photos and in the end this is all you children and their children will see. Stay a night and have a great breakfast the next day (with any remaining family). You might have to travel to Scotland to get this.

In ten years time the main things you will have are each other, rings and photos. I would wear a nice dress, get a good photographer and have a photo shoot together. With covid I think many of the unspoken rules have been ripped up. Instead of bridesmaids you could just have a few flower girls and page boys either of friends or family. If you want any at all. Wear the dress of your dreams you will feel so much more confidence in it.

It's the kindness of the landlady that made me realise that was the right decision. She's closing it just for us on a Friday night. No minimum spend!

My sister is doing a venue that specialises in small weddings with afternoon tea afterwards. Could that work for you?

I did the same as you are suggesting..lovely day x

I'd still like our acquaintances to come. I like people! It's not that I ended up friendless because I'm the type that hates people! That why I think a very relaxed pub setting is perfect for anyone who wants to show up and be merry with us.

I thought going dress shopping on my own was going to.be more daunting but it was absolutely fine. I did make me realise that it's not the big wedding I want, it's the dress. To be able to.loom at pictures of it and see myself as the bride I had always wanted to be (and marrying the love of my life!)

It's not strangers that I care about really, but accepting to my acquaintances that I have no real friends and make look like a total loser

It's the kindness of the landlady that made me realise that was the right decision. She's closing it just for us on a Friday night. No minimum spend!
Well, if she was so lovely, you can't disappoint her! Wear the wedding-ist dress you feel comfortable in, and make sure you give her a photo or two that feature the pub nicely.
I had a small but traditional wedding in a venue near my flat - my husband and I walked home! A bride may be incongruous, but never unwelcome - so many people congratulated us on the way home!

Maybe get a proper photographer to photo you at your home, then at the pub, they can help get lighting right etc.

Surly you are marrying your best friend and may go on to create (and add to) your own family. It doesn’t matter about not having other close friends.

Yes I was thinking of a photographer or at least a student photographer (for lower rates).

Originally didn't want any decoration for the pub I think I'll change my mind.

We're having a jazz/blues band play for us too.

We had a smallish wedding (60).

Reception was on a boat in the Thames! It was great, guests still talk about it. And, no, it wasn't expensive. You can look around and think out of the box

When you are ready to choose your dress, go on MN's Style & Beauty board. Posters are very knowledgeable and helpful over there.

Small weddings can still be glam. I'd be more worried about why you don't have a single friend though...

Please look at jjshouse. Sorry, I can't get rid of the red squiggly line, but I promise, the spelling is correct. There are some gorgeous dresses on there. I had already chosen my dress as Mother of the Bride, but it all went wrong. Apparently there's a bit of germ thing going round.
Chin up. Shoulders back. Elbows out xx you WILL look fabulous!!

Your wedding sounds lovely and the kind of thing I’d enjoy too.
Hope you find the perfect dress and have a lovely day

The short question @CorianderQueen is that I've moved around. I've t mf to make friends through work but when moved to remote working (7 years ago) I stopped going to the office and socialising. The local people I've tried, they're lovely, they've tried too but we just don't click.

I didn't have a maid of honour. I don't like the idea of adult bridesmaids. I had three flower girls who were 12, 10 and 6.
I don't think it's unusual to have no bridesmaids or flower girls either.
I think your plan sounds lovely and cosy. I think weddings should reflect the couple. If you're the type of couple who go out and socialise with loads of friends then you should have a big, party vibe wedding. If you're more happy with your home comforts and family then have your wedding reflect that ☺️

Regarding the dress. I had a proper wedding dress for the ceremony and the first hour of the reception where I welcomed the guests. Once the drinks were flowing, I went to the toilets and put on a fancy maxi dress (silver with white beading but still only £70 from ASOS) and trainers so I could dance for the next 5 hours.
Do what ever makes you happy. X

That makes sense, in which case a small wedding followed by the pub sounds perfect. Plus, you'll save money.

The dress will look fine so long as it's not totally enormous.

I don't have any friends either. I'm kind of happy with that. Ish. After a serious physical assault. I had a brain injury. I was (apparently) abusive to family and friends. Sadly, I don't properly remember how it happened. I only know that I was being a horrid person. I was banned from MN, but thankfully, after explaining my stuff, they kindly let me back in.
My daughter is helping me with this.

I think you need to release ideas of what you think a “ proper” wedding should be & definitely step away from Bride magazine and the like. I used an American website called Offbeat Bride for ideas - lots of very “ out there” themed weddings but also some gorgeous homespun backyard weddings with a pot-luck suppers and other smaller scale events . So many creative or quirky things you can do. I also think there are probably a lot more high street names doing bridal style dresses now. Monsoon have a good reputation. I also think a regular designer or high end dress could be lovely. I looked at Liberty after having a horrible experience in a traditional bridal store - although in the end I had one made. Have fun with it.

We are having a tiny wedding. I'll be wearing a beautiful monsoon wedding dress and veil and don't care what anyone in the restaurant might think!

All of these expectations come from my teenage/early twenties years.

I really thought I didn't want a dress but went shopping because I thought I might as well do it. Tried the dress and bam! And realised I really wanted to look like the bride I thought I always wanted to look like .

I got married recently. Tiny wedding in the middle of Covid. We had a church wedding with 12 guests including our dc. We then went to a local coffee shop/ restaurant for afternoon tea and fizz and then on to our local for a few drinks. It was the most perfect day. I didnt wear a huge dress but I wore a white lace dress, wedding hair with pearls in and carried a bouquet so looked like a bride. I hadnt given looking out of place a thought but did get lots of people staring as I walked across the green to the shop. Was just funny to be honest and everyone stopped to congratulate us. Honestly dont care what anyone else thinks. We didnt and it was exactly what we wanted.

We had a small wedding at Gretna green. Planned and done in about 6weeks. Felt really intimate and special with just our closest rellies. And much less expensive and stressful than a big wedding.