The One Where Ross Has To Figure Out Clingfilm

[StuckInPollyannaMode]

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How’s that for a title?!

Well, I’ve done a deal on the car. Actually it drives very nicely. I can see it’s practical. And it’s not an old banger.

It’s not very me. But it is sensible, and sensible I must be.

Actually got some kip last night. 9-5.

How’s everyone else doing? Justilou is it warm in Oz? One of my best friends lives there and I haven’t seen her for too long. RandomMess have you managed to have a better night / find out when you’re going home?

I haven’t told him about handing it over to the solicitor and no mediation on Friday yet. Waiting for the notes and financial summery from the mediator first. Hopefully today.

@RandomMess turquoise is defo her / his best colour 😬

I’ve lost my dog jumpers and cannot find them anywhere and my poor border terrier needs them!

When we had over grooming issues and DGirlCat had borrow the summer pjs from the dog

Why is it that cats still look superior and even regal in clothes and dogs just look silly?

I'm de-lurking to say I think you're incredible OP. You are doing so well. You've got this. You really have.

Oh yes, my user name is from the film What We Do In The Shadows. Which is a good chuckle and if you haven't already I recommend you check out. It's on prime.

Loving these pics of dogs (and cat!)
Perhaps we could get them together and set them on Geller?! I suppose they'd just cover him in slobber, but he'd probably find that worse than if they bit him!

@dexterslockedintheshedagain ooo cunning plan! My border terrier is very kissy

Sounds like a cold. Mine was a thumping headache, tiredness, sore throat and just feeling generally unwell.

I hope you feel better better soon.

I always find a hot toddy helps me.

Ooh he HATES dogs. Good plan. I'd love one, but not right now. I regularly borrow friend's dogs though.

I have a high-needs cat instead. She hates humans, except for me I will post a pic of her later. She can't meiow, she squeaks.

Feeling a bit brighter now, got that ache at the back of the skull which means something is Lurking.

I've not heard back from SHL so have just sent her an email to ask what I should do re mediation tomorrow.

In reply I got her bill. £25 an email?! Janey. I'll be storing everything up to unleash in one fell swoop in the future.

I'm hoping her lack of response means she is formulating A Cunning Plan.

Friends to the rescue - we're going there Christmas Eve and Boxing Day. Gellar has stated he is not 'up for playing happy families' so won't be coming. GREAT! That means it's just the day itself to get through, and we've got tickets for Church then going for a walk so actually it's only the afternoon really I need to survive.

Hopefully he’ll be in full-Grinch mode on Christmas Day too, leaving you with more witnesses to his crapulousness and you can saunter off into the sunset with your kids and a clearer conscience.

Well if the afternoon is horrible you can slope of to a friends so they can have quality father daughter time.

Bugger arse tits wank, isn't that what Hugh Grant says?

Missed a call from SHL as was on the phone to the vicar. As you do.

She's left a long message. Crux of the matter is, I need to make up my mind - am I using her, or am I doing mediation? Can't do both. I can take his deal to her after he's completed it, so there is some value in doing tomorrow's session to see if he will reveal more pension information.

She's off on leave as of 5pm tonight for Christmas, I can phone her (I haven't had time this afternoon)

She's prepared and amended divorce petition so thats good to go in the new year. She hasn't had time to review all the documents so can't comment.

Frustrated.

Do I do the mediation, and thereby draw that to a close and see if he concedes anything at all, but that will give him the illusion of control and likely give me an easier ride over the next couple of weeks, or put it on hold, which saves me £125 BUT might put him in a filthy mood and it's now a little late to cancel OR do I give it one last shot?

Answers on the back of a virtual postcard please.

Off to open the wine.

I think you go knowing it won't achieve anything. Mediation isn't legally binding anyway??

You could be non committal with a "well I need to take legal advice but it's getting there"

Tricky. I mean it feels like you’re going to have to end up with the SHL route or get shafted plus he’s already in a shitty mood so frankly I’d save the £125 and put it in the lawyer pot.

I’d bin off the mediation. He’s got no intention of compromising or doing anything that it’s supposed to be there for. You’re miserable and tying yourself in knots anyway so you might as well cut the cord and take control instead of letting him steer. Plus save the money for the SHL, who you’re going to be using anyway. He’s only using mediation to obfuscate anyway, so why bother?

I would go for the mediation but keep my mouth shut. Let him think he's "winning". (Twat.) Then set the dogs lawyer on him in the new year.

With regard to packing - I packed up my ex's stuff - got a packing team in and they crated it all for storage. I'm not at all sorry about what I did to it all. I put live woodworm in the furniture crates and a load of spores from some terrible rotting damage. I let the kids poke holes in his very expensive hi-fi speakers and the cat had pissed on both the sofas after being accidentally locked in a room.

I told the packers to feel free to take a shit in the crates before sealing them up.

Small victories, and all that...

Perhaps it would tip him over the edge to go to his Morthers for Christmas

I think I'd go to mediation and see what he's offering. Then set the SHL on him.

My concern with accepting anything he says, is he happily hid his pension from you, what else has he got squirrelled away?

I'm going.

I mean, I'm going to have to pay anyway as it's within 48 hours. Plus I don't want to look like I'm not playing ball.

However fucked off I am about SHL it's not actually her fault, and I've learned my lesson about keeping everything to one email a week cos otherwise she charges me for a 2 line email

New plan - go tomorrow and say something along the lines of 'right I'll have to get legal advice on that, how do you think that is fair again?' ad infinitum

I've had 3 glasses of red. Not sure that's a good idea, so going to go to bed. My cold feels much better though!

I'd bloody LOVE it if he went to his mothers for christmas @RandomMess

Not going to happen, unfortunately. However, I have things planned every day, so they will have a nice holiday and I will unobtrusively be surrounded by supportive folk

Sounds like a plan!

Hope you sleep well 😴

In unrelated, but possibly more exciting news, I went for a bikini wax at lunchtime today. First time in...a looooong time.

Got home with the kids after cold soggy activities and hopped in a hot bath to warm up

HOLY MARY THAT HURT.

So I decided in for a penny in for a pound, and have slathered on some magnesium sulphate onto a horrid hair on my leg which I combed from my lovely 80 year old best friend neighbour (the paste, not the gammy leg) and am hoping it will come out (hair, not neighbour as gay but that’s entirely her business and more power to her elbow etc)

Anyone know how long I have to leave the paste on for? Swear I can already feel leg pulsing as if trenchfoot has taken hold. Mind you it has rained rather a lot lately,

Bill Bryson is calling me to bed. His book, I mean. Georgette has married off the Duke of Sale and all is well in her world, I need something a bit more modern for now.

Bit late to the thread, but I saw the title and guessed it was you!

Good luck at mediation tomorrow.

Hmm your lawyer needs to work for you. You should be comfortable in the next conversation to say- I’m divorcing an absolute dickwad here, and living with him. So attending mediation was my way of having a medium for him to share his self centred view of life and let slip some things he’s been hiding like half a million pounds of pension, but also because living with him till mid jan and parenting would be unbearable if I didnt do some of this, I do need a lawyer that understands that he’s a complete shmuck and helps me get a fair outcome.
And can you please explain pricing clearly again? My fault for not asking but now i realise I’m being charged per email , which is
fine I just need to clearly understand the fee schedule.

Absolutely get schedule of costs. You don’t have a crystal ball, and shouldn’t be expected to guess things. You should also point out to Geller and mediator that all financials were supposed to have been disclosed prior to mediation and were not. Ask if there are going to be any more surprises?