The One Where Ross Has To Figure Out Clingfilm

[StuckInPollyannaMode]

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How’s that for a title?!

Well, I’ve done a deal on the car. Actually it drives very nicely. I can see it’s practical. And it’s not an old banger.

It’s not very me. But it is sensible, and sensible I must be.

Actually got some kip last night. 9-5.

How’s everyone else doing? Justilou is it warm in Oz? One of my best friends lives there and I haven’t seen her for too long. RandomMess have you managed to have a better night / find out when you’re going home?

I haven’t told him about handing it over to the solicitor and no mediation on Friday yet. Waiting for the notes and financial summery from the mediator first. Hopefully today.

Countdown to Friday.
Have you got professional movers helping with the difficult heavy boxes with wine in
Make sure you pack the cork screw in an easy place to find, ie handbag.
Seriously though, be ready for an assortment of emotions from elation to deflation, & for the girls excitement to guilt that Daddy is alone..
Have you got internet installed there?

My ex was so entitled that he claimed child tax credit for a child he wasn't even seeing, so that he could use part of that money to pay child maintenance He was outraged when I disputed his claim and won, and told me that because of my selfishness he would no longer be able to pay maintenance.

Countdown to the last week you'll be living with him, Pollyanna... It'll be tough but you're so close to freedom now!

@MonaChopsis

My ex was so entitled that he claimed child tax credit for a child he wasn't even seeing, so that he could use part of that money to pay child maintenance He was outraged when I disputed his claim and won, and told me that because of my selfishness he would no longer be able to pay maintenance.

Did you go to CMS for maintenance? I hope you did and he had to pay regardless.

Tip for moving have a bag ready for immediate use. Look till, soap, towels. Snacks etc so you’re not frantically looking for these in boxes as soon as you get into your new home.

Loo roll not look till

MIL's advice on moving (years as army-wife made her a lone-packing expert) was:
=Pack tea/coffee /snack-making kit in a special box and keep it with you
=Make the beds up first.

My own addition is to keep the wine close too... tea only goes so far at the end of a day moving house (12 moves in 12 years :) ) Wendy Cope agrees:

“The day he moved out was terrible –
That evening she went through hell.
His absence wasn’t a problem
But the corkscrew had gone as well.”

(Rooting for you and wishing you all the best!)

Agree with an essentials box, kettle, tea, coffee, sugar, long life milk, garbage bags, loo roll, snacks. Also toothpaste, toothbrushes and soap with some towels.
I also had all purpose cleaner and wipes for any unexpected clean ups.
Make up beds first and then sort kitchen essentials and bath stuff.
Somewhere to sleep, something to eat and drink and the ability to bathe need to be prioritised.
Good luck

Yes re urgent supplies get transported in your car, pyjamas, wash kit, slippers, towels, dinner & breakfast supplies, paper towel, fairy liq. Washing up materials, tea towel,3 plates, & knife, fork spoon, kettle,
things to feed/distract dds. For confort,
Ex, hot water bottle, galaxy chocolate, blankets....
TV WITH THE CABLES.
& Wine.

Don’t forget the mugs (& wine glass) for you instant access box. It’s a real bummer when you go to make a brew and discover you forgot those!

I secretly love packing. Best part of a self catering holiday is deciding what to take. I've got my grab box.

The wine is carefully wrapped in towels, there shouldn't be any clinking! God knows I'm going to need it.

Gellar is SUCH A DICK.

I'm the one who sorted all the laptops, got them all working - he comes down and within 15 minutes DD1 has had a meltdown and he's off saying that she's autistic (she's not) and that we need help and he is going to email my parents.

Who live 200 miles away, are shielding and I'm not sure what he wants them to do anyway.

I just got an email from him, which I thought you might enjoy:

"I think we have to acknowledge that this is what will happen every day.
The chances of this occurring are very high.

We have to decide whether DD1 simply needs to go in, because she’s not going to cope learning like this, or we have to decide whether the only way to handle this in this period – which could be several months – is to all sit together most of the time, in one or other house.

DD2 could probably operate ok on her own, and with me.

You have to recognise you cannot literally stop working again – that’s not fair on you. I’m more than happy to sit and be with them for blocks of time, but what I can’t do is handle DD1 throwing stuff around and stomping off.

So we have to decide what to do. DD2 comes to me every day?

We organise a rota that has us all in each other’s homes every day, one day yours, next day mine.

You relocate to your parents and be done with it – take a week of being locked down to be Covid free, and then go.

We apply for DD1 to go to school."

I’m sure the school will be happy to take her so her father isn’t inconvenienced. Because she’s the only child in the UK who is being stroppy about home schooling.

Why don’t you reply and ask him if he means” recurring” and not “ occurring “ ?

Omg! The email!! In each other's houses every day??! Wtf? Have you replied? 😬

I have @CheshireCats

I think she just needs to get used to it and it’s a lot of change and there is a lot going on. She is fine now. I understand the challenge and I’m not underestimating it, but threatening her with getting ’sorted out’ is not helpful.

I will think about how to handle it.

I am certainly not going to my parents. And the answer is not us all sitting together.

Dammit @C0NNIE - I missed that one!

That email was my answer by the way, just in case it wasn't clear.

The thought of him coming and sitting in your new house causing the same misery that you are escaping from.... Please don't ever let him invade your house... And how will he ever cope on his own if he's pushing for 50 50??

Well done not pointing out how much better your DD1 is going to be when you have all moved into your new place and she doesn't have him around being a thundercloud all the time.

There is a lot of change your kids are dealing with right now. Most loving parents would give lots of leeway at the moment, home schooling is important but not vital, and if she's struggling, then lots of breaks, lots of empathy and lots of love and kindness will get her a lot further than her father 'not being able to deal with it'. Personally I would take it easy on them both until the move is complete and they are settled into your new place. Let the school know what you are doing and why. And focus on creating calm, stability and love in your new home. Everything else can follow from that. I suspect that her behaviour and issues will get a lot better once things settle down and her dad is a bit more arms length.

Ps he really hasn't figured out that he is not going to be welcome in your new house has he?

He would love to come to your house regularly.

Don't allow him in the door.

Your daughter's need a safe place.

The email is a great record of his treatment of your daughters during this new phase.

Bloody hell he really is the shitty gift that keeps on shitting giving! You are so close to freedom now it must be extra frustrating for you. I agree with pp letting school know.

He’s an idiot. Again.

Tantrums and stropping off.

Erm who has she learned that behaviour from?

He will have to take parental or annual leave on his days if that's what he need to cope with looking after her 🙄

The reality is that they will do no homeschooling with him.

Do not let him use this as an excuse for him to get excessive weekend time with them 🤬

She’ll probably get a lot better when she isn’t being stressed out by her father

Urghhhhh Polly i bet you are counting the damn seconds! This man is a moron, your girls are going to do so much better without him.

Now would be a good time to be clear that he won't be coming inside your house. Ever.