The One Where Ross Has To Figure Out Clingfilm

[StuckInPollyannaMode]

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How’s that for a title?!

Well, I’ve done a deal on the car. Actually it drives very nicely. I can see it’s practical. And it’s not an old banger.

It’s not very me. But it is sensible, and sensible I must be.

Actually got some kip last night. 9-5.

How’s everyone else doing? Justilou is it warm in Oz? One of my best friends lives there and I haven’t seen her for too long. RandomMess have you managed to have a better night / find out when you’re going home?

I haven’t told him about handing it over to the solicitor and no mediation on Friday yet. Waiting for the notes and financial summery from the mediator first. Hopefully today.

Remember his joy at getting a bucket in his last divorce...

*Myshinynewname2021 WTF! Make a deal??? Those are his children! Why the hell should OP sort out his move and renovation when he has done so little! That's entirely his problem. These two things aren't remotely comparable or subject to bartering. He needs to pay for essentials for his own DC. No ifs no buts and OP certainly does not need to beg or cajole him.

@RandomMess

Remember his joy at getting a bucket in his last divorce...

Haha exactly. He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer, and easily fooled.

Read never split the difference AND make a deal? Maybe read your post again. and don’t make a deal. He doesn’t have that power here, I’d lean to never split the difference approach myself.

@StuckInPollyannaMode hope you are doing ok, I do worry when you're quiet

@timeisnotaline

Read never split the difference AND make a deal? Maybe read your post again. and don’t make a deal. He doesn’t have that power here, I’d lean to never split the difference approach myself.

Never split the difference is the name of a book on negotiating. You make a deal by having your position which you stick to. It's not the same as simply refusing to go to the table in the first place. That book would be called 'I'd rather be pissed off than get anything for myself or my children, whether that's better behaviour, money or new laptops.' I'm sure you would enjoy that book very much.

Being petty isn't the same as winning. Doing a deal that is giving you everything you want and the illusion of him getting what he wants isn't losing.

Morning y’all

Sorry if I worried you. I’m ok. Just heads down dealing with home schooling and trying to work and pack the house. Was in bed by 8.30 last night (then of course I couldn’t sleep). Going to tackle the linen cupboard and the bookcase today. Once those are done it’s the biggie - the kitchen.

You’ll all be delighted to hear that Gellar has decided he can help this time around, depending on his schedule and as long as I realise that him doing so will mean he has to get up at 4.30am so he can also do his Big Important Job.

But more importantly, the school is doing a fantastic job, after a rocky start DD1 has settled down, we can do this. Plus a very good friend has loaned me her spare laptop so we’re ok for tech and those arguments can stop. Until I move out and buy them ones. At which point I will be taking the advice above re what the judge would say.

One week today is my moving day!!

I need to find my inner tiger. Do you think doing the freedom program would help me?

Also, I realise I have lost my way clothes wise. Just rely on the same few favourites. Got my eye on a few bits on eBay, I like Hush, Boden, Wallis, Jigsaw - some Fatface - any other ideas of brands to look at very gratefully received as at the moment I appear to be watching enough leopard print items to take on Bet Lynch.

@StuckInPollyannaMode
Yes Freedom Progamme very very helpful indeed. Also if you do it via Zoom then you get to connect with many others going through similar situations. It’s a 12 week course.

Well, I'm living in SeaSalt dresses at the moment, but you don't want to follow my fashion example - I team them with insanely coloured Snag tights (am tall and also not thin) and mock Docs with bonkers prints (am wearing the floral ones today, my other pair has owls on). My style is Old Lady Who Gives No Fucks.

Hi OP, I have been following your threads from the beginning and think you are doing amazing. Just wanted to recommend a brand called Sosander, I have three of their dresses and the are lovely. Comfortable and stylish.

I only leave the house to walk the dog 😂

I wear a long sleeved top from Lighthouse with thermal vest underneath and in the house a Jack Wills body warmer and joggers.

Then when I go out "dog walking jeans (covered in mud)" or if elsewhere clean smart jeans!!

When we were in the office I wear dresses that are all a similar shape - straight, and above the knee from all sorts of places as I'm a super short slip apple shaped and there is not much in existence that is flattering and fits.

@RandomMess sorry to hijack thread but being the same shape as you can you link me one so can see what you mean?

I seem to live in Next clothes!

@StuckInPollyannaMode you’re doing so well x.

This is a tunic I wear as a dress (I am REALLY short), the shape with or without the pleat works well just needs to skim the belly and show that you have slim hips

www.whitestuff.com/womens/tunics-and-kaftans/stream-blue-print-birch-cord-tunic/

I have a lot of silk tunics from Oasis that are probably a decade old!!

One on sea salt

www.seasaltcornwall.co.uk/clothing/dresses-tunics/tunic-tops/linen-boat-neck-oceanfront-tunic-top-longboat.htm

I’m living in these with skinny jeans at the mo:
www.landsend.co.uk/Womens_Pintucked_Brushed_Cotton_Tunic/pp/P_38135.html?dwvar_P__38135_color=%20OEB

Cosy, and hide a multitude of sins!

Love the white stuff @RandomMess and really like the land send shirt!

Sorry OP I’m a long term lurker avidly cheering you on

For the odd really crazy item of clothing I really like Joe Brown, my DD keeps stealing the jumpers and dresses though (not sure if that's an endorsement or not).

I like Joe Brown too!

I like Joe Brown, but their stuff doesn't fit me - it isn't geared to tall people, so waists sit in the wrong place and hems sit just perfectly wrong. If they did a tall range, I'd so be in there.

One of it works for me either 😂

I have absolutely no fashion tips, can honestly say I don't look in a full length mirror ever.. I do however live in UGG boots, which I buy in the sales, as v expensive, but honestly superior to UGG copies. & last for at least 3 winters.

but, re laptops, if you are buying the lap tops out of your pocket, then when DDs are staying with him they will have to take them to his ?
Will he be buying 2 more ? or will he expect the girls to take the ones you have paid for ?.....You should ask him, (as even if you would not withhold them) he would be better paying half than paying for another two !!!!!

& re moving the furniture, what furniture ? is his house sold furnished ? or is he taking giant bookcases/ wardrobes? in which case he will have to ask the guys who help him move them in to leave a small space behind so he can paint ! (or more likely his painter?)
You won't be going there !

I love Toast but they are ridiculously expensive so I tend to get them from ebay or hope they have my size left when they go in the sale.

I've just spent a while reading your threads. You are amazing and your children will thank you. 1 week to go!

@RandomMess

One of it works for me either 😂

I think you need to be between 5'6'' and 5'8'' for their stuff to work. Long torsos and limbs not allowed. Ms Average only.

As a long-armed 5'10 I'm a bit stuffed there.
At least SeaSalt works for me a lot of the time and I like their stuff.

I've just ordered from the Seasalt website thanks to you lot!