[quote pizzaandcats]@lunalulu I get what you're saying but he actually didnt open up did he? Every new bit of info has been "everything" until the next little bit. How can I ever know what else there is that he hasn't told me? I'm in limbo, stuck between knowing he's done wrong and crossed the line but not know how far he's gone. He'll never admit that, he knows exactly what my stance on that is and there are no second chances. I'm very black and white on this after the last relationship. He's not admitted to anything more than hiding a meeting with a friend and telling lies - still not exactly divorcable is it? Where the hell do we go from here 
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No he hasn't opened up.
There is no positive aspect from the point of view of looking at his behaviour.
He has deliberately gaslighted, tried to 'hide in plain sight' by being 'open' about certain elements to put your mind at rest, lied to your by omission about everything, then 'come clean' only about exactly what he thought you'd find out anyway, at every stage. The latest will of course have been frantic email/message deletions before showing you. All messages after September deleted. So that's presumably how long it's been going on.
It is absolutely classic affair behaviour (whether emotional or sexual) and the fact that he's 'so not the type' is sadly, from reading a billion threads on here, absolutely TYPICAL.
It is worth noting that his initial 'hide in plain sight' technique (how long has he been doing that, I wonder??) - for example, the bumbling back home with her present in his hand, the being casually 'upfront' about her being a friend, the lunch etc... you do realise that the only reason he would have thought this approach would work is because he knows you actually aren't insecure or jealous and would be fine with the concept of a perhaps slightly vague 'meeting...lunch...secret Santa' with another woman? Ponder that... if you were the jealous insecure person he'll now explain is the reason why he 'had to fib' - then he would have had to have hidden it all in the first place. So Bull Shit to that.
It was simple bad luck really that this unravelled, along with a tiny bit of overconfidence in the amount of 'vague' you would swallow.
Yes, it's divorceable. You can't trust your husband to tell you the truth about his involvement with other women. Which is pretty much game over for what marriage is supposed to mean.
Many a stupid and ever so slightly unfaithful man who 'never meant it to get that far' has fucked up his marriage by doing exactly this. Because you've hit the nail on the head - you now know he won't admit how far he's gone. Game over. When you know there is a 'far' to have gone... that's over the line.