Page 8 | So the the grass belonging to the OW wasn't really greener then was it?!

todayIdrankmilk · 08/12/2020 08:40

@jemimathecat

This is light hearted post but I just wanted to hear if there were any stories out there where your partner/spouse went off with the OW and the grass suddenly turned to mud?!! After being deeply hurt, I now find myself chuckling when I think of the ex (mid 50's) back to changing nappies and sleepless nights and telling his mother that he has no time for himself and cannot BELIEVE how expensive baby formula is!! Most of his friends are driving sports cars and have grown up kids (like we also do) yet the only thing he's driving is a new double buggy ! LOL!

This does sound quite bitter. He is likely very happy with his new family.

Anniegetyourgun · 08/12/2020 08:40

ps For clarification, I didn't think the wife was boring, I liked her (on very short acquaintance). Should have put that in quotes.

ImAKaren · 08/12/2020 09:23

My friend's husband left her (after 20 years of marriage and 3 kids) for a woman in her 20s. They have gone on to have two children together, both of whom suffer from a genetic abnormality which makes normal life impossible. The dad is now reaching retirement age but cares for the children round the clock.

Yohoheaveho · 08/12/2020 09:32

@MsTSwift

Dh met several of these at his cycling club. Ditched same age wives and teen kids for thirty year olds - then no shit the new wives want babies! Cue Men bitterly complaining that they back to nappies and drudge while their peers are holidaying easing back on work and enjoying life. Dh was 🤨.

They assume they will get the best of both worlds, these clever high-flying men but they never take the time to think it through, to put themselves in the shoes of the woman and predict what's going to happen, perhaps because they see women as me appendages and forget that they have minds of their own 🤔

lostintheday · 08/12/2020 09:38

@Techway

I think there should be public health announcement for men who hit middle age and decide to turn their lives upside down and destroy family life...maybe Boris could front it and distribute leaflets in motorbike and cycle shops.

Sumptuosity · 08/12/2020 09:43

I know a pair of karma victims...

He was middle aged and married. OW was in her mid-20s and met him through his wife.

They started an affair. He left his wife, moved in with OW, had his vasectomy reversed because OW wanted kids. OW was pregnant before the divorce came through. He and OW eventually got married when the kid was 2.

All his family and friends thought he was being a dickhead. I was at the (expensive) wedding and it was one of the least joyous occasions ever because they were all clearly Team Ex-Wife. The OW's family were deeply religious and pissed off that their daughter had nicked someone else's husband, and also pissed off that it wasn't a 'real' (religious) wedding because he was divorced and their church wouldn't marry them. Long faces all round, everyone left the evening do by 9pm.

And then... he got made redundant from his cosy white-collar job. The (workshy) OW had to get an actual paying job for basically the first time in her life and was very unhappy about this. Then she discovered he'd been messaging other women. They had a long, bitter divorce after about 2 years of marriage.

In the years since then, he's finally managed to find a minimum wage job, and lives alone in a small flat. She had to move back in with her parents, who she doesn't get on with and who disapprove of her for behaving immorally. She's also got vastly obese (as has he). Both are still very much single, and that seems unlikely to change.

I feel very sorry for the kid, though.

HitthatroadJack · 08/12/2020 09:48

@PicsInRed

There are a few ladies here who "doth protest too much" as to the happiness of their old men, knee deep in 2nd and 3rd family nappies. Best of luck to you all. 🍷🤣

the bitterness is strong on this thread. As expected.

Yohoheaveho · 08/12/2020 09:52

Midlife crisis man desires the kudos and flattery of having a much younger hotter partner
It doesn't occur him that there will be a price to pay, a pound of flesh to give....this hot young woman will want some compensation for having to do the work of propping up an old man's ego

Yohoheaveho · 08/12/2020 09:55

@ImAKaren

My friend's husband left her (after 20 years of marriage and 3 kids) for a woman in her 20s. They have gone on to have two children together, both of whom suffer from a genetic abnormality which makes normal life impossible. The dad is now reaching retirement age but cares for the children round the clock.

That didn't go well for him did it:( I'm not sure what the risk factors were for the genetic abnormality but... It seems like a good reason for young women not to waste their youthful eggs on 'old man sperm'?

Frankola · 08/12/2020 09:57

How do you know he didn't want those kids?

He's not going to be honest with you if he did is he?

Of course he'd tell you they were accidents. Its very unlikely they were though.

lostintheday · 08/12/2020 09:57

I really don't understand why people feel the need to come on and tell OP her ex is happy. It is clear OP has been through a life changingly painful experience, that has been 'done to her' by the person who was meant to walk through life with her. She's going through a process to work through that and this post is part of that.

Rustyplastic · 08/12/2020 10:01

@HitthatroadJack ahhh ‘bitterness ‘ that overused word men and younger women like to throw at more mature women who actually know better and have the guts to speak the truth
Sweetness is nothing but putting up with men’s bullshit . Most young women should pray they get called ‘bitter’ one day because it’s simply a label society puts on wisdom and assertiveness that women gain with age that scares the hell out of them !

goldenharvest · 08/12/2020 10:03

My brothers ex had an affair which ended the marriage. The man she was shagging and who she thought was really wealthy with a big house, turned out to be living in his partners house, with no claim to it, and had a low paid job and no money. She thought he would take over mortgage and treat her to the lifestyle she loved and which DB had financed for years. She also thought DB would walk away and sign the house over to her if he wanted to see his children again. He fought in the court. She had to pay him half the equity, take out a huge mortgage and work her socks off to pay for it. She dumped other man and hasn't met someone else yet. DB on the other hand met the love of his life. Karma

AlternativePerspective · 08/12/2020 10:07

I suspect the “you’re bitter” comments are coming from a lot of OW who are the mothers to these children of the older men who of course don’t mind having kids.

Surely only someone who has had an affair could actually think that a man who has dumped his wife and kids for a younger model and has had children with her is extatically happy and the dumped ex wife is clearly bitter...

AlternativePerspective · 08/12/2020 10:09

I remember watching a programme on BBC once about age gap relationships. Men and women 30 or 40 years apart.

Anyway one of these relationships had come about because a man had run off with his daughter’s best friend. In the beginning they were blissfully happy at the end of the programme they announced he’d had a stroke and she’d had to become his full-time carer.

likeamillpond · 08/12/2020 10:09

@lostintheday

I really don't understand why people feel the need to come on and tell OP her ex is happy. It is clear OP has been through a life changingly painful experience, that has been 'done to her' by the person who was meant to walk through life with her. She's going through a process to work through that and this post is part of that.

There are some bitter men that have come on to defensively post. To be expected I suppose.

Hardbackwriter · 08/12/2020 10:10

@AlternativePerspective

I suspect the “you’re bitter” comments are coming from a lot of OW who are the mothers to these children of the older men who of course don’t mind having kids.

Surely only someone who has had an affair could actually think that a man who has dumped his wife and kids for a younger model and has had children with her is extatically happy and the dumped ex wife is clearly bitter...

I don't have any skin in this game - I've never been an OW, never been a cheated on wife - but if I'm honest I do think it's a bit weird/wishful thinking to look at a couple who have just had a second child, have clearly been together for a number of years now and think 'ah, they must be truly miserable'. No one thinks that about a first family, do they?

SchadenfreudePersonified · 08/12/2020 10:13

We went round to the boring old house where the boring old wife, who truly enough didn't have a glamorous bone in her body, welcomed us and made everybody tea. The husband told dad privately that it was all to pieces with the ex-OW because instead of freedom and adoration he'd got sleepless nights with a baby-obsessed hormonal woman of a different generation and they had nothing to say to each other... wife was a good cook and made his life comfortable, so he went back to that. I sometimes wonder what happened to the youngster with a new baby who wasn't as much fun as he thought she would be.

If I'd been that "boring old wife" I'd have kicked the bugger into touch and told him to get on with it. All I can think is that they had children who begged their mum to take their git of a dad back, and she caved in for their sake.

likeamillpond · 08/12/2020 10:14

[quote Rustyplastic]@HitthatroadJack ahhh ‘bitterness ‘ that overused word men and younger women like to throw at more mature women who actually know better and have the guts to speak the truth
Sweetness is nothing but putting up with men’s bullshit . Most young women should pray they get called ‘bitter’ one day because it’s simply a label society puts on wisdom and assertiveness that women gain with age that scares the hell out of them ![/quote]
Couldn't have put it better.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 08/12/2020 10:14

@ImAKaren

My friend's husband left her (after 20 years of marriage and 3 kids) for a woman in her 20s. They have gone on to have two children together, both of whom suffer from a genetic abnormality which makes normal life impossible. The dad is now reaching retirement age but cares for the children round the clock.

That is very sad - poor children. I couldn't take pleasure in that.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 08/12/2020 10:21

ahhh ‘bitterness ‘ that overused word men and younger women like to throw at more mature women who actually know better and have the guts to speak the truth

Absolutely!

And FWIW, if I had been a betrayed wife, although I wouldn't want a blow by blow account of how/where my ex was living, if I found out that his new woman was making his life a misery, I would have a little smile to myself and then just get back to my life.

I wouldn't be bitter, but I don't think I could resist a bit of "serves you right" - especially if I had children who had been devastated by his behaviour.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 08/12/2020 10:21

bold fail before- sorry

lostintheday · 08/12/2020 10:23

No one thinks that about a first family, do they?

And you really can't think of any reasons why some people (such as a dumped wife) would have reason to think differently about the first family from the second family which is founded on the abandoning of the first family?

HitthatroadJack · 08/12/2020 10:23

[quote Rustyplastic]@HitthatroadJack ahhh ‘bitterness ‘ that overused word men and younger women like to throw at more mature women who actually know better and have the guts to speak the truth
Sweetness is nothing but putting up with men’s bullshit . Most young women should pray they get called ‘bitter’ one day because it’s simply a label society puts on wisdom and assertiveness that women gain with age that scares the hell out of them ![/quote]
It's hardly wisdom to making things up. If the ex had been dumped by OW for a younger/richer/musclier model, then yes, how laughable that would be. Karma doing its job.

The ex starting a new family... Where's the bullshit? Where do you know better? YOU might be older and unwilling to have more kids, it's amazing you cannot comprehend that not everybody is the same. Posters are so narrow minded that they cannot comprehend a MAN would ever want a child.

It would be better to move on, stop trying to find cracks and problems in the new relationship. Who is going to be hurt about the news of the ex doing a fuss about "baby 1st Christmas", and everything else? And possibly all the things he didn't even do for his first children?

Not that it's anywhere relevant, but I happen to be my husband's first wife...It's very possible to have an opinion without being the "OW", but some posters can't see that.

DreadingSeason2020sFinale · 08/12/2020 10:25

Only reason the grass is greener is that it's better fertilised with all the bullshit. Posts like this do make me happy.

My late dad treated my mum badly then ended up with a string of unhappy partners, one of which left when he was working and emptied HIS house of all HIS stuff. They had gone shopping together to furnish the place but dad had paid for everything as he owned the house. She just picked what she wanted. No financial contribution from her whatsoever. And they were only together a few short months so it wasn't even shared accumulated assets over time.