So the the grass belonging to the OW wasn't really greener then was it?!

[jemimathecat]

This is light hearted post but I just wanted to hear if there were any stories out there where your partner/spouse went off with the OW and the grass suddenly turned to mud?!!
After being deeply hurt, I now find myself chuckling when I think of the ex (mid 50's) back to changing nappies and sleepless nights and telling his mother that he has no time for himself and cannot BELIEVE how expensive baby formula is!!
Most of his friends are driving sports cars and have grown up kids (like we also do) yet the only thing he's driving is a new double buggy ! LOL!

Karma is a wonderful thing. X

Very interested in this! No OW involved, but exh very keen to get into a new relationship quickly after our breakup.

He now has a pregnant fiancée who does not even live with him yet, but apparently that is the plan (his plan?). We’ll see what happens next but he didn’t cope with night wakings and being tied to small kids in his early - mid 30s, so god knows what he’ll make of it in his mid 40s!

My arse hole have a an ex was an immature controlling cheating bastard.

Found out he was getting blow jobs while I was at work.

Anyways, we split, I'd had enough.

He then gets with a girl who's 19 (he was 26 at the time), got her pregnant within a few month, married a couple of month later.

Last time I heard they both were living in her parents house with sister and boyfriend. 6 adults and 1 kid. Also I heard he cheated on her at his christmas due.
while I'm a home owner, happily engaged and got my own family with a non arse hole

There is no such thing as karma. 😂😂😂
Shit happens.
We've all been there, had a moan and been upset about how we've been wronged.

If you really think it's "karma" then let's take cheating, surely by that exact logic, the fact someone did this to you means you did something to deserve it in the first place? Isn't it just your karma then?
Or is life just sometimes shit?
And some good people do bad things, and some bad people do good things.

Yes your ex may have treated you bad but the best "revenge" if you need it is to live your life and be as happy as you can and not revel in people's misfortunes no matter how they may come about.
If they are truly awful people then by default good people won't want to be around them.

distribute leaflets in motorbike and cycle shops

She had a very young son with a drum kit 🤣🤣

My dad was an unrelenting bustard to me and my mum.

I couldn’t help but chortle at this typo.

www.rspb.org.uk/our-work/conservation/projects/reintroducing-the-great-bustard-to-southern-england/

Not me but a friend.

She'd had her first 'surprise' in uni so she left, they got married and she was mainly a SAHP. He was a Dr and they lived in hospital accommodation so he'd phone her and ask her to run a bath, when he had to study he would go to the library etc.

Another 2 children later and he off married to the other woman and they have a baby.

Now I would not wish this on anyone but the OW/new wife had serious post natal depression, to the point she wasn't left at home with the baby

Suddenly Dr exh has to take a baby to maternal grandma before work and collect after, do all night feeds, change all nappies.

He did phone his ex to say how he had no idea how hard it was.

When I was 19 I dated someone who was about 24. He was a lot more worldly wise than me, but often commented how he lived this, I was different etc... Anyway one night he stood me up and I didn't hear from him again. I was gutted!

About 4 years ago after dropping dc off at school the local radio was on and they were interviewing a listener they had sent on a blind date to see how it went. I recognised his voice immediately (he had a very distinctive cakey voice!) and listened to him as he explained there was no spark, he was lonely, just wanted someone to share his life with and settle down.

To my shame, I rang the radio station and ended up speaking to one of the presenters (not in air) and she found it hilarious when I told her if he hadn't treat people like shit when he was younger he would have settled down. She did ask if I wanted to be set up on a date with him and laughed when I said dh and dc probably wouldn't be too happy about that

Enjoy the moment OP!

I’m mid forties and my children are coming up to teens. The thought of going through it all again.....just NO. Life is getting easier, babies are really hard in comparison.

No experience of this myself. Laughing in solidarity at your stories of survival.

@Techway

I think there should be public health announcement for men who hit middle age and decide to turn their lives upside down and destroy family life...maybe Boris could front it and distribute leaflets in motorbike and cycle shops.

I’d contribute to crowd-fund that.

All middle-aged men should be sent free vouchers to therapy. 5 sessions should do it. And be required to keep a Gratitude diary for two years.

As I commented to a friend yesterday, you see so many divorced dads living in quasi-squalor, head in hands, rife with addictions. They seem to be in shock that they’re stuck in some kind of horrid lonely Groundhog Day, instead of the glamorous, powerful singledom that the patriarchy promised them.

And the divorced middle-aged women I see around seem to blossom, and have lives full of people, pets, hobbies and meaning. Some bitterness, yes, but not usually of their making.

Obviously a mad generalisation on my part, but it really does stand out as more than coincidence where I live.

There are some men out there who like being older dads are very good dads. My dp being one of them.

The OW will be cheated on too. I felt sorry for her as much as I did for myself.

My ex cheated too many times to count. He got engaged to her less than a month after I left him. That didn't end well when he cheated on her and her friends started threatening him.

He got married a few years ago and lived to the US (that wife was American) and they had a child. They have since split up so he is stuck in the US, dependant on her with no family or friends and nothing to move back to the U.K. for because none of his family have enough money for him and his friends are all too busy with their own marriages and children to bother with him.

Meanwhile I've been with my husband for coming to to 10 years, he is raising my ex's kids as his own, we have a lovely house, good friends, loads of family and yes even though this year sucks and it's been a struggle we are pretty bloody happy. My eldest kids with my ex are amazing and make me so proud and they adore their little brother. It just makes me sad that they have another little brother out there that will never know my kids snd is missing out on 2 of the greatest role models ever. It melts my heart each night to hear them playing with him and to see his face when they come home from school.

Another journalist documented his friend who dumped his wife for a much younger woman, pathetically tried to keep up with her young woman lifestyle, it inevitably broke up. He regretted it, grew up himself and married someone his own age. (his ex wife remarried too).

Similar story here. He didn't dump me for a younger woman but I did catch him out having an affair with one and made him leave.
They stayed together for 2 years ( mainly I suspect because they did a lot of damage to relationships, friendships, etc in the process and neither had anyone else to turn to).

She had no kids and was still living the life of many 20-somethings while he was 40 had two very heartbroken kids and an ex wife who was going to bloody well make sure he paid his way and saw his kids. Surprise surprise, after two years of pretence and trying to live a life he left behind 13 years before, she apparently got fed up with how much time he spent with his kids and they split.

He is now with someone a couple of years older than us, with kids (one teenage) and I have been in a relationship with a lovely guy for 16 months.

I think her grass was full of shit.

Oh, and he'd had the snip after our second child as he definitely didn't want any more kids and she didn't have any so I'm pretty sure that would have played a part too.

My ExH dumped me after 14 years of marriage for someone he had been seeing a few months. He left a Xmas card for me to see from her saying how happy she was to have met him and how they were going to spend rest of lives together... She was a bunny boiler and they had a very, very stormy relationship and lasted a year or so on and off. He said she had faulty wiring. He then met a much younger girl who when asked for a contribution to the rent asked “why as it doesnt cost you any more for me to live here”... he now lives on his own...

@FlatScreenTV01

The OW will be cheated on too. I felt sorry for her as much as I did for myself.

I am not as gracious as you FlatScreen.

When we were 18, my best friends dad left their mum for a 22 year old 🤢

My best friends mum had recently had the house completely renovated, and perfectly decorated which was paid for by my friends dad before she found out about the affair.

Best friends mum got the house in the divorce. She was working full time, but was able to have friends around whenever she wanted, go out whenever she wanted, go on holiday whenever.

Best friends dad ended up with a massive mortgage on a new house, 3 young children, full time job, no money, no free time. No contact with his adult child. Ended up divorcing the other woman, and she took him to the cleaners.

My best friend and her mum have no contact with him and are living their best life, whilst their dad is approaching retirement age and won't be able to retire, still with 3 kids under 12. Alone.

I love karma.

Dh met several of these at his cycling club. Ditched same age wives and teen kids for thirty year olds - then no shit the new wives want babies! Cue Men bitterly complaining that they back to nappies and drudge while their peers are holidaying easing back on work and enjoying life. Dh was 🤨.

My friend who works in a male dominated industry, was commenting the other day on the high levels of regret amongst her colleagues in their 40s and 50s who had ditched their first wives for a younger model, only to find themselves back in exactly the situation which had triggered their wandering in the first place - sleepless nights, the hard, hard work of having small children and less money (as they have 2 families to support). The ex-wives had all moved on to a much easier stage - older kids, more freedom, more free time.

@FlatScreenTV01

The OW will be cheated on too. I felt sorry for her as much as I did for myself.

Some older men might be good dads but they are automatically disqualified from this title if they dump their children from their first marriage once they move one to little kiss young one and have more My father did exactly this . Apparently my brother and I were a painful reminder of his days without money once his business picked up and he ran off with the secretary only a few years my senior . Once they had kids he couldn’t be stuffed with us. In fact I think he would rather we just didn’t exist and he could pretend his life started when he met her and he was her age

@todayIdrankmilk

There are some men out there who like being older dads are very good dads. My dp being one of them.

Oops sorry the above post was supposed to be in relation to this quote I somehow hit the wrong post to quote

Many years ago my dad became friends with the man who fixed his Land Rover (needed a lot of fixing so they had plenty of time to chat) and who had recently left his comfortable, boring old wife and mostly-grown offspring for a leggy young blonde. He waxed ecstatic about how much joy it was nowadays to be adored and free, had run out of things to say to wife as they only had raising children in common etc. One time he dropped round to fetch tools or something with OW in tow. She was stunning, about half his age (20/40 approx) and very heavily pregnant.

A while later we went round to visit him, I think to pay the last installment for the work he'd done or some such. We went round to the boring old house where the boring old wife, who truly enough didn't have a glamorous bone in her body, welcomed us and made everybody tea. The husband told dad privately that it was all to pieces with the ex-OW because instead of freedom and adoration he'd got sleepless nights with a baby-obsessed hormonal woman of a different generation and they had nothing to say to each other... wife was a good cook and made his life comfortable, so he went back to that. I sometimes wonder what happened to the youngster with a new baby who wasn't as much fun as he thought she would be.

My mother had been dead for a few years at that point, otherwise I expect she would have made some choice comments.